Deconversion stories from Biblical Errancy
DB
Letter #43 from DB of Ontario, California
Dear Dennis. BIBLICAL ERRANCY has been very helpful to me. I just subscribed last month, bought your back issues, and devoured them all. I find I don't tire of re-reading them either, especially when I need ammunition. I have passed your address on to many interested people. Two observation. First, you mentioned that, never having been a Christian could be an advantage to your perspective. Perhaps you are right. Yet I feel that the fact that I was a good Christian for many years gives me a certain insight into how the religious mind works. I am no longer a Christian. My converion from faith was painful and slow, and I think I have learned some things about why religion is so powerful. Religious faith is an extremely powerful thing: It can dominate one's whole world view, one's total frame of mind, and one's ability to reason correctly. I was raised in a good Christian home. I had a positive and fulfilling Christian life. I felt fortunate to have been born into the truth. In fact, I decided it was worth a life commitment. I went to bible college, majored in Religion/Philosophy, became ordained to the ministry, spent two years in missionary work, a few more years in full-time evangelism and went on to write Christian music which has been published by various Christian companies and is still reaching the around world. I used to be very proud of my work. I didn't feel oppressed or restricted. I felt a total freedom of life. I prayed daily, saw answers to prayer, saw people healed (once by my own pronouncement), was responsible for the conversion of literally hundreds of people to Jesus Christ, and motivated many young persons to consider full time Christian service. There is a large number of Christian workers who consider me largely instrumental in their encouragement to become ministers. I liked my Christian life. It had purpose, fun, travel, certain prestige, and most of all, the knowledge of being in the center of God's will, absolute truth.
But those days are gone. I have changed my mind. I can't tell the whole story here, but I can say that it was a difficult transformation. My whole frame of reality had to be restructured. The whole fabric of existence seeemed to tear to shreds. Yet it was a very positive experience, motivated by reason and nothing else. I often grieve for my former life, for the comforts and reassurance of my prior beliefs. Most of my Christian friends and relatives (which are many) can't seem to grasp what has happened to me. They miss the point. They try to point their finger at some underlying reason why I should "stray." They suggest pride, disappointment, guilt, bitterness, attacks by Satan, and various other inventions. They never want to face the rational issues I raised, but instead want to find a way out through some "hidden" motivation on my part. I can't possibly be correct, they assume; so there must be some little sin hiding somewhere that, if we could find it, should be excised. But I understand them! I used to do the same thing! No amount of reasoning would have convinced me of the fallacy of Christianity, at the same time. Some people try to say I was never really a Christian or I would not have given up. If I had "really known God" personally, then it would be impossible to reject him. But I believe I did know him. And my life manifested the fruits of Christianity for 17 years. I wasn't the greatest Christian who ever lived, but I was no slouch. The Bible says by Their fruits you shall know them. If I wasn't a Christian, then no one is. One of the hardest things now is not to be taken seriously. Before, I was highly respected--now I am pitied. You would think that my experience would be central to the issues, yet I am not even put on trial--I am put on prayer lists. Well, not totally. There are a few Christian out there who are not afraid to face issues, but they are rare individuals. But my point is that I have put Christianity and Bible to the test, and they didn't hold up. Not without the props of blind faith.... I guess what I am trying to say that there is hope. If it happened to me, it can happen to others. It was hard, but I managed to reason my way up and out of a very strong faith, all the while resisting. If I had been presented with your publication three years ago, I probably would not have read more than a couple of sentences before burning it. Now I keep them in a special file.
Letter #61 from DB of Ontario, California
(In letter #43 in May 1984 issue DB described his evolution away from God and was criticized by GLF in Letter #50 in the July Issue--Ed.). It's your fault! GLF's confusion (letter #50) probably comes from a typo you made in reproducing my letter #43. My original letter has the sentence, "But I believed I did know him." You omitted the "d" in the "believed" which changes to the present tense. As it stands, I would agree with GLF that the statement appears contradictory. I do not presently believe that I did know God personally, but I did at one time hold such a belief. My point was to show how a belief can bias one's interpretation of the Bible. My former beliefs were very strong, but false nonetheless. Perhaps GLF presently believes he-she has a special relationship with God and can not conceive of ever rejecting something so precious. Or perhaps he is afraid to admit that my defection from Christianity touches that close to home. I often hear from concerned friends, "If you had really known God you never would have rejected him." Or "Satan has led you astrayfrom your first love." At one time in my life I did sincerely believe that I knew God personally; but now I can see where I was experiencing a common delusion bolstered by irrational acceptance of ancient, absurd, and contradictory superstitious documents, the Bible. Most of my Christian friends try to ignore the facts of Biblical errancy. Instead, they try to attack my through psychological intimidations and emotional appeals. It would be interesting to hear how GLF responds to some of the specific textual problems presented in BE.
Editor's Response to Letter #61
Dear DB. Please accept my apology for leaving the "d" off of "believed." I thought you inserted it accidentally.
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