by James
For 23 years I was taken in by the Christian delusion.* I took the Christian life seriously, and I took the Bible seriously -- and taking the Bible seriously was the undoing of the Delusion. Thorough and comprehensive study of the Bible opened my eyes to the falsehood of Christianity. So, in a sense, one could say the Bible set me free! More accurately, reason, applied to the Bible, set me free.
Following are letters and essays that open a window onto my departure from the Christian faith. Christians point with pride to the accusation by their enemies in Acts 17:6 (RSV) that "they have turned the world upside down." Well, when I was a Christian my world certainly was turned upside down. But when I finally admitted to myself that I knew Christianity was false, my world righted itself under my feet and sent me reeling.
My wish is that the material on this page will be of help to others who find their Christian worldview crumbling beneath their feet and no safety net in sight. It's a scary feeling when the Christian delusion finally gives way, and one finds oneself floating in the void without a way to make sense of the world any longer.
I have a word of hope for people who find themselves in this situation. There is a difficult transition period to navigate when one first leaves the faith, but there need not be a permanent fall into existential despair. Life without Christianity can be every bit as meaningful and fulfilling as life with Christianity -- many people, including myself, find life even better without Christianity, once the emotional wounds have healed over. Leaving the faith can plunge one into a sense of profound loss -- and there has indeed been a profound loss, akin the the death of a loved one in the emotional reactions it produces. But a new worldview can be built, and it can be built on a firmer foundation than the old one. It is hard work, and it takes a focused effort, but there is a fulfilling life to be reclaimed for those who are willing.
All the letters and essays here were written while I was in my transition from Christian to . . . something else, I knew not what. Perhaps by examining here the path that I took, you who are in the throes of losing your faith will be better able to discern your own path to a different life. I wish you all the best.
* Note to Liberal Christians About the Context of My Remarks:
At the time of the writings you see here, I knew only a little about the liberal Christian point of view, and that only through a conservative evangelical/fundamentalist lens. If you are a liberal Christian, and especially if you are without first-hand experience of conservative evangelicalism/fundamentalism, you will find that my remarks touch on Christian liberalism little or not at all, and that the issues I raise do not necessarily have relevance or even make sense from the liberal Christian point of view. When you see the word Christian in these writings, please understand that I am referring to conservative Christian evangelicalism/fundamentalism, which in many ways can be considered a distinctly different religion than liberal Christianity.
All readers, both liberal and conservative, should read these writings as a snapshot in time of my personal journey. These writings are a window into watershed events in my own personal journey, but they are past and done with, and my ideas continue to evolve and develop. Specifically, I have affiliated with a Unitarian Universalist church, where I enjoy the society of liberal religious people even though I consider myself irreligious. In particular, I agree with the Unitarian Universalist principle that each individual ought to be permitted a free and responsible search for meaning -- a search that may even lead other people to find genuine value in the belief system I personally have left behind. I find that I can now enjoy and appreciate the vitality of others' sincerely held beliefs without obsessing about whether they are true or not. My change of heart in this respect is due to the freedom I have to make my own way in matters of belief, a freedom made real by my breaking away from old beliefs. In this sense, my writings here can be interpreted as an adolescent-like turmoil of breaking away from the ties of dependence of a particular religious tradition. An adolescent who successfully asserts personal independence with a break from the past is free to then go forward with the development of a positive way of living, after having left the reactive rebellious period behind. Likewise with me. Maybe someday, when I understand my own experiences better, I'll feel a call to write out my new positive way of living and add it as a new chapter to this web site. -JLB, 3 March 2001
Hello, I Am a New Ex-Christian
The ex-tian
mailing list is an on-line support group for ex-Christians. This
is my letter of self-introduction to the list, briefly describing
my loss of faith and the circumstances surrounding the writing of
this letter.
The Anguish of Leaving the
Faith
Leaving the
Christian faith is hard to do, and the insidious religion can
turn the people closest to us into the ones who become the most
hurtful. Here is an exchange of letters between myself and some
close relatives at the time my loss of faith first became known
to them. I'm not hanging out dirty laundry -- this exchange
illustrates the divisiveness of religion and the turmoil it can
create even among close and otherwise amicable relatives.
An Exchange with my Former
Pastor
There
is no such thing as exit counseling from the Christian church.
Here is an exchange of letters with my former pastor, who tries
to hang on to a sheep gone astray from his flock. His religion
has left him unequal to the task, and entirely predictable in his
strategy, to boot.
Losing Faith and Keeping
Relatives
Leaving the
family faith can be hard on personal relationships with close
relatives. What is one to do when these relationships are thrown
off balance by a fundamental change in religious belief? Here are
the letters that show how I handled it.
Heat & Light: Reforging
Disrupted Relationships, Part 1
Learning
that a family member has deconverted can come as a shock to
relatives. But once the shock wears off, disrupted relationships
must be reforged. A series of letters chronicles the process in
my own case. This first set of letters lays the groundwork and
the tone for an e-mail dialogue between me and one of my
relatives.
Heat & Light: Reforging
Disrupted Relationships, Part 2
This
second set of letters is meatier than the first, and the other
relatives are brought up to date and invited to listen in to the
ongoing conversation. The way in which the conversation ends will
come as no surprise to unbelievers who have themselves insisted
that Christians support their outrageous claims.
How to Relate to Old Friends
from Church?
Leaving
the faith definitely changes the character of relationships with
old friends from church. I have no doubt that there must be many
appropriate ways to handle these. In my own case, some particular
circumstances (which shall remain unnamed) make it awkward for me
to continue active relationships with old friends from church.
Here is how I handled the situation.
Free at Last! (or, My Spiritual
Healing)
Does
one ever get over the trauma of losing faith? Perhaps not
entirely, but there definitely can be healing. A time can come
when one is able lay down the old emotional baggage associated
with the former oppressive life and begin to genuinely enjoy the
freedom of a new life without superstition and without guilt.
This is the letter I wrote to the ex-tian e-mail list when that
time came for me.
Tough Questions for the
Christian Church
The
Christian church has a lot of explaining to do if it is to be
taken seriously intellectually. Here are a few questions from a
former insider that highlight some of the contradictions,
absurdities, inconsistencies, and incoherencies of the Christian
religion. Feel free to direct unwelcome proselytizers to this
document. To get them off your back, tell them not to bring up
the subject again until they have the answers to these questions.
"Answers" to Tough
Questions for the Christian Church
The
best evidence of the intellectual bankruptcy of the Christian
religion comes from the Christians themselves. Here are links to
"answers" to my Tough Questions. If you are a
believer, you can put your awakening intellect back to sleep by
rehearsing the platitudes here. If you are a skeptic, you can
look at them for chuckles. If you are a former Christian like
myself, you can look at them and wonder in amazement how you ever
could have believed such drivel. However,
I have included a link on this page to one set of worthy answers
that I find wholly satisfactory.
Resources for
Christians Leaving the Faith
I
receive many inquiries for advice from people who have left the
faith or who are leaving the faith. Since I do not have time to
answer all of them individually, here is a page covering the most
common requests.
Yahweh Creates Evil
Here is
a short essay I wrote during an e-mail exchange with a relative. The subject was whether or not
Yahweh is a monster. I made a litany of accusations against
Yahweh, and the relative asked for biblical chapter and verse.
Here is the essay I wrote for the first accusation in the litany,
namely, that Yahweh creates evil.
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