Whilst the rest of the country watched a programme about slow moving, extict, dull, ponderous creatures who once ruled the world, and everyone else watched the BBC Mockumentary about dinosaurs, Steph, Jon, Jonno and Softie went to jolly Kingston Park to watch the resorves take on the mighty Blackburn Rovers. Little did we know that the reason we were not rewarded with a sight of Pistone was that Sandro was off at Old Trafford for Taggart’s aforementioned testimonial. I suppose “Rest of the World” ought to include some crap players since the majority of the World’s players aren’t that wonderful, but even so.   There was a small tussle in the car park as I tried to restrain Jon from doing something he would later regret until Steph assured me that I had misheard him when he remarked, “I’d best get me woolly out”. He was of course referring to the legendary cold at Kingston Park that returned with a vengeance last night. I wasn’t the only one who was forced into donning a woolen millinery item. Equally amusing was the fact that some kind soul had sabotaged Pete Dong in the sound booth who was thus unable to regale us with his crappy music when we scored or invite us all to spend money at the club shop etc. 1-0 to the eardrums. Blackburn fielded nobody of any note, although their number 9, Ryan Baldaccino was pretty useful and their keeper, Anthony Williams pulled off some fine saves (he had to). The team sheet showed us what we had all been expecting, the removal of the liberal sprinkling of first teamers we had seen against Barnsley, and the appearance of a couple of debutantes. The Toon lined up as: Karelse Arnison S Caldwell G Caldwell Griffin Kerr Cominelli (Argentinian) Antunes (aka Formica - Brazillian) Brady Coppinger Ameobi (Nigerian promoted from Juniors for the night)   The subs were:   Green, Martin, Talbot, Morris (who?) and Walker   Michael Morris was included instead of Paul Knight. We know this since somebody had laboriously crossed out Paul Knight and written in Michael Morris in blue biro on the thousands of team sheets distributed. May I be the first to tell the club that putting the teamsheets back through a photo copier with a crossing out and the right name carefully placed on a blank sheet would have done this admirably. No doubt they would inform me that it’s cheaper to pay Doris a fiver to do it in biro since that seems to be the only consideration just now. They have also informed everyone that the next home fixture at KP is against Man Utd on 9th November, which is sadly untrue, since that match will be at SJP. If they wish to hire a new administrator at the club I am open to offers. The match started with a real flourish and kept the pace up throughout. We spent quite a bit of the first half on the back foot until Coppinger hit them on the break and stormed into the box before being callously tripped as he shaped to shoot. Penalty! Up stepped young Coppy and whacked it past the keeper to do that stylish circuit of the back of the neck where it rolls right round both corners and out again. Jonno dryly remarked that it was clever of him to choose to knock it in off the post. 20 minutes in Gibbo appeared in typical gloryhunter fashion; waiting until we were a goal up before arriving. He jibbed in at the turnstiles, since Jonno had his ticket, and since I cannot see how he could possibly have got in UNDER the turnstiles, I can only assume he stepped OVER them. Speaking of tall people, Ameobi could probably see eye to eye with Big Dunc and showed some incredible skill on the ball. “He’s wor Kanu,” was a remark from our neighbours who were clearly impressed. Still, height wasn’t a noticeable feature in two of players who really shone last night. Brian Kerr was a whirlwind on the right wing who seemed to be able to cut through his opposite numbers at will and put in some wonderful centres. Coppinger was again quite outstanding displaying a close control that I haven’t seen bettered by anyone in the first team and finishing as lethal as you could ask for. He’s lightning-fast and times his runs to perfection and can only possibly be held back through being a short-arse. He tore through their defence, sidestepped a lunging tackle and hammered home his second to rapturous applause. Bobby Robson immediately retired from his seat in the stand alongside Freedie Shepherd to use his mobile - hope it’s to book him a place on the team bus tonight. Our third goal was such a beauty that I can only say that it’s a scandal that the camera crews and press photographers who swarmed down to see us play Barnsley didn’t turn up to catch this one. I don’t think a football has been kicked this hard since Shearer’s free kick against Leicester during THAT comeback. It was the Brazillian lad, Fumaca, who had been struggling along with Cominelli to cope with the frantic pace of the game, though they had both periodically provided little touches of pure class. He ran in from 30 yards out as a ball deflected out of a crowd of players at a corner and belted it. It was in the back of the net before anyone could move. Superb. Absolutely top drawer. He immediately started leaping around like a World Cup star (which might suggest he isn’t used to doing this every week, so chequebook holder take note!). He made a beeline for Tommy Craig and was clearly expecting to leap into his arms as they do in Serie A, until he caught the coach’s eye and slowed down to a walk and merely shook his hand. Very British; he’ll do. Don’t let 3-0 fool you, mind, they broke through several times and were only prevented from scoring by their own inept shooting. Karelse pulled off some good saves and plucked the high balls off foreheads with ease. His outstanding save, however was slightly spoiled by him knocking it to the feet of a Blackburn player who duly obliged by getting his feet in a knot so that Karelse could tidy up. The ref also helped out. He failed to award them a blatant penalty as we all looked at the floor in extreme embarrassment as their players went supernova. Despite this wondefully partizan act, Mr Sygmuta will never reach the premiership, however, since he was heard to clearly tell the players the reasons for all his decisions and warn them to wait for the whistle before taking free kicks. Since it is expected to give scores for these things: Karelse - 7: coped ably with what he was given to do but nothing extraordinary (maybe merits an 8 for not being Perez) Arnison - 6:Captain for the day, quick to hand out bollockings but was far from perfect himself Griffin - 7: some good runs, but not much gas in the tank, definitely still recovering. Looked comfortable on the left where he played for Stoke. S & G Caldwell - 6: hard to tell apart and moved and communicated well together (as you’d hope with brothers) but were caught napping a few times and would have been punished by a better team Antunes - 8: would have been a 7 without that wonder goal Cominelli - 7: has trouble with the pace but looks better and better as the opposition tire, a bit crap in the air but would make a good sub in place of McClen as he likes to get his foot in rather than spend his time on sunbeds and perming his hair Coppinger - 10: if he doesn’t make the first team I shall eat my hat Ameobi - 8: tied up 2 Blackburn players throughout which gave Coppy the freedom to score; hope his family in the stand were ok with the cold! Brady - 7: prefers to be on the right for crossing but cut inside for some useful runs Not many answers for the Birmingham lineup, then, except that Robinson will definitely appear and Charvet should feature with Beharral, Hughes, Marcy, Goma and Dabs all available for central defence slots. Might go 3 at the back with the lack of midfielders as we have the numbers for it. Whatever, the renaissance at the club seems to be deep rooted and whatever YBR chooses is fine by me.