Green Ice
As reviewed by Miguel ChristalmightyKesey
Oooh-err...this is what I get for judging a video on its cover. I bought this movie as part of a 4 for 20 pesetas deal in Virgin Megaslut, and I've did nothing but regret it ever since.
So, on the front cover, they have cleverly disguised the pictures so that it seems like an action packed fight-o-rama, but in actual fact, it's about diamonds. On the cover we have a guy in a big jumpsuit with what appears to be a lasergun with a scantily-clad ladywoman grasping onto his leg (quite high up that thigh). On the corner we see Omar Sharif with a big gun pointing it at him and in the background, it looks all green and futuristic with images of sodgies and parachutes.
Unfortunately, you put on the film and realise that it's not a lasergun but a hose or something...or one of those little lasers you use to chop diamonds. The woman is never scantily clad, just wearing a swimsuit. And Omar Sharif isn't pointing his gun at the dude with the laser, but firing in one of those practice firing ranges, hence his ear muffs on the cover. I just guessed he was cold due to all that green ice.
Not only that, the images of sodgies and parachutes are taken from a short documentary which the film has stolen images from so it can use it for its own ghastly needs.
Anyway, we never finished watching this film, because it was pish. But, we do remember that everyone fancied the disgusting main character and attempted to feed him, plus a big guy whose face was covered with hair, and the camera gave him an unnecessary close up. Hawd on, I'm away to watch that bit again...
Haha.