4th March 2000, Newcastle 0 Chelsea 1 , Report by ITK, our man at the BBC

Boo hoo&ldots;weep and wail&ldots;&ldots;gnashing of teeth&ldots;..the lads fall to there first home defeat under the stewardship of Bobby Robson losing 1-0 to Chelsea

Having to go to work for this one, but hopeful of having the Match of the Day pictures to satisfy my need for all thing Newcastle, but alas, a phone call at 2.40 fails to get me the pictures until just before half time. They were doing something important, at work and everyone was busy so didn’t have time to plug the feed in. Ah well&ldots;&ldots;thinks I, the very least I can do listen to the webcast from the official site &ldots;.oh&ldots;.my&ldots;.god&ldots;.it is absolute dross. Whoever the guy is that does the commentary, sounds as if he's been working as an extra in Heartbeat or Emmerdale farm. His accent is repulsive and he has no idea about how to convey a football match to the tuned in fans around the globe.

Newcastle had omitted Gallacher from the squad, who apparently had an injury and had opted to go for a back 3. "With Elder, Goma and Marcelino still all injured" he informs us that "Newcastle will start with a back three of Owie, Dabitass and Oooze" .

The full team lined up as .

What you could understand of the first half sounded as if it was fairly balanced and pretty much end to end stuff but without the edge needed. Then in the 22nd minute, a Jody Morris cross was met but Gustav Poyet and the visitors were 1-0 to the good.

It would be unfair to suggest that Chelsea had got what they went to St James Park for by then, but for the rest of the first half they seemed to be content to sit on the lead.

Newcastle pulled Barton back to right back, pushed Domi to the left of midfield and played a traditional 4 -4- 2 for the remainder of the game. Despite the players being more comfortable in this formation, they failed to get the ball past the giant 6 ft 6" Ed de Goey. half time and pictures were restored.

Those supporters all over the world who were listening to the webcast were then given the best half time entertainment I have heard in a long time. The commentator left the microphone open, and when he had been to the toilet, picked up his cup of tea and returned to the Press Box, we were treated to one end of his phone call home to his wife&ldots;&ldots;.well we assume it was his wife&ldots;&ldots;otherwise he is intending to do some very saucy things with someone else’s wife&ldots;.but probably best to leave it at that point. (Note from Rik... If you want a copy of the tape, please enclose a large stamped addressed envelope to "Rik's Promotions" along with a cheque for £9.99, or £19.99 if you would prefer it without the promotional " I subscribe to spanking monthly" sticker on the front)

The second half saw Solano replace Domi, whose muscles had apparently seized up. The dodgy webcast could now be switched off. as the game commenced under cloudy skies, and the football on the field just about mirrored that&ldots;&ldots;The Toon were kicking toward the Gallowgate end in the second half, and a few slick passes and some good interchange down the left between Dyer and Ferguson and the ball was in the penalty area, giving the impression that the Toon were fired up for the second half, but like so many attacks in the first half, and the start of a number in the second half, the final ball just did not have the quality to unlock the Chelsea defence.

The lads knocked the ball around nicely, they had some good one touch passes, they were running off the ball nicely for each other, they missed past the left hand post, they missed past the right hand post, they missed just over the bar, but the ball would not go into the net and even if Chelsea had gone home midway through the second half, it is unlikely that the Toon would ever have scored.

Toon had the majority of the play in the second half, and they looked reasonably good, but there was just something missing&ldots;&ldots;..goals&ldots;.or at least one of them!

Steve Howie started and played his first full game for some months following injury and came through it looking pretty good, his one major error was falling over the ball once in the second half and almost letting Sutton in, but that aside he equipped himself fairly well.

Nolberto Solano returned from International Duty, injury and looking lighter (two weeks wages lighter) and he came on as a half time substitute for Domi who hadn’t quite sounded up with the pace in the first half.

Dyer seemed to drift in and out of the game, at times he looked as though he should be taken off and replaced with either Gavilan and Fumaca both of who were on the bench, and at other times looked Man of the Match material.

Ketsbaia came on in the 75th minute for Rob Lee, but failed to make any impact at all. His body language suggests that he has just about given up trying to get a regular first team place, and is just passing the days away until another club comes along to resurrect his career.

Sutton proved that once again that he is well worth the 10 million pound price tag he has on his head by being substituted midway through the second half, Flo replaced him.

It was difficult to tell whether the Toon were trying to lull Chelsea into a false sense of security for the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley on the 9th of April&ldots;.or whether ot was just one of those days at the office where things seem to just nit go right.

Because of the way the game was played, it was difficult to pin anyone down as Man of the Match, but if pushed I would probably go for Dabizas, who was solid in the middle of the defence.

And as for the referee, well lets be magnanimous and say he was there and probably scored a 4/10&ldots;.some of his decision belied belief, but then with our old friend Uriah Rennie as the fourth official&ldots;..is that a surprise.

Next week things will be different, It's ONLY Watford, and a hat full of goals beckon.

Report from ITK,

Links to reports from previous home games ARE HERE

Links to reports of all AWAY games ARE HERE