The war between the Toon Army and the fans or DINAMO Kyiv Has now ended A ceasefire has been brokered between representatives of both the Kyivians and the Toon army on xmas eve. The toon army and the Kyivians will no longer FOWL each others Guest books

I have agreed on behalf of "Rikplace"to tone down the chickens from Kiev page and try to stop taking the piss out of everyone (thats my new years resolution anyway) and the Kyivians will Write some nice things in Riks Guestbook. A new era of friendship has begun.

This is the team led by the ever smiling Vallery Lobanovsky. Notice how many of his players have smiles on thier faces. Thats right none! this is because they know that if they should fail in their mission to conquer europe they will be turned, like some of their fans into chicken Kievs.

Many new varietys of Chicken Kievs are now on sale all over Europe.

The worst seller is Shevchenko. with none having been sold yet , possibly the asking price of £12million is putting everyone off . One was almost sold at a supermarket in manchester last week. but even the residents of Manchester have more sense than to spend so much on a useless overrated waste of space than that.

Newcastle United recently visited Kiev for a friendly game of soccer

Venue Olympic stadium in front of a hostile crowd of 100,000 Ukranians.

LINE UP FOR NEWCASTLE {*) = Riks Rating, out of ten

SHAY GIVEN{9}  STEVE WATSON{9}DARREN PEACOCK {9}PHILIPPE ALBERT{8}  DAVID BATTY{8}........................ JOHN BARNES{8}......................JOHN BERESFORD{10}  KEITH GILLESPIE {10} WARREN BARTON {9}  ROBERT LEE {9)sub KETSBAIA{9} TINO ASPRILLA{9}sub TOMASSON{8}

The game starts at a cracking pace. After 4 minutes disaster strikes Albert and Bez fail to mark properly and Kiev take an early lead. Newcastle come back at Kiev well. Asprilla looks extremely dangerous. He puts the frighteners on their defence and the keeper. The Ukrainians start to play dirty, Tino picks up a yellow card, then gets a free kick himself. As he takes the kick he seems to pull a muscle. He is stretchered off. Although we didn't realise it at the time this would be the last time that he would play in the Champions league this year. He underwent an operation was out until December. Tomasson cant get on to replace Tino. Barton does well and nobbles one of the Ukrainians.But while we are down to 10 men Kiev score again. Newcastles heads drop a bit. They struggle until half time. Kenny is not pleased. At half time K.D.inspires the lads. They come out after the break a different team In the 77th min Newcastle get a throw in, in a promising position. From the throw , the ball is chested down to Beresford, He shoots, The ball goes straight through the keepers legs. Its a goal. DINAMO KIEV 2 NEWCASTLE UTD 1. The keeper thumps the ground in anger, What a plonker .Newcastle rush to get the game restarted, with 12 minutes left ,still a chance Beresford had made up for his defensive error earlier in the game. The game resumes, Newcastle keep up the pressure.5 minutes later a corner to Newcastle Gillespie swings the ball into the box. It is knocked back to Beresford, He hits it to the keepers left. A defender gets a foot to it. It takes a deflection , and heads off to the keepers right Its A GOAL. He has done it again. DINAMO KIEV 2 NEWCASTLE UTD 2 only 7 mins left, Shay given makes another fine save. We go in for the kill but Kiev waste time they no they are beaten .They are lucky to escape with a draw. Newcastle were much the better team for most of the game and deseved to win

Venue St James Park on Wednesday 10th December.

Hislop(10) Pistone (7).....................Peacock.(8).................Albert (8)......................Pearce (10) Watson (9)................Lee(7).................Batty (10).....(Hughes (9) for Pistone1/2time) Gillespie (10)................................Barnes (10)........................Tino (7)..(ketsbaia (9)

Newcastle started the match with a well balanced 4-3-3 formation .The first half started at a cracking pace. The thing most notable to me was the fact that players you expect to play well were not on their best form (lee, pistone and Tino) On the other hand players who have not shone to much this year had a wonderful game (Hislop, Barnes and Pearce)

After only 9 minutes into the game, we couldn't believe our eyes when normally Mr sensible (David batty) Dribbled his way past 4 defender, He got to the edge of the box and crossed to an awaiting John Barnes. He then turned and spun past the last defender. HE SHOT AND SCORED AN AMAZING GOAL. NEWCASTLE 1 KYIV 0 . It was the first Goal that we had scored in the champs league since Beresfords brace in Kyiv almost 2 months ago.

11 minutes later and another amazing goal .Jjust outside the box and pistone was awarded a free kick for a high boot against him. Lee and Pearce stepped up , neither looking like they new what they were doing. It was indirect so Pearce taped the ball to Lee. Rebrov raced from the wall but Pearce had continued his run and just beat the Ukranian to the ball. He thundered it around the wall and into the top of Kyivs net. NEWCASTLE 2 KYIV 0.

It was Pearces first goal ever in Europe and his first (of many) for Newcastle. Dads Freebie army were tonight showing the Toon that Dalglish was right to sign them. Many critics (me amongst them ) would be silenced by tonights performance.

At halftime Pistone ,who had been struggling for most of the game came off. He was replaced by 19 year old Aaron Hughes .He moved out to play as a left wing back with his opposite Watson dropping into a right wing back role. The tactic did its job in keeping the chickens at bay. £12 million rated shevchenko and Rebrov found it difficult to break down our superb defence. After an hour a tiered looking Tino was replaced by a lively Ketsbaia . He did well but had little support from Our Midfield. Lee looked like he had orders to keep possession and make sure that Newcastle held on to the £3/4 million win bonus. In a league game we would have pushed forward more but tonight there was big money at stake. Perhaps this was the wrong tactic, I would have thought that attack was the best form of defence as we had shown in the first half.

 The game ended with Newcastle winning 2-0 .

It was Kyivs first defeat in the Champs league this year. It was also our first clean sheet of the tournament. Kyiv will be one of the favorites now to win the Champions League ,although I will be suporting Juventos and Monaco. Kyiv have Emerged from the strongest group as worthy winners. Well done to the Kyiv players. Pity that they dont have very nice fans to givre them some good support.

I hear that the ukranians have now seen the funny side of this page and I think they Quite enjoyed the war over xmas. So to all Ukranians out there like Jaraslaw, Vasily, Sergei, and of course My new friend Seva, Keep smilling, keep giving your team the support that they deserve , All the best against the Italians. A cautious warning though to any travelling Ukranians. The Police in Italy are BASTARDS , did you see what they did to innocent English football fans(CLICK HERE) take care and give those Dirty Ities a good stuffing from us, Just remember though If you do win the Euro cup there is still one team that is better than you, Newcastle United.