Indiana Jones Raids A Lost Arse

Indiana Jones has a big stretchy whip

That he leaves hanging manly from his hip

He's Harrison Ford

(Not to be confused with Ford cars)

And he was also Han Solo in Star Wars

Which was rubbish compared to Indy

It's like the comparison of Barbie and Sindy.

Indy leaps around with chinos that are white

Until he gets them dirty in a 1930s fight

With a Nazi or an Indian or a crusader from the past

Doodoodooodoodoodooodoodooodooodast (line supplied by Tina)

Indy's scar was made by River Phoenix

In the days of old when he was smaller

Fighting in shorts as a little boy scout

"It belongs in a museum," he'd holler

His father was untouchable

"Capone puts one of your men into the hospital; you put one of his in the morgue."

But he got shot in the end

Just like in the Last Crusade

But the Grail saves him

And it's all holy at that bit.

Anyway, back to Indy...

He survives eating brains and the temple of doom

A trip through Pakistan and a large insect-filled room,

But does Indy get scared? No, for goodness sakes...

The only things he's scared of are great big fucking snakes.

- Miguel C. Kesey

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