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Welcome to Geordieland

This page is designed as a help page for overseas visitors.

It will give you a few facts about Geordieland that you may not know.

You will learn about the place,the people and the language.

Map of Great Britain

Since coming into power in the spring, the labour government have unveiled plans to split the U.K. into sixteen self ruling autonomous regions. This is the new proposed map of Great Britain, stolen from the briefcase of a famous cabinet minister by one of his mistresses. The English Counties will be abolished and replaced by self ruling regions,as will Scotland and wales. Ireland will decide what they want to do soon. click on the lst for details of that region

GEORDIELAND

BONNIE SCOTLAND

THE LAKES

MACEMLAND

LANCS

SMOGLAND

SCOUSELAND

YORKSHIRE

SCUMLAND

MIDLANDS

BRUMIELAND

THE BROADS

TAFFIELAND

THE SOOTH

NEEFOOTYLAND

COCKNEYLAND

Map of the UK

LEARN TO BE FLUENT IN THE GEORDIE LANGUAGE IT 'S HERE

GEORDIELAND

The region of Northern England centered around the Great city of Newcastle -upon-Tyne. The people are warm and friendly, The men are Real men and the gorgeous women of the north know it. The only sport that matters to us is football. Football is our life , our passion , the reason we live is to watch football . We all feel the same way. (Copyright Sean bean,sky sports.uk). Contrary to popular opinion Geordies are not Illiterate , Illegitimate , flat cap wearing hard up dole wallers who keep racing pigeons , grow leeks in there allotments and have a pet ferret down their pants . Me and Gazza are like that, but most Geordies are very intelligent , extremely well mannered, very well off with extremely god jobs , just visit the NUFC official bbs and you will see what I mean. ITS HERE

THE THINGS GEORDIES LIKE

Favorite food curry , favorite drink Beer, all kinds not just the one and only Newcastle TOON Ale. Famous geordies/Shearer /GAZZA /Beardsley /Waddle/Keegans Grandad /Bobby n Jackie Charlton /Jackie Milburn /Bobby Robson /Robson and Jerome /Bryan Robson /Alan Robson /anybody infact called Robson /Bryan Ferry /Sting /The Animals /Lindisfarne /Dire straights /One of the pet shop boys /Mike Neville /Half the cast of Aufiedersien pet /Jimmy Nail / and SIR John Hall.

Bonnie Scotland

The largest bit of the U.K. and one of the nicest bits, unless you live in Glasgow. The People are almost as friendly as the Geordies ,but due to the lack of sunlight and the strange food that they eat in the frozen north, the citizens tend to be a bit pale and spotty (Mel Gibson isn't a scot really you know). The scots still hate the English because we always beat them at soccer but they don't mind the Geordies as we give them Berwick Rangers to beat every week and Gazza to laugh at all the time. Favorite sport tossing

the caber. Favorite food Haggis wi chaps n surce. Famous Scotsmen /Kenny Dalglish /Tommy Burns /Rabbie Burns/Robbie Coltrain /Rab c Nesbit /Nessie /Sean Connery /Mel Gibson /that bloke out of wet wet wet /hey there are loads of them when you think about it .

The lakes

This area of the country is a bit like New Zealand realy, it is a mountainous barren area with more sheep than people. The only difference is that you can eat New Zealand lamb without getting radiation sickness. The radio active sheep are officially blamed on the Chernobyl nuclear disaster in Russia many years ago. Mind you Windscale or Sellafield as it is known this year is situated on the west coast of the region and is one of the biggest nuclear reprocessing plants in the world. Makes you wonder! Its a damn shame because "the lakes" is a very beautiful part of the world, spoilt by the sheep that I have already mentioned and the miserable citizens called Cumbrians. They are generally a quiet bunch that work long hours looking after their farms. They don't have much recreational time so they are not into football much .With only Carlisle, a struggling 2nd division team to support most of the Cumbrians are armchair Man U fans and are more into fell walking and sheep shagin than footy. ( A Bit like the team they support )

All Cumbrians ONLY ever eat Eggs,Ham, pork (from Yorkshire) sausage and potatoes. No lamb or beef or fruit or vedge is consumed as it may be contaminated .

There is only one cumbrian that I can think of that is famous and that is EDDY Stobbart, who's claim to fame is that he has the cleanest fleet of trucks in the country. Well do you know any other famous Cumbrians?

Smogland

After Scumland this is the smelliest part of the country. Until recently this area was infested with mutant smog monsters. However with the help of EEC aid money most of the filth has been cleaned up and it is now not as bad as it used to be. Millions has infact been spent trying to attract better quality citizens from around the globe to settle in Smogland. Among these new settlers are famous Brazilians and Italians who have been paid thousands to come to live and promote the area. However most have moved on elsewhere or will soon move. Can't blame them, if you have ever visited BORO you will know what I mean.

Favorite pastime moaning

Favorite food Roast Monkey (especially in Hartlepool)

Famous citizens Chris Rea /Reeves and Mortimer /Chubby Brown Ravanelli? Juhnino? Emerson? Branco? Uncle Festa?

Macemland

Have you have ever seen the film "Escape From New York"? This is probably the best way to describe Macemland. It is like the "New York" of the film, There is one way in (the A19) And no way out. Unless you are Kurt Russell and own a kalashnikov. Macemland is an enclave around the town of Sunderland. The citizens consist mainly of rival feuding bands of mindless morons, rogues and criminals. In an attempt to Civilize Macemland the government has spent billions building new factories on the outskirts of Macemland for the citizens to work in. Unfortunately the citizens don't want to work, so they lie empty. For recreation, a large football stadium was built, for some unknown reason they called it "The stadium of Shyte". Due to the fact that it was in Sunderland, and the money was not available to attract decent players, the once respectable Sunderland Football Club continues to slide down the football league table. Their ground like the factories will soon be empty.

MACEMS FAVORITE THINGS

 Favorite foods, anything that they can find in their neighbors dustbin. Favorite items , anything that they can find in their neighbors dustbin. Favorite drink is Vaux Water, a type of local spring water. (don't try it) Favorite pastime ,living in the past and dreaming of the good times.

Sorry MACEMS but they will NEVER return, you are doomed.

OTHER REGIONS COMING SOON

IF YOU LIVE IN ANOTHER REGION OF ENGLAND AND WOULD LIKE TO PUT YOUR FOOTY TEAM ON THE MAP OR MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO THE REGIONAL TEXT. SEND YOUR IDEAS TO riks@globalnet.co.uk