THE FITZY WITCH PROJECT THE FITZY WITCH PROJECT
the myth
In the peaceful, suburban town of Condorrat, like other urban areas, there are legends. One of which includes the legend of the Fitzy Witch. A lone hunter who prowls the woods near Condorrat, who is said to have, many moons ago, killed children and animals and things that go : "Wooo".
The Fitzy Witch myth has, through time, grown and become more exaggerated; but everything you read is based on true incident. The Fitzy Witch WAS real, and the Fitzy Witch DID kill children, animals and things that go : "Wooo".
According to research done by the Fitzy Witch Project team, the Fitzy Witch would hunt children down in the woods, then take them to his Condorrat home, where he would make them stand against the wall while he sang "The Love Boat". Ultimately, the children would be killed.
Local Stevenson
The Fitzy Witch Project, headed by Heather Donahue Kesey, interviewed locals, such as Local Stevenson, who told them much of what follows :
Some time in the early 1990s, the Fitzy Witch was sought out by distraught mothers and fathers, and caught in his Condorrat home. They did not wait for a fair trial, but strung him up by his neck, and chopped his winkydink off.
Drawing taken from "Legend Of The Fitzy Witch", published by Pathé Distribution Ltd. A late '90s impression of the Fitzy Witch hanging :
Legend has it, however, that the Fitzy Witch still roams his Condorrat home in Fitzyville. Everything you've heard is true, even though the locals told us fuck all interesting.