Rahzhdeestvo Dehreevah or The Things You'll Do For A Bottle Of Vodka

By Liz and Lynne

Christmas spirits were rising in the Enterprise Rec room. Except for one small corner, where a dark cloud of depression hung above a certain ensign who sat alone, gazing forlornly through the steam from the mug of tea before him, at the planet they were currently orbiting. Uhura looked across the room at him for the hundredth time before poking Sulu in the ribs.

"What's the matter with Chekov? He barely spoke all shift, now he's just sitting there."

"Homesick" Sulu said dissmissively, "you know... first Christmas away from Earth. No mail from home out here, so no Russian treats to help him celebrate, just us boring lot. Oh," he added as an after thought, "and he's run out of Vodka." He gave her a sidelong glance. "Think you can get that little old lady from Leningrad to pop something in his Christmas stocking?"

"Unless I can get a Christmas tree for the captain's reception tomorrow night there'll be no Christmas, let alone stockings, for any of us." She sighed dramatically,. "And I really wanted to spend my shoreleave shopping. They have the most wonderful boutiques down there that are bound to have just what I want for the engineering party. No chance of getting around them now. Where the hell do I get a tree around here?"

"Chekov'll get you one, if you ask him. He'll do anything for you."

"Hmm, I think you're exaggerating but... you said he'd run out of Vodka? Sulu, you're a genius," she said, bestowing a kiss on her companion's cheek. Giving him a wink she stood and walked over to the gloomy ensign.

"Mind if I join you, Pavel?"

Chekov shrugged. "If you like," he said miserably, not looking up from his tea cup. "I'm not very good company."

"Then why come to the Rec room?" Uhura asked, curious.

"I thought it might make me feel better, but it doesn't. It's just the same as always, except perhaps louder."

"Well, if you help me out, Sugah, I may just know a way of taking your mind off your Christmas blues."

"What?" he asked doubtfully.

"Vodka, real, unreplicated, Russian vodka. One hundred percent authentic Pertsovka." She smiled as he licked his lips and looked at her in disbelief.

"Where did you get it?"

"Oh, I never reveal my sources, Pavel. So," she paused, "you'll do it?"

"Do what?" he asked suspiciously.

"I need a Christmas tree. It has to be a real one, no replicated varieties. Oh, say about five to six feet tall and I need it by 1700 tomorrow."

"Where can I get a tree from by tomorrow?"

"Not my problem, Pavel. If you want the vodka, you'll think of something. Consider it part of your training - an initiative test." She gave him a smile. "Mister Spock didn't have any problems last year."

"Mister Spock?" Chekov's eyes widened. "How did he..?" Uhura shook her head.

"I'm not sure, and I wasn't about to ask. He did say that the computer and transporter facilities were most advantageous in his quest."

****

As Kirk beamed back on board the following day, after several hours of trade negotiations and talks, he found Uhura in the transporter room all ready to head shoreside for what looked like some serious shopping which did not include Christmas trees.

"How are the arrangements for the reception going, Lieutenant?" he asked. "It's vital that everything goes smoothly and we put on a good show."

"It's all in hand, Captain"

"And the tree?"

"Won't be a problem." She smiled as she stepped onto the transporter platform. The tree was more for the crew's moral and a certain starship captain's childlike delight in all the trappings of a traditional earth Christmas, than for the ambassador of the planet they orbited.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down, Uhura." Kirk said confidently as he left the room.

"I hope you're right," she muttered under her breath, having a brief moment of doubt about her challenge to Chekov. 'Nah, he won't let me down,' she thought and smiled at the memory of the ensign on the bridge earlier, seated at Spock's station muttering to himself as he listened to the data the computer reeled off to him.

"John, has Pavel Chekov mentioned anything about beaming down to the planet today?" she asked the transporter technician.

"Sorry, Nyota," he answered. "I've not seen him. He is down for shoreleave; I can look up when if you like?"

"No it's okay."

****

The object of her inquiries was at that moment sitting at his station on the bridge contemplating the information he'd obtained and wondering how to persuade Kevin Riley to swap shoreleave times with him. As things stood he wasn't due to beam down until 1500 which would only leave him two hours to make his acquisition.

"So," asked Sulu. "Did you take her up on it?"

"Take who up on what?" Chekov replied.

"Uhura, Christmas tree, vodka?"

"I have not yet decided. It is a very difficult task. Trees are protected on Cain. You cannot just go out and buy one or cut one down."

"Hmm, thought it'd be too much for a kid like you."

"We Russians are very resourceful. I will get Lieutenant Uhura her tree," Chekov stated firmly.

"Big words, kid," Sulu laughed.

"You want to bet me too?" Chekov asked darkly, his cheeks flushing.

"Sure, it'll be like taking candy from a baby. What do I get when you admit defeat?"

"I don't know, what do you want?"

Sulu pretended to think for a moment. "You cover my shifts over the holiday period," he said with a smile at the thought of the free time this would enable him to have with a certain new ensign in astrophysics. "And you? I don't have Uhura's contacts but ..."

"Caviar," the Russian said immediately, that being the one thing he could think of that Sulu might find difficult to get. "Non replicated. Is it a deal?"

"Sure," replied Sulu holding out his hand.

****

Having successfully managed to persuade Riley that an evening on Cain sampling their hospitality would be far more enjoyable than an afternoon, when most of the local hostelries would be closed, Chekov took his place on the transporter platform amid the other crewmembers taking advantage of the unexpected shoreleave for last minute Christmas shopping and so on.

He materialised in a fairly busy market area and he looked about him with interest. The Cainans bustled around intent on their own shopping, reminding Pavel of markets at home. Wandering around the market stalls he saw several kinds of trees that would serve as a centre piece for the Christmas festivities of which the official reception was part. He also saw several native Cainans carrying away trees in pots which they had obviously purchased locally. With what he hoped was a confident smile on his face, he checked his translator was turned on and functioning properly and approached the stall holder who seemed to have a good selection of trees.

"Excuse me," he began, "I would like a tree, but I know I can't just buy one... Could you help me please?"

The trader laughed, his rubbery features breaking into some resemblance of a human grin.

"You think I can afford to give them away, offworlder?"

"Oh no sir" Chekov said seriously "I'd just like to know how to obtain one, please."

"You trade for it, boy. Trees are important to us, something to be treasured and nurtured and cared for. Will you care for your tree?"

"Yes, sir."

"The item you trade must be of value to you, not expensive necessarily, but important to you to make sure you value your acquisition. Do you have such an item?"

Chekov stood and thought for a while. Uhura needed a tree and a tree she would have. He thought a great deal of the communications officer, she had been very good to Pavel and had looked out for him during his first few awkward weeks on the Enterprise. Sulu had been right in his assumption that if she had just asked him to get her a tree he would have, even without the incentive of the vodka. It was Christmas and she was his friend. He made a decision.

"Will you wait for me? I won't be long, I just have to go and get something."

The stallholder agreed and set a tree to one side for the ensign. Chekov beamed back to the ship and almost ran to his quarters skidding to a halt inside them by his bunk. On the wall above hung a blue and white plate, a present from his mamasha. It depicted a sleigh, pulled by a single plumed horse, driven by a man in national dress. It had been in his family for years and as a child he remembered it hanging on the wall of his grandmother's house. He and his cousins had made up stories about who the man was and where he was going. He was sure that the plate held little monetary value, but it was a piece of home. Sending a mental apology to his mama he carefully lifted it down, wrapped it in a cloth and hurried back to the market.

****

The reception was in full swing, the speeches and official business concluded and the participants now intent on enjoying the festivities. One corner of the room was dominated by the six foot high purple conifer type tree festooned in baubles, lights and tinsel. Sulu and Uhura sat soaking up the atmosphere, she, looking wonderful in the elegant evening gown she'd bought in a little bazaar and Sulu squinting a little drunkenly at the tree and bemoaning the cancellation of the date he'd made for the following day with the ensign in astrophysics.

"I was so sure he'd luck out," he said. "Anyway who ever heard of a purple Christmas tree," he pouted.

"I think it's pretty. I wonder how he got it," she mused, looking across at Chekov who was vainly trying to look as if he was enjoying himself.

"Uhura," said Kirk, coming up behind them with one of the diplomats from Cain. "I just wanted to congratulate you." He indicated the trimmings. "It's a great party."

"Indeed," said his companion. "I have never seen one of our trees decorated in such a fashion."

Uhura muttered her thanks at their praise but felt compelled to admit that it was in fact Chekov who had obtained the tree.

"I must commend him on his ingenuity," said Kirk as the Cainan moved on.

"So must I, as soon as I figure out how he did it," answered Uhura.

"A simple matter." Both lieutenants jumped at Spock's voice as he joined them. "Ensign Chekov must have traded something of personnel value, since that is the only way to obtain a tree."

"Oh, excuse me, Captain, Mister Spock. Come on, Sulu." She dragged Sulu to his feet and out of the Rec room.

"Uhura!" he protested. "What are you doing?"

"You heard Mister Spock, something of personnel value. I've got to find out what it was and get it back."

"Why? How? Nobody forced him to give it away, Nyota."

"I did. Well I feel I did," she elaborated at Sulu's look. "He did it for me."

"He did it for a bottle of vodka and a tin of caviar," sighed Sulu following her down the corridor.

"You're wrong, he did it for me, Hikaru, and it must have been something he brought from home, he hasn't had time to build up a collection of souvenirs," she said over her shoulder at him.

"I like collecting," he said defensively. "So how do we find out what it was?" He stopped and stared at her, suddenly guessing her thoughts. "Oh no. No. No way."

"Fine, I'll go on my own then."

****

A few minutes later they stood in Chekov's quarters, Sulu hovering nervously at Uhura's side.

"This is really against regulations" he whispered

"Sssh, who's to know? Anyway it's in a good cause." She looked around the room and almost missed the faint mark left on the wall by the missing plate. "Oh Pavel," she sighed, secretly pleased that she could mean so much to the young Russian.

"What?" asked Sulu irritably

"Nothing, come on. I know what he traded, now we just need to get it back."

****

Chekov headed back to his cabin early from the reception. He'd left as soon as the captain had finished introducing the delegates around. He'd noticed Sulu and Uhura leave much earlier, as soon as the captain had finished speaking to them and wished he'd had an excuse to leave that soon. he felt so guilty about the plate, as if he'd been somehow disloyal to his parents, yet seeing Uhura's pleasure at the tree had felt good. God, how he missed home, missed his family, the snow and childish excitement of waking up Christmas morning to presents. No gifts this year. Actual physical parcels could take months to catch up with them, so Sulu said. Oh, he'd had sub-space messages but it just wasn't the same. Even at the Academy he'd had parcels, been able to talk face to face with his parents. Not even bothering to undress he threw himself on his bunk and fell into a restless sleep filled with horse drawn sleighs pulling purple trees.

He woke the next morning feeling unrested and looked down at his crumpled and creased dress uniform in disgust. Swinging his legs to the floor he noticed something on the end of his bed, that had not been there the night before. It was a red fur stocking. Curiously he picked it up, shaking the contents out onto the covers. Three prettily wrapped parcels fell out. He opened the first, a can of caviar and a slight smile crossed his face. The second was a bottle of real, unreplicated one hundred percent authentic Pertsovka and his smile widened. He picked up the third parcel, puzzled by its presence, and turned it over in his hands before opening the wrapping. It was his plate, the blue and white plate. Delight warred with amazement as he wondered how on earth Uhura had found out, and how she had got it back. His smile became a full fledged grin as he hung it back on the wall above his bunk then headed for the shower whistling Jingle Bells. It wasn't home but it wasn't such a bad place to spend Christmas either.

THE END