Friday The 13th Part III
As reviewed by Miguel Cowabunga3 Kesey
Jason is back! Again. This time, however, he doesn't have a big bag over his head filled with potatoes, like in Part II. We're not sure if this film is supposed to follow Part II immediately, as in, its storyline is set straight after the first one, like Halloween II, but, who really cares?
Anyway, these sexrandy teenagers go up into the woods as usual...what fuckwads, you think you'd learn by now. If I was up in the woods with my friends and some local psychofucker came up to us and went : "Beware, Jason haunts these woods...he's killed before and he'll kill again with a big fucking meatcleaver" or whatever, I'd run like shit in a marathon. The one thing I wouldn't do is have sex in the hope Jason will chop my pecker off.
Ok, so, the token sex scene in this film takes place in a hammock and is completely disappointing. It'll leave you unfulfilled and dry around the bum.
However, in the group of sexrandy teens, there's Shelley, a fat bastard with curly hair who likes to play practical jokes on the rest of them. Ho, ho. He pretends he's dead a lot. And, stupidly enough, puts on a hockey mask and tries to frighten some lassie by waving a harpoon at her. Now, if one of my fat pals tried that shit on me, he'd be eating his sandals in no time, I'll tell you that...big bodgiedick.
Anyway, Jason kills Shelley and gets the mask...tada, that's how his hockey mask fame begins.
There are lots of pretty funny and stupid deaths in this sequel, including one Evil Dead-esque death scene in which some guy's eyeball flies out.
The end is somewhat disappointing, because some punker dude reappears whom you thought was dead beforehand...
Apart from that, Jason ends up with a big axe in his head, his mother dearest makes another entrance, and there's still another 6 films to go before Jason goes to hell.