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From:Ben
Sent: 29 June 2001 21:56
Subject: Leaving Christianity Web Site
Dear Steve,
Thank you very much for your time and effort
in producing and
maintaining the aforementioned site. My wife and I are in
the process of
leaving our church (seventh-day adventist) for many of the
same reasons you
rejected Christianity. Both of our families remain in the
church, and likely
will not understand or approve of our decision. As our
church is a
proselytising church, I've seen the struggle new members have had
in dealing
with their families who do not accept their conversion. I realise
we will
have a similar struggle with respect to our "deconversion". The
difference
is that whereas the Xian convert can lean on his newfound "church
family"
for support, the ex-Xian has nowhere to go. My atheist/agnostic
business
partners were all raised as secular Jews, non-practising Catholics,
or
agnostics. They don't see what the big deal is about leaving a church
and
why I'm struggling with it. Most of my friends are from my church, and
due
to the evangelical charater, all social events organised by the church
are
designed to "win back" errant former members. I am thus somewhat
cut-off
from my social circle, with nothing to replace it but my conviction
that I
cannot continue living a lie. Your site has given me much food for
thought,
has helped focus my thinking and has been both an intellectual
challenge and
refuge. When I was growing up, we were told that once one knows
the "Truth"
there is nowhere else to turn, and if one rejects it, one will
hit rock
bottom. We were told that those who left the church still believed
that it
taught the truth, and that these "apostates" or "back sliders"
were
knowingly rejecting the living god. Most of the church members
blindly
followed its teachings. Many of the young people fiercely questioned
the
church's teachings on behaviour such as dress, worship-style, modern
music,
cinema going, politics, sabbath observance, etc., but none seemed
inclined
to raise the big question as to whether or not the entire
theistic
world-view makes sense and can be justified. I knew of no serious
and
committed Xian who left Christianity on intellectual grounds. Usually
the
former member left because of a personality conflict, or because he got
into
a fight with the pastor, elder or deacon, or he wanted to divorce his
wife
to run off with his secretary and the church didn't approve. If the
member
left for "intellectual" reasons, it was to join another Xian
denomination.
We were taught that atheists were ignorant and rebellious, who
don't want to
follow any rules. I on the other hand, was sincere and
studious. And through
more and more bible study, I came to reject the bible.
I thought I was the
only one. I'm glad I reached my decision based solely on
bible study and not
on atheist materials. It gives me the peace of mind that
I am not under
"undue influence". Your site and others though have given me
comfort in that
I am not alone.
Ben
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