7am, THE BIGGER BREAKFAST
Dieting the Brian Kidd way.
9am, BLUE PETER
What is that racist pig Schmeichel actually saying when he's shouting
at his defenders?
11.30am, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE
Teddy Sheringham on filling Cantona's shoes.
12.30pm, EVERY SECOND COUNTS
Quiz with Alex Ferguson and his famous stopwatch.
A look at cross-town rivals City.
2.30pm, THE GREAT ANTIQUES HUNT (is that a spelling error... ?)
Bryan Robson explains what possessed him to sign Gary Pallister.
3.30pm, ANIMAL HOSPITAL
Rolf Harris looks at how the surgeons helped Roy Keane back to full fitness.
4pm, CHANGING ROOMS
David Beckham talks about the one he sat in for most of the second
half against Argentina.
5pm, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LIKELY LADS?
Ben Thornley, Graeme Hogg and other 'new George Bests? reveal all
about their exciting new careers at Accrington Stanley.
5.30pm, WESTCOUNTRY LIVE
United's traditional fan base have their say.
6pm, BOBBY CHARLTON'S FOOTBALL SCRAPBOOK
7pm, GARRY BIRTLES' FOOTBALL SCRAPHEAP
Highlights of United in the Champions League knock-out stages, with
Andy Cole, Teddy Sheringham and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.
8.30pm, THE VANISHING MAN
Jaap Stam talks us through his Charity Shield performance.
9pm, RED DWARF
The Paul Scholes story.
9.30pm, MEN BEHAVING BADLY
Starring Norman Whiteside and Paul McGrath, with guest appearance by
10pm, QUESTION TIME WITH ALEX FERGUSON
10.01pm, WINNER TAKES ALL
A big-hearted tribute to Arsenal's 1997-98 season.
11pm, RED NOSE DAY SPECIAL
More laughs with Peter Schmeichel.
Exclusive - Day 2 schedule
11:00 HOW DO THEY DO THAT?
More seemingly impossible feats explained: How to win the European
Cup, how to lose graciously, how to stop your arm shooting up when
the ball goes out of play.
12:00 KIDS' HOUR:
12:00 - SPOT - Nicky Butt on skincare.
12:15 - SUPERTED - The number 10 doesn't want to let the fans down
again, but can he regain his superpowers before the new season starts?
12:30 - THE FLINTSTONES - Neanderthal fun with Roy Keane and David Beckham.
13:00 FILM: I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE David Beckham's
14:30 THE BOOK PROGRAMME
Alex Ferguson talks about his favourite reads of last season,
starting with Great Expectations and ending up with Paradise Lost.
15:30 THE TRAVEL SHOW
A must for all fans this week as we show you how to get to Manchester.
16:00 TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED
Keane makes a clean tackle, Neville confesses to touching the ball
last before it went out and nobody appeals for a penalty when Cole is
tackled in the box.
What are your rights if you spend a fortune on something that doesn't
do the job it was intended for? Anne Robinson takes Poborski and
Cruyff back to the shop. PLUS have you been overcharged for the new
Second Class Stam?
17:30 CAN'T SHOOT, WON'T SHOOT
Today's celebrity guests are Andy Cole and Teddy Sheringham.
18:00 ROUGH JUSTICE
A special report on a throw-in that the referee gave the wrong way in
last season's home match against Arsenal. (continues tomorrow)
19:00 TOP GEAR
Teenage fans show off their favourite replica shirts. (1 of 10)
19:30 WIN, LOSE OR DRAW
Quiz. Alex Ferguson and his team take on all comers at Old Trafford.
(Subsequent programmes may be subject to delay/cancellation in the
event that Man U are losing or drawing after 30 minutes and need
additional time to catch up/scrape a victory.).
20:00 FILM: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
Paul Scholes, Andy Cole and Phil Neville have an adventure.
A look at some of the teams United have failed to beat in their quest
for European Champions League glory. This week: Galatasaray.
22:30 WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
A petulant Fergie discusses a throw-in decision with the referee's assistant