The Monster Squad
As reviewed by Miguel Copingwithawilly Kesey
Rock until you drop...dance until your feet fall off. Naw, is what I say. This is one of those films that you remember as being quite good when you were a wee guy, but when you watch it, you realise now that it's pishposh.
It stars lots of never-seen-agains, and a few seen-again-but-only-in-shit people. For instance, Wayne Arnold of Wayne Arnold fame in The Wonder Years playing someone who's remarkably like Wayne Arnold, and one of the bad guys fom Vice Versa is in it, but he seems as if he knows the film is shite, so he's taking the piss.
Anyway, it's about a bunch of kids who are monster fanatics. The leader of the group is an annoying wee bastard with a stripey shirt and his best pal seems to touch him a lot. The others are a tiny wee boy with some sort of speech impediment : "Monster stole my twinkie." Fuck off, you shitface. He has a little dog. Then there's a fat guy who's just annoying, and finally, Rudy, the cool dude of the school. He's so cool that he wears a leather jacket, slip-on shoes, and rides a bicycle. He even smokes.
So, they all have this monster club, called The Monster Miami Vice, and they talk about monsters while Rudy sits at the window taking photos of a girl taking her clothes off. But, then real monsters invade their home town, and they must fight them.
Quite shit really...if you can put up with the main character's constant fascist screeching, then the film isn't too bad...it's easy to watch, but hard to enjoy. I remember renting it out when I was younger and really liking it. But then again, I used to wear chequered shirts and suede Adidas trainees.
I have yet to see anyone from this film in anything else...if you have seen any of them, please write and tell me, so I can insult you for taking the time to watch films with them in it.