Life in General

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea...
- Douglas Adams, from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The greatest programming project of all took six days; on the seventh day the programmer rested. We've been trying to debug the %#&*ing thing ever since.

Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to avoid responsibility?

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.
Marcus Aurelius

When it rains, it pours.

Jones Motto: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment in time never.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.

All work is unpleasant, If it were pleasant -Then it wouldn't be work.

If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.

My mind is made up - don't confuse me with the facts.

God gives us relatives; thank God we can chose our friends.

Same shit - different day.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
- 'Smile' Lingers

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
- Bill Vaughan

I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.

Most people prove it's not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess.
- Edna Chase

An embarrassing moment is spitting out a car window that is not open.

Nothing makes life look brighter than a stroke of good luck immediately following a stroke of bad luck.

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow

Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life.
- Joyce Brothers

One of the great labor saving devices of today is tomorrow.

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

People who don't know whether they are coming or going are usually in the biggest hurry to get there.

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
Anthony Burgess

Never stand begging for what you have the power to earn.
- Miguel de Cervantes

If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time--a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
- James Bryant Conant

If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
Elbert Hubbard

Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.
John W. Raper

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
James Thurber

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