A View To A Kill
As reviewed by Miguel Crabs Kesey
Bond...Tightly Tied Bond. Shaken, not rattled...or whatever. I'm not a fan of Bond films, I'll tell you that right now, so don't expect a lovely review, ok? I did, however, watch "A View To A Kill", and, no, it wasn't just for the funky title music (and crappy 80s title sequence!) by Duran Duran. Anyway, that music seems to crop up all over the film... there's the part in France where Bond jumps onto the boat in which a wedding reception is being held...the band are playing a funky little version of "A View To A Kill"... aww, classeeeek!
Anyway, long gone is Sean Connery, he's too busy building a speedboat, Roger Moore has taken over the role with his Just For Men hair colour and his totally un-Bond like clothing. The baddies this time are Christopher Walken (who can do so much better than this shit film) and Grace Jones (who can't).
As usual, Bond has to go and stop something happening. And that's about it really. The sexist bastard manages to have sex with everyone, and be really intensely insulting about it. If I met James Bond in real life I'd have to smash his face in for being such a frickin' medieval sexist.
There are some cool parts in the film, however, for instance, when Grace Jones leads some dude down some stairs in a Zeppelin, presses a button, and the stairs turn into a slide and the guy slides away down and falls to his impending doom. I laughed.
There's some pervy voyeurism in the film too. At the end, James is doing his stuff in the shower with some daft blonde while one of those old bastards (could it be M, could it be Q, could it be F?!) is spying on him through the eyes of a little robot, and getting mightily carried away with himself if you ask me!
The only good thing about this film is that I can now play "A View To A Kill" on guitar...
Oh, well, whatever, nevermind.