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----- Original Message -----
To: Michael Strezinski
Sent: 16 January 2000 20:03
Subject: Re: Footprints
Hello Mike,
Thank you for your email. Your remarks are
similar to some that I have
received before and I will try and make myself
clearer both in this email and
by making an adjustment to my story soon.
Also, don't worry - I'm not
interested in confrontation or debate either,
just communication. I've also
just come to the end of a long debate and I've
got a bit of debate
exhaustion!
If you read my site carefully you will
see that I did not have any
significant bad experiences of Christianity when
I was a Christian. I think
that is an important point that I make a few times
in my site. Neither was
I a believer in hell or noticed that much hell-belief
in the Christians
around me for the vast majority of my time as a Christian.
So I really
don't have a sour reaction that you suspect. I did worry that
the
concept exists at all within Christianity though, but even if it did
not,
I still would have left Christianity due to the material I read and
the
internal problems and concepts I saw within Christian theology.
I
have only a few stories from people who did have really bad
experiences.
There was a message on the "ex-tian" (i.e. ex-Christian) mailing
list from
someone who was surprised that so many of us had good experiences,
as she
didn't. So I think leaving Christianity due to a bad experience or
disgust at
a certain preacher etc, although it happens, is relatively rare.
It is
certainly not why I left, too.
Others may think I did not
understand the problems with Christianity
properly and of course there is
much debate all over the Internet about
whether these invalidate Christianity
or not. This is not something I wish
to get into with you, rather just
explain that my reasons for leaving were
not as you suggested.
I would
also like to point out that I cannot believe things out of "choice."
I can
only believe things that convince me - and after considerable research
and
thinking, Christianity no longer convinced me that it is true, but rather
I
became convinced that it was not true. I can assure you that it was a
moment
of great shock and sadness for me initially, and something that very
few
Christians imagine will (or even could) happen to them. However, it was
not
possible to consciously will myself to believe something which
became
untenable. As I mention on my site, I then became surprised to find
that an
alternative world-view, without Christianity, was so enriching,
which
certainly wasn't what I was expecting.
Also I don't categorise
all of Christianity as shallow. I have many Christian
friends who I get on
with very well and like immensely. I certainly hope I am
not a religious
"racist". I go to dinner with my Christian friends and we
play with each
others' children, exchange gifts, go to the pub etc, all the
usual friendly
stuff. You will see that the first site I link to in my main
links section is
the Ontario Consultants on religious tolerance. I also
still occasionally
read the likes of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Thomas
Merton for their general
thoughts and thoughtfulness.
On my site, I am not trying to upset
Christians, although I will engage in
dialogue if asked and speak frankly
because otherwise it seems like
censorship of thought. Mostly though, I am
trying to describe what it
is like to leave Christianity and why people do.
I'm sure if you read
my writings you will get a better impression of my true
feelings which
are not the way you have characterised them.
I am sorry
if my site upset you in some way. I have tried very carefully
to be fair on
my site which is a lot less scornful than some of the other
sites critical of
Christianity that you may find.
All my writings can be found via the
links that you can find in the "Part 1"
section just after the preface, the
rest are external links.
Thanks for your question, it is a frequently
asked one and so I have answered
with a moderately full reply so that I can
refer people to it in the future.
In summary, it was mainly reading of
psychology, comparative religion,
history and thinking through some knotty
problems that lead to my
deconversion, not a bad experience.
Best
wishes,
Steve
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Leaving Christianity (hundreds of
deconversion stories):
www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~slocks/decon.html
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