Scientific Theories about Life
Gumpersons Theorum: The probability of anything happening is inversely
proportional to its desirability.
The principle concerning multifunctional devices: The fewer functions
any device is required to perform, the more perfectly it can perform
those functions.
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
Jenning's Corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered
side is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical
methods.
The number of green traffic lights encountered in the course of travel
is inversely proportional to the urgency of travel.
The size of the cut you inflict on yourself while shaving is directly
proportional to the importance of the event you're about to attend.
The velocity of the wind is in direct proportion to the cost of your new
haircut.
The First Clarke Law states, "If an elderly but distinguished scientist says that something is
possible he is almost certainly right, but if he says that it is impossible he is very probably
wrong."
- Arthur C. Clarke