Lucas
As reviewed by Miguel Copewithitasswipe Kesey
Aww, Lucas. A coming-of-age comedy about a little Corey Haim (of Lost Boys and Ain't Got A Man, Ain't Got A Daughter fame) wearing big glasses and carrying around insects who, evidently, comes of age.
He's the local genius, or, as you Americans would call him, a dumb geek...however, he isn't a dumb "geek", you stupid bastards. Anyway, he meets Kerri Green, of Goonies and Goonoids fame, whom he instantly falls in love with...not just because of the fact we saw her panties while she was playing tennis with herself, but because she seems to dislike the superficial things in life, like young Corey, whose name is Lucas in the film, strangely enough.
So, they hang out, but she's older than Lucas...he's 13 or something, 14...I dunno...I wasn't paying that much attention, and she's somewhat damaged and older...like 16 or something...and they have a fun time together, rolling about in mud and climbing through sewers.
However, things go wrong when school starts and Kerri meets big Charlie Sheen, the football hunk...she wants his Sheen right up her Kerri Green, as they say in Bolivia. Lucas gets jealous. However, the twist in this fantastic tale is that Charlie is the only jock that's nice to Lucas...the rest of them bully him and call him "Bone Marrow Transplant Needed On Ward 12". So, Kerri becomes a cheerleader to impress Mister Sheen, and then all hell breaks loose.
Anywho, Lucas gets all offended and decides to join the football team (or as we Scottish call it, "a lot of sexually insecure boys in helmets and eyeliner running around grabbing each other's waists" ball)...however, he's tiny! Ho ho...how comic.
Anyway, his best line is : "Don't you call me that, don't you call me a pissant, you dumb fucking jock." However, while playing in the football team, he gets a doing (or as you Americans call it, "he got his ass whipped by several young subterranean guerillas in L.A.")
But, it all ends up happy in the end...aww..
I'd give this film a lot of points, because I like it, and it's well-written, unlike some piles of shit. Oh, yeah, and look out for Winona Ryder's cameo apperance as a girl.