Carnage Candy are hardly the most accessible of bands, but they've had a few good reviews in their time. They've also had a few bad ones. Sometimes, they can't even tell which ones they like better. Here are some of the best :
Taken from Emma Pollock's review of 15/7/99 gig at the Arena club, Glasgow :
"...then came CARNAGE CANDY, a trio of young men making a debut [this was, in fact, the band's second gig] in town. The band took an abrasive punk sound and mixed it with sheer perversion and politics. As the singer screamed at us and threw himself into every rock-star stance possible, the guitarist leapt around for painfully long bursts, and the drummer took every beat in his stride. Their guitar broke down, but they were soon on track with the least amount of heckles I've ever heard. Though still young, and lacking in something, but not much, the band were fantastic."
Billy Richards' review of "It Is Impossible To Breathe Smothered In Your Apathy" (actual spelling retained)
"A badly recorded demo from new band Carnage Candy this is in no way interesting to any metal fan. The music is cheap and over-used riff but cool in some parts in. Theres a lack of any thrust in their songs. Tht lyrrics are good but you can't make them out, weather this is the fault of the tape of the singer. The first song is good but like motorhead in some ways and "shoot me in the back of the neck" is a bad line [It's actually a quote from 1984 by George Orwell, so the band didn't exactly write it] in the head maybe, in the heart yeah but not in the back of the neck. The drums are mecanicil in Job Slowly Killing by carnage candy. every morning the singer looks in the mirror and shrieks with horrir, is he ugly? [The song is actually about middle-aged businessmen, not about Miguel C. Kesey looking the mirror] and wh o is vicky dawson? [Vicky Dawson is a girl who, when hanging up a poster of Leonardo DiCaprio, fell and managed to hang herself by mistake...the band saw this as, not only deeply symbolic, but deeply funny in genuine bad taste] this song is a bad pop effort, goth selfputy and full of suicide. [The song has nothing to do with suicide. It's about lack of originality in life, finding your only salvation in your heroes] The song that saves the day is andre serrano, like fear factory in their pisschrist bu not as good. And what does andre serrano have to do with it? [André Serrano created "Piss Christ", a picture of a crucifix hanging in a urinal, a symbolic link with the song's references to Christianity and comparisons to Nazi Germany...Kesey suggests Christianity's followers are so besotted with the idea of Christ as an object that they eat, drink, breathe and piss it] but the song is like an anthem to satanists [The song has no references to Satanism...] hail satan hail satan i'm not into all that devil stuff but this song is ass kickin. bad demo tape stupid and poppy, but good song at the end. 2/10 just for the andre song"
From an anonymous and deeply enraged dumbfuck...err...person, original spelling is kept to prove that we're not merely insulting him for his bad points :
"I FUCKEN HATE YOU! YOU HAVE GIVIN ONE STEP TWO FAR THIS TIME WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WITH YOUR SELF-RIGHTOUS IM SO GOOD ATTITUDE YOU NIGGERS! YOU CANNOT FUCKEN RIGHT A SONG IT IS AS GOOD AS THE BLOODY STEPS MUSIC COME S FROM THE SOUL AND THE HEART BUT YOU FUCKEN RIP OFFS. FUCKEN MANICS COVER BAND OLD AND STUYPID. I THINK YOU FUCKEN DIE YOU ASSHOLE AND IF YOU EVER STEP FOOT INSIDE THE ARENA AGAIN WE'LL MOTHERFUCKING KICK YOUR ASS."
This guy obviously has a split-personality as he wrote this a day or so later (spelling, again, kept the same) :
"OK SORRY for writng those harsh words about yer band i am sorry. you just had i just had a hard day and you just set me off with selfrightousi attiturs. i hate it when people think they are better than others [The band are trying very hard not to take the piss out of this statement] we are very sorry. we i have no right to threten you."
On the other hand, there's the odd person who doesn't agree :
"Personally, I think you're a great band! Keep it up."
Lindsey Calibur, who writes a local fanzine in Cincinatti (or something!?) offers these kind words :
"Eating away at my treble controls this week is debut demo from Scotch (We here at the Carnage Candy webpage prefer SCOTTISH if you don't mind) band CARNAGE CANDY! Some of you locals have heard of them, and some of you haven't because you're stupid. I recently downloaded all of "It Is Impossible To Breathe Smothered In Your Apathy" from their website : clik.to/carnagecandy. The demo begins with a fantastic sample from Flatliners, and then kicks into some hard rock, '78 style. Some brilliant lyrics accompany it, some of the best I've read for a long time. Quotes from Orwell, and references to various other works of fine literature are included. Almost too intelligent. Then there's, as singer MIGUEL C KESEY yells : "...the way we'd like to sound if we had money", Job Slowly Killing. A small industrial ditty of absolute SUPREME identity. I relate to this so much, it's unbelievable. The band's webpage states the song is "about middle-aged businessmen" but I feel it's a metaphor. It can't be so simple. Next is DIE LIKE VICKY DAWSON, what I feel is the best song on the demo. It's desolate and abrupt. Its subject matter is both morbid and important. It depends how hard you look. ANDRE SERRANO is a classic sarcastic rant at religion, and is clearly meant to not offend, but laugh at anyone who'd be offended. All in all, a brilliant first demo. They have extreme potential, and, I, personally can't wait the "promised" new demo : "Knowledge Is A Weapon Not A Weakness".
Brian Denon yelled at the band through e-mail this piece of fine nonsense (exact format kept) :
"WEAK! Thats what i call it. if therespish like this going around scotland then im glad i didnhavent seen you wankers at the arena . job slowly killing is my favourite song. from brian denon"
Such a short and sweet epitaph :
"I saw you guys at the Arena on 2nd Decemeber and I really enjoyed myself. I liked the confrontational image and the drum pads used. Good luck for the future."
Fantastic comments by Arianna Somebodyorother :
"You get too many good comments because personally I think you're shit but I love the demo. I'll throw things at you as long as you spit at me. I'll buy all your albums if you bleed on me. I will destroy all mirrors if you pen poems like you do. I twist and break under their power. And I will kill myself if you ever split up."
Somebody calling themselves Wily obviously likes us :
"Great gig at the Arena! Best fucking band ever! More bands need to do what you did."
A kind young chappy from http://www.mp3.com/asm/ once noted :
"...a fresh faced punk band with extra added techno blips, a wardrobe from the land of Manic Street Preachers circa 1991, and some seriously mad guitar work. More, please!"
Ooooh, I like this one :
"...the most explosively intelligent youth movement since the Situationists."
