Musings Of A Cigarette Smoking Man

Cancer Man: "Life is like a box of chocolates.  A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for.  Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else to eat.  Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but they're gone too fast and taste is fleeting.  You end up with nothing but broken bits of hardened jelly and teeth shattering nuts.  If you're desperate enough to eat those, all you got left is an empty box filled with useless, brown, paper wrappers."

Cancer Man: "I can kill you whenever I please... but not today."

Cancer Man: "This isn't the ending I wrote?"

Byers: "Frohike's close."
Frohike: "Don't use my name!  What the hell's wrong with you?  Now I'll have to kill you."
Byers: "Langly and I performed..."
Frohike: "He's everywhere!  Everywhere.  He'll kill me."
Mulder: "Noone would kill you, Frohike.  You're just a little puppy-dog."
Frohike: "I don't utter another syllable until a CSM-25 countermeasure filter is activated."
[Signal goes fuzzy, CM taps counter measures filter, gets clear again]
Byers: "No electronic surveillance known can cut through the CSM-25."
[CM smiles]

Cancer Man: "I'd rather read the worst novel ever written that sit through the best movie ever read."
Bill Mulder: "My one year old just said his first word."
Cancer Man: "What was the word?"
Bill: "JFK."
Cancer Man: (Smiling) "Catch you later, Mulder."

General: "Cigarette?"
Cancer Man: "No thank you sir, I never touch them."

MIB#1: "The assignment is the assassination of an American civilian, aged 36.  former naval PT boat commander, married, father of two."
Cancer Man: "Is there a cover story?"
MIB#2: "Tell them it was done by men from outer space."
MIB#1: "We found and are setting up a patsy."

Cancer Man: "Shouldn't smoke those, Lee.  I'm reading studies that say they can kill you."
Lee Harvey Oswald: "Well, Mr. Hunt, sir, I heard about those reports. (Coughs) And they are no doubt correct."

Cancer Man: (To Oswald) "...I love the movies..."

Cancer Man: "Why didn't you know this was coming, Edgar?"  (J.E. Hoover)

Cancer Man: "You have enough plausible deniability to last the rest of your  nine lives."

Cancer Man: "What I don't want to see is the Bills winning the Super Bowl. As long as I'm alive that doesn't happen."
MIB#3: "Could be tough, sir.  Buffalo wants it bad."
Cancer Man: "So did the Soviets in '80."
MIB#3: "What, you saying you rigged the Olympic hockey game?"
Cancer Man: "What's the matter?  Don't you believe in miracles?"

(Continued on page 79)