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----- Original Message -----
From:Nancy
Sent: 18 December 2001 01:15
Subject: Intrigued
Hello Steve, I have gone over your website to a
large extent. I must say I feel compeled to write, not to reiterate others, but
to talk to you and ask you a few questions.
I too went to church somewhat as a
child. My dad grew up a lutheran. He took catechism etc. My mother was a
so-called pagan. (grin) Anyway, my dad never took us to church. In fact, he
criticized the Bible. He said it was full of contradictions. But as a kid, I
went to vacation Bible school with other kids in the neighborhood.But I never
stayed in the church. As I grew, I came to believe that there was more to life,
than just being here one day and being gone the next. And I truly didn't see any
factual reason to believe I was nothing more than a glorified monkey! So I
pondered the meaning of life, looking into various areas where I might find
truth. This took me to readings by Frued, studying astrology, the occult, white
witchcraft, psychic phenomena, ufo's, you name it I tried it. In fact I got very
involved with mediums. I can honestly tell you I saw and witnessed through
mediums, enough to be convinced of a spirit world. I burned candles to the
spirits and my dog would howl. I introduced others to the psychic world and they
were amazed as I was. It's amazing that the only thing I didn't go back and try
was the church. My dad had showed me enough of the discrepency to prove the
Bible false. While still involved with my own God and my own personal view of
life, a Christian came to me and my husband and told us of our need for a
Savior. Of course, we were humored by this. But we let them tells us this for a
week before we said we'd heard enough about the flood, Satan, salvation, and the
fall of man. I gave my own opinions of the Bible, which to me was a fairy tale
and believed that no loving God would do the things or allow the things the
Bible talked about. For the next 20 years I was perfectly content in my belief
system. It worked for me. I was a generous, compassionate, funloving lady who
had no enemies.
Or so I thought I had no enemies. I raised 2
sons. In my 40's I started having depression and anxiety.
I didn't understand it. I'd never had it before.
I hid it well untill I became agoraphobic and lost weight rapidly. I was
referred to a stress reduction therapy class by my doctor. After 6 weeks, I felt
worse. I was now on medication to keep from vomiting and alternate diarrhea.I
was on antianxiety meds as well.
I was getting so depressed that my life seemed
to have no meaning. So I entered private therapy. I learned how I was a victim
of an alcoholic family and had a total lack of love while growing up. So I
stayed in therapy 2 years, still on meds, still miserable. Oh, I prayed to God
over the years and was praying for answers to my circumstances. But no answer
came. That is until one evening, all alone, I
decided to do the one thing I swore I'd never
do. I called out to God. I didn't pray for Him to help me again. No, I prayed
this prayer, " Jesus, if You are real and you are listening, then now I'm ready.
I'm willing to turn my life over to You. I've tried everything else and I'm
asking You to help me. I give my life to You." Steve, in seconds my life was
transformed. The weight of the world was lifted from me. The baggage was gone. A
complete and utter peace came over me that I'd only heard others talk
about.
Along with it was a voice telling me, "You are
home." A sudden realization that the book I'd ridiculed was telling me the
truth. If I call upon the Lord, ( I mean the seeking with your whole heart) you
will be saved. I thought, "Oh my gosh, this is real. You are real. You have been
here for me all along and I didn't believe!" Needless to say, I never took
another pill. I never had to (and I was on many). I went back to my therapist.
As I sat there, he said something about me was different. He said I
looked
different. He said, " You look good and you look
like you feel good." I said, " I do and you know why?"
He asked and I told him, " Because I found out
that somebody loves me more than anyone here on earth does and that is God!" He
sat back, crossed his arms and went, "Humph." I guess he thought, "There goes
all that money." I never went back. That has been 6 years ago. Do I tell this
story when I can? You bet! I hated God. I hated the discrepency in the Word. I
had an enemy I didn't know I had. it was God, because I was worshipping the
ruler of this world, Satan, unbeknownst to me! I now understood what sin was and
I knew I was guilty! But I knew I'd been forgiven because I had been humbled to
the point of having to call out to the Creator for mercy. I wonder how many
professing Christians have been humble before Him? Many who profess don't even
know what the born again experience is when I ask them. But I have had the
blessing of seeing others lives transformed by God through His Word in the same
way that I had. So my question to you is this. Based on your firm profession of
being a Christian, when did you receive the Holy Spirit into you, the Spirit of
truth which seals you? When were you regenerated in spirit. Can you remember a
born again experience?
Can you remember a time when you believed, not
just about Jesus, but believed on Him as God incarnate with the power to save
your soul? I ask this in earnest. You see, I did not study scripture as you did.
I had no intellectual knowledge of Him. I did come to a point however, where I
needed to trust Him as my personal Savior, not as a historical figure. So I
earnestly ask at what point in your life did you do this, that he has so
forsaken you, when my joy in Him gets sweeter every day. I wish you the best,
more than you could know. Nancy
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