Facts of Life

Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

What we observe is not nature itself -But nature exposed to our method of questioning.
- Werner Heisenberg

STRESS: That confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.

REALITY: Mans attempt to rationalize the illusions that his mind creates in order to understand the world around him.

Two things worry most people these days: one, that things may never get back to normal; and two, that they already have.

HARRIS'S LAMENT: All the good ones are taken.

John's collateral corollary: In order to get a loan you must prove you don't need it.

One place where you're sure to find the perfect driver is in the back seat.
- Homer Phillips

One of the greatest joys in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The best thing about getting old is that all those things you couldn't have when you were young, you no longer want.
- Earl Wilson

Most people don't like authority; at lease they don't like other people's authority.

If it looks too good to be true...it probably is.

It isn't your position that makes you happy or unhappy, It's your dis-position.

It has never been determined whether the early bird enjoys the worm as much as the late bird enjoys the extra sleep.

Giving up smoking is like the first week in a nudist camp. You don't know what to do with your hands.

There's one inflexible rule of television: No show is too bad to be run during the summer.
- Phil Dsummer.

If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done.

Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.
- Joseph Weizenbaum

If there is technological advance without social advance, there is, almost automatically, an increase in human misery.
- Michael Harrington

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