THE SCRIPT
THE SCRIPT
SCENE ONE
The film opens with a close-up of two action figures held in the hands of Michael McGowan, a young boy. He is in his bedroom with his friend Michael McGregor who is sitting on the bed.
McGowan (SPEAKING AS AN ACTION FIGURE) - "...off! You ate my sausages!"
HE MAKES ONE ACTION FIGURE SMASH THE OTHER ONE TO THE GROUND
McGowan (SPEAKING AS THE STANDING ACTION FIGURE) - "Now you will die, you motherfucker!"
HE USES THE ACTION FIGURE TO BEAT THE FIGURE ON THE FLOOR SEVERAL TIMES UNTIL ITS LEG COMES OFF IN HIS HAND. HE LOOKS AT THE LEG FOR A SECOND. THEN LOOKS AT THE CAMERA.
McGowan (LAUGHING) - "Shitzers...I broke his leg, man."
McGowan & McGregor at the same time - "I'm so bored, man."
McGregor - "Let's make a man."
McGowan (SURPRISED AND EXCITED) - "A man?!"
SHOT 2
Same scenario as before. Only this time, McGowan is sitting to McGregor's right on the bed.
McGregor - "...we gonna make a man?"
McGowan - "Hey, we could just use these balloons I've just found."
HE PICKS UP A PACKET OF BALLOONS FROM THE BED TO HIS RIGHT AND SHOWS THEM TO MCGREGOR.
McGregor - "Yeah!"
McGowan - "Great."
MCGREGOR SNIGGERS.
SHOT 3
McGowan sitting on the bed with the window behind him, pulling a balloon and making obscene noises.
SHOT 4
McGregor sitting on the bed blowing up a balloon with some awkward background music.
SHOT 5
McGowan standing near the door, blowing up a balloon and getting carried away with the experience. He suddenly lets go and it blows across the room.
SHOT 6
McGowan and McGregor sit as they were in Scene 1, fastening the head to LeJohn with some background music. They laugh. McGowan mimicks a bass. They finish fastening the head.
McGowan - "Oh, man...completed."
CAMERA ZOOMS INTO THE NEWLY BORN FACE OF LEJOHN, TAKING AN AWFUL LONG TIME.
McGowan - "Stop it, stop..."
MCGOWAN COUGHS. LEJOHN ROARS AND BUMPS INTO THE CAMERA.
SHOT 7
We see LeJohn looking into the camera, everything in life is new to him.
McGowan - "...this badboy?"
McGregor - "Umm...LeJohn!"
McGowan - "LeJohn!"
THE CAMERAMAN MAKES A DRAMATIC SQUEAKY NOISE.
SHOT 8
LeJohn is sitting on the desk at the side of the room. McGregor and McGowan are sitting as before.
McGregor - "Man, fucking LeJohn, man."
McGowan - "He's so boring now. Hey, you wanna go watch Massacre At Central High?"
McGregor - "Sure, man!"
McGowan - "Let's go."
THEY GET UP AND WALK TO THE RIGHT, THE CAMERA FOLLOWS THEM TO THE DOOR.
MCGOWAN PICKS UP A LARGE CARDBOARD TUBE NEAR THE DOOR AND STARTS TO HIT MCGREGOR WITH IT.
McGowan - "Fuck you, man, fuck you!"
MCGREGOR WEEPS.
THEY CONTINUE OUT OF THE DOOR.
SHOT 9
LeJohn sitting as he was before, only this time it's night.
Voice-over - "That night, LeJohn died of neglect."
LEJOHN FALLS OFF THE DESK AND THE CAMERA FOLLOWS
Voice-over - "But, due to the mystic forces known to balloon people, he came back from the life...death thing..."
LEJOHN RISES UP AND LOOKS AT THE CAMERA.
Voice-over - "...back to life! To kill."
SOME DRAMATIC MUSIC.
LeJohn - "Grr..."
SHOT 10
A man is out for a leisurely stroll, in the bedroom, and walks towards the camera, and begins to look frightened.
Victim (WHISPERS) - "No!"
SHOT 11
An extreme close-up of LeJohn's face and sounds of the victim dying.
SHOT 12
Some dramatic music is played as we see the victim lying on the ground, his eyeball dangling out, and blood splattered everywhere. LeJohn sits behind him, triumphant.
LeJohn - "Wahaha..."
Voices From The Past (WHISPER) - "LeJohn..."
LeJohn - "I, LeJohn, have made my first killing."
SHOT 13
We see the door, and it opens. Detective #1 walks in wearing shades and wielding a big Ghostbusters gun...he is followed by Detective #2, who has socks around his neck and is wielding a big carboard tube. They are chatting casually, and detective #1 is sniggering.
Detective #2 - "...I was saying to Betty the other day, she said, uhh, 'I can't give you sex if you don't give me l...'"
THEY STOP IN SHOCK AS THEY SEE THE BODY OF THE VICTIM LYING ON THE GROUND.
Detective #2 - "What the fuck?!"
Detective #1 - "Oh, fuck, man! I'm a detective."
Detective #2 - "So am I..."
THEY LOOK IN TO THE CAMERA.
Detective #2 - "...and this is a murder."
Detective #1 - "Fuck."
SHOT 14
The detectives grab a body bag and are beginning to place it over the dead body.
Detective #2 - "...body bag here that I just found."
Detective #1 - "Ok then, let's do that."
SOME DRAMATIC MUSIC.
Detective #1 - "Who do you think could've done this?"
DETECTIVE #1 HITS THE BODY WITH THE CARDBOARD TUBE.
Detective #2 - "I think it must've been...a killer."
HE LOOKS DRAMATICALLY INTO THE CAMERA.
Detective #2 - "A psychopathic maniac."
SHOT 15
The two detectives are sitting on the bed, detective #2 to the left of the screen, and detective #1 to the right. They are both browsing through some files.
Voice-over - "Then, back at the office..."
Detective #2 - "Hmm..."
Detective #1 - "Hmm..."
Detective #2 - "Looking up all the reports of these M.O.s, I think it's been a return-from-the-grave sort of killing...perhaps even...a balloon man."
HE LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT WHICH, SADLY, ISN'T ACHIEVED.
Detective #1 - "Like a...LeJohn?"
THEY THROW THE REPORTS TO THE GROUND.
Detective #2 - "By God, you're right! It must be a LeJohn. We must hunt him down before he can kill again."