From Select, February, 1999:

On the Buses

15/10/98 Dallas, Texas Bronco Bowl
Home of the Dallas Cowboys (arch rivals of our beloved Green Bay Packers). Recovering from a heinous hangover that was bestowed upon me by certain members of Girls Against Boys (Damn… they are so good-looking). I'm thinking that if I keep chewing Vitamin C by the truckload, I might just make it through the show without puking.

16/10/98 Austin, Texas Music Hall
I love Texas. All these Stetsons drive me wild. It's just like walking around in a movie. Maybe I'll bump into Matthew McConoughey and we'll become good friends. WheeHooooooooo…

17/10/98 Houston Texas, Theatre @ Bayou Place
My god! Walked into the venue today and couldn't believe the size of the place. We all started to take pictures of it because it was a fucking arena!! How the HELL did I get to this?!?! Some little skinny girl from Edinburgh, Scotland doing it for the first time. Ha ha hee hee ho hum… I am a pop diva after all!

18/10/98 Off
SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

19/10/98 Tampa, Florida USF Special Events Centre
Hmm… not one of our best performances. Pity, really. Lots of lovely young girls down the front though. I love that. My little tiger cubs. So pretty and well dressed.

20/10/98 Sunrise, Florida Musical Theatre
Much better show tonight, although my bloody voice is getting tired. Mercifully, I got a great gargle prescribed for it by a doctor in Austin that is laced with cocaine. I think I am getting seriously addicted.

21/10/98 Lake Bueno Vista, Florida House of Blues
The gig was in the middle of the DisneyWorld complex. Everyone in our party at some point or another got assailed whilst going about their business by various idiots dressed up as either Goofy or Mickey-bloody-Mouse. Oh ha ha ho hum… very funny indeed. Fuck off arsehole.

22/10/98 Off
SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

23/10/98 Atlanta, Georgia The Tabernacle
Suffered through another photoshoot for a UK magazine called Minx. Didn't feel like being a little minx though and probably came off more like Mary Poppins.

24/10/98 Raleigh, North Carolina The Ritz
Masses of screaming fans outside after the gig tonight. We felt bad because we didn't have time to sign autographs for everyone so our tour manager reckoned it better not to sign anything at all. We ran into the bus as they chanted and screamed and felt particularly bad when we heard some of the little girls crying their eyes out. We have decided that we are bound to end up in Hell for that episode alone.

25/10/98 Washington DC AU Bender Arena
Oooh yummy… another big venue. It is such a blast pretending to be a massive rock star! It is just how you imagine it to be when you're wee and you're singing into the mirror wit a hairbrush in your hand. If I had a penis it would have been fully engorged.

26/10/98 Off
SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

27/10/98 Philadelphia Pennsylvania Electric Factory
Another foul hangover. Went drinking with the crew last night (big mistake). They are all giving me devilish grins today and asking how Ifeel. Apparently I was a little more frank in my conversation than perhaps I would consider prudent when sober. Woopsie.

28/10/98 Worcester, Massachusetts The Palladium
Oooohhh… I love the accents up here. They are so HOT.

29/10/98 The Late Show with David Letterman
It was even colder than usual on the set for some reason. I thought my nipples were going to burst through my clothing at one point, so on edge were they. Black Sabbath were also appearing on the show along with us. I spent the entire evening hiding from them as I couldn't stand to bear witness to the Oz in person. I would laugh my head off way too much.

30/10/98 New York Roseland
Crazy schedule… Think I am about to drop down dead! Played a live version of '#1 Crush' on Howard Stern this morning before attending an in-store in New Jersey. Howard was on his best behavious. He left it to me to bring up the subject of anal sex. Had a great show tonight though: audience went nuts. Finally… a good show in NYC!!!!!!

31/10/98 Asbury Park, New Jersey Paramount Theatre
Yikes… this is a scary town! Which is rather appropriate really, considering that it is Hallowe'en and all. Of course the band insisted on going on stage bedecked in their costume of choice. Butch went on as Jason. Steve went on as Frankenstein's monster. I went on as an alien and Duke went on as a happy pirate. (Go figure?!)

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