Partner's Questionnaire:

This questionnaire is for individuals who are or were
partners of transvestites, crossdressers, drag queens or transsexuals

Please select one of the other questionnaires if this is inappropriate

The object of this research is to try to obtain quantitative data about attitudes and reactions of partners to transgenderism. The information requested goes into some personal areas including sexuality as this may influence those views. I emphasise that no attempt will be made at all to identify respondents. Data and comments may be extracted - but will be kept totally annonymous. I need you to be as frank as possible please.

Definitions for terms used in questionnaire. Again, I accept that others' interpretations may differ

Transvestite (TV)
Cross Dresser (CD) one who wears clothes usually associated with the opposite sex but normally live as their physical sex

Transsexual
(TS) one who lives or intends to live full time in their true gender role rather than their physical sex role and who hopes/ plans to ultimately undergo SRS/GRS (or has undergone surgery)

Transgendered
(TG) within this questionnaire one who lives substantially in their preferred gender role but who does not currently intend to transition fully or undergo surgery. (I realize that many use TG as an umbrella term - but this will help me classify information).

Shemale
(DQ) for the purposes of this questionnaire, one who takes female hormones to develop a feminine body, or who has breast implants but does not intend to undergo SRS.

Drag Queen
(DQ) someone who cross dresses in a "theatrical" manner - rather than as the "woman next door"

T* anyone who is TV/ CD/ TS/ TG/ DQ - or in any way transgendered

Question Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions:

1 Is/was your partner:
Transvestite/Cross dresser
Transgendered
Drag Queen
Shemale
Unsure - possibly TS
other please state:

2 How old are you now?
16-20
21-25
26-30
31-35
36-40
41-50
51- 60
over 60

3 How old were you when you learnt that your partner was T*?
16-20
21-25
26-30
31-35
36-40
41-50
51- 60
over 60

4 Marital status: are you
single
married/ living together
separated/ divorced
widowed

5 do you have children, if so how many at what age are they?
no children
under 5 years old
5-10 years old
11-15 years old
16-20 years old
21 or more years old

6 Sexuality - do you consider yourself to be
heterosexual
gay/ lesbian
bisexual
a-sexual (no interest in sex)

7 Did your partner seek counselling for cross dressing/ transsexualism?
yes
no
if yes: was the counselling at
their own instigation
because of pressure from you or others to seek help
how long did your counselling last
sessions over years months

what did your partner hope to gain from the counselling:
to try to stop dressing
to feel less guilty/ ashamed of dressing
other - please specify

did the counselling achieve what your partner hoped it would (partly or completely)?
yes
no
did it help in ways which your partner had not expected
yes
no
If it helped in unexpected ways, please specify:

Did your partner consider the counselling to be
no use at all
some minimal benefit
quite useful
very useful
extremely beneficial

8 Did you seek counselling with regard to your partner's cross dressing/ transsexualism?
yes
no
if yes: was the counselling at
your own instigation
because of pressure from your partner or others to seek "help"
how long did your counselling last
sessions over years months

what did you hope to gain from the counselling:
to try to find ways of stopping your partner dressing
to come to terms with your partner's dressing/ transsexualism
other - please specify

did the counselling achieve what you hoped it would (partly or completely)?
yes
no
did it help in ways which you had not expected
yes
no
If it helped in unexpected ways, please specify:

Did you consider the counselling to be
no use at all
some minimal benefit
quite useful
very useful
extremely beneficial

9 Do others know of your partner's cross dressing/ transsexualism? (tick all that apply)
only other TGs at a support group
some of your children
all of your children
partner's mother
partner's father
some of your partner's sisters/ brothers
all of your partner's sisters/ brothers
other family members
your mother
your father
some of your sisters/ brothers
all of your sisters/ brothers
other family members
some friends/ neighbours
all / most of your friends/ neighbours
work colleagues
if you need to expand on answers to this question, please comment:

10 If you are now divorced/ separated, was your partner's cross dressing/ transsexualism a significant cause of the separation?
yes
no

11 was your partner actively cross dressing when your relationship started?
yes
no
If yes, please answer question 13;
if no, please go to question 14;

12 If your partner was dressing when you started your relationship
you met when your partner was dressed en femme
or, did your partner tell you:
before the relationship became significant
after you had been together for a significant time
or
did you find out without your partner telling you?

13 If your partner was not dressing when you started your current relationship did your partner tell you
as soon as your partner realised that the dressing was becoming significant
well after the dressing became significant
or
did you find out without your partner telling you

If your partner is a transvestite/ cross dresser - or went through a stage of considering themselves to be TV/CD/DQ before deciding they were TS, please answer Question 14.
If they decided that they were TS without being TV etc for any time, please go to Question 16.

14 What was your reaction to learning that your partner cross dressed (tick all that apply)?
total rejection
anger/ hurt that your partner had kept it secret
ultimatum that your partner seek help to stop or you would leave
asked if your partner was gay
asked if your partner planned to have sex change
concern about what neighbours/ family would think
asked that it be kept secret from your children
you would prefer that your partner stop - but ignored it
tolerance - providing you did not see your partner dressed and your partner was discrete
you asked questions and tried to understand
you sought help from other sources to understand the condition
you sought counselling for yourself
acceptance; you had no significant problem with seeing your partner dressed but would not get involved
actively involved, you help your partner with make up advice, shopping etc
total involvement - you go out with your partner dressed
Other comments:

15 Has your attitude changed since learning about your partner cross dressing?
yes
no
if yes has your attitude become
more tolerant/ understanding
less tolerant/ understanding

16 What was your reaction to learning that your partner is transsexual (tick all that apply)?
total rejection and a desire for "revenge"
total rejection - but no other action
anger/ hurt
extreme concern and a desire that your partner seek help to get cured
you accepted the situation and you still live together
you sought help to understand the condition
concern about what the neighbours/ family would think
you wanted it kept secret from children as long as possible
acceptance of the fact that your partner is TS and you remain friends but not partners
actively involved, you helped your partner with make up advice, shopping etc
Has you attitude changed since learning that your partner is TS
yes
no
if yes has your attitude become
more tolerant
less tolerant
If your attitude has become more tolerant, how long did this take?
less than 6 months
6 to 12 months
1 to 2 years
2 to 3 years
more than 2 years
How would you describe your relationship now?
antagonistic
cool. We talk politely when necessary
Quite amicable
Close Friends
Living together as companions
Partners

17 do you consider that there is a common root cause for all forms of transgenderism with other factors affecting the degree of transgenderism in an individual and how they express it
yes - I consider that all forms of transgenderism share a common root cause with other factors influencing the extent and way in which it is expressed
no - I believe that there are different basic causes for transvestism/ crossdressing/ drag queens and transgendered/ transsexualism

I think some expressions of transgenderism share common routes - but not all.

I don't know/ have an opinion

18 do you think that an individuals transgendered state is fixed or that TGs can tend to move from one state to another
fixed
it can change; TVs/CDs etc can become TS and TSs can revert to being TV
it can change; TVs/CDs etc can become TS but TSs do not revert to being TV (some TVs may have thought they were TS then realised they were not)
I have no opinion/ do not know

19 please consider the usual claimed causes of transgenderism and indicate what you consider to be their order of importance
1 most important, 4 least important - leave blank any factors you consider not at all relevant:
conditioning / the way we were brought up
genetic influences
influences during the development of the foetus during pregnancy eg effect of testosterone
other causes (please specify)
I do not know/ have no opinion

20 what do you think of transvestism/ cross dressing:
tick all you think apply - then select the three you feel strongest about.
1 disgusting
2 a sickness which can be cured
3 should not be allowed in public
4 they should not be allowed near children
5 ridiculous
6 they are all gay
7 they do it to attract men for sex
8 if that's what they want to do, let them get on with it - so long as I don't see it
9 it's sinful
10 not interested in understanding it
11 a medical condition which should be accepted

21 what is your view of transsexualism:
tick all you think apply
1 disgusting
2 a sickness which can be cured
3 it's wrong to mutilate a healthy body by having sex change
4 should not be allowed in public
5 it's a sin
6 they should not be allowed near children
7 ridiculous
8 they are all gay
9 they do it to attract men for sex
10 if that's what they want to do, let them get on with it - so long as I don't see it
11 they are failed "men"
12 whatever they do they'll never be real women
13 treatment should not be allowed on the National Health Service
14 a medical condition which should be accepted

22 Would you agree or disagree with the view that
"Transsexualism is a medical condition - whilst transvestism/ cross dressing is a perversion?"
strongly agree
tend to agree
neither agree nor disagree
tend to disagree
strongly disagree

23 Schooling
What level of education did you reach
left without qualifications
minimum high school qualifications (UK-GCSE)
advanced high school qualifications (UK-A Levels)
College/University
Type of School Attended
Single Sex - day
Single Sex - Boarding
Co-educational - day
Co-educational - Boarding

24 Ethnic Background; are you:
Asian
Afro-caribbean
White
Other

25 Religious Background; are you:
Christian - Roman Catholic
Christian - Anglican
Christian - Non Conformist/Other
Jewish
Buddhist
Muslim
Other
None

26 Employment are you:
(if unemployed - state usual employment)
Managerial/Professional
Social Services/ Nursing/ Teaching
Military/ Police/ Fire Service or similar
Skilled/ Technical
Unskilled
Student
Other

Thank you very much for your patience. I will publish summaries of the results as soon as I can
Helen Dale
Personal Pages - Including my views of what makes us TG and my diary including my thoughts prior to coming out to my family and others. If you are looking to understand TGism, you might find it helpful
I really do appreciate that having a T* partner - especially one who is TS - is nearly always a horrendous discovery and that filling in this questionnaire may have been painful. So please accept my grateful thanks for your time and trouble
By the way, a mailing list I belong to has partners/ relations of TG individuals and are currently (28/9/99) talking of setting up a support network for other partners and families of TGs. Please e-mail me if you would like details. e-mail me at trojan@globalnet.co.uk

Transvestite (TV) Cross Dresser (CD)	one who wears clothes usually associated with the opposite sex but normally live as their physical sex
Transsexual (TS)	one who lives or intends to live full time in their true gender role rather than their physical sex role and who hopes/ plans to ultimately undergo SRS/GRS (or has undergone surgery)
Transgendered (TG)	within this questionnaire one who lives substantially in their preferred gender role but who does not currently intend to transition fully or undergo surgery. (I realize that many use TG as an umbrella term - but this will help me classify information).
Shemale (DQ)	for the purposes of this questionnaire, one who takes female hormones to develop a feminine body, or who has breast implants but does not intend to undergo SRS.
Drag Queen (DQ)	someone who cross dresses in a "theatrical" manner - rather than as the "woman next door"
T*	anyone who is TV/ CD/ TS/ TG/ DQ - or in any way transgendered

Question	Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions:
1	Is/was your partner: Transvestite/Cross dresser Transgendered Drag Queen Shemale Unsure - possibly TS other please state:
2	How old are you now? 16-20 21-25 26-30 31-35 36-40 41-50 51- 60 over 60
3	*How old were you when you learnt that your partner was T?** 16-20 21-25 26-30 31-35 36-40 41-50 51- 60 over 60
4	Marital status: are you single married/ living together separated/ divorced widowed
5	do you have children, if so how many at what age are they? no children under 5 years old 5-10 years old 11-15 years old 16-20 years old 21 or more years old
6	Sexuality - do you consider yourself to be heterosexual gay/ lesbian bisexual a-sexual (no interest in sex)
7	Did your partner seek counselling for cross dressing/ transsexualism? yes no if yes: was the counselling at their own instigation because of pressure from you or others to seek help how long did your counselling last sessions over years months what did your partner hope to gain from the counselling: to try to stop dressing to feel less guilty/ ashamed of dressing other - please specify did the counselling achieve what your partner hoped it would (partly or completely)? yes no did it help in ways which your partner had not expected yes no If it helped in unexpected ways, please specify: Did your partner consider the counselling to be no use at all some minimal benefit quite useful very useful extremely beneficial
8	Did you seek counselling with regard to your partner's cross dressing/ transsexualism? yes no if yes: was the counselling at your own instigation because of pressure from your partner or others to seek "help" how long did your counselling last sessions over years months what did you hope to gain from the counselling: to try to find ways of stopping your partner dressing to come to terms with your partner's dressing/ transsexualism other - please specify did the counselling achieve what you hoped it would (partly or completely)? yes no did it help in ways which you had not expected yes no If it helped in unexpected ways, please specify: Did you consider the counselling to be no use at all some minimal benefit quite useful very useful extremely beneficial
9	Do others know of your partner's cross dressing/ transsexualism? (tick all that apply) only other TGs at a support group some of your children all of your children partner's mother partner's father some of your partner's sisters/ brothers all of your partner's sisters/ brothers other family members your mother your father some of your sisters/ brothers all of your sisters/ brothers other family members some friends/ neighbours all / most of your friends/ neighbours work colleagues if you need to expand on answers to this question, please comment:
10	If you are now divorced/ separated, was your partner's cross dressing/ transsexualism a significant cause of the separation? yes no
11	was your partner actively cross dressing when your relationship started? yes no If yes, please answer question 13; if no, please go to question 14;
12	If your partner was dressing when you started your relationship you met when your partner was dressed en femme or, did your partner tell you: before the relationship became significant after you had been together for a significant time or did you find out without your partner telling you?
13	If your partner was not dressing when you started your current relationship did your partner tell you as soon as your partner realised that the dressing was becoming significant well after the dressing became significant or did you find out without your partner telling you
If your partner is a transvestite/ cross dresser - or went through a stage of considering themselves to be TV/CD/DQ before deciding they were TS, please answer Question 14. If they decided that they were TS without being TV etc for any time, please go to Question 16.
14	What was your reaction to learning that your partner cross dressed (tick all that apply)? total rejection anger/ hurt that your partner had kept it secret ultimatum that your partner seek help to stop or you would leave asked if your partner was gay asked if your partner planned to have sex change concern about what neighbours/ family would think asked that it be kept secret from your children you would prefer that your partner stop - but ignored it tolerance - providing you did not see your partner dressed and your partner was discrete you asked questions and tried to understand you sought help from other sources to understand the condition you sought counselling for yourself acceptance; you had no significant problem with seeing your partner dressed but would not get involved actively involved, you help your partner with make up advice, shopping etc total involvement - you go out with your partner dressed Other comments:
15	Has your attitude changed since learning about your partner cross dressing? yes no if yes has your attitude become more tolerant/ understanding less tolerant/ understanding
16	What was your reaction to learning that your partner is transsexual (tick all that apply)? total rejection and a desire for "revenge" total rejection - but no other action anger/ hurt extreme concern and a desire that your partner seek help to get cured you accepted the situation and you still live together you sought help to understand the condition concern about what the neighbours/ family would think you wanted it kept secret from children as long as possible acceptance of the fact that your partner is TS and you remain friends but not partners actively involved, you helped your partner with make up advice, shopping etc Has you attitude changed since learning that your partner is TS yes no if yes has your attitude become more tolerant less tolerant If your attitude has become more tolerant, how long did this take? less than 6 months 6 to 12 months 1 to 2 years 2 to 3 years more than 2 years How would you describe your relationship now? antagonistic cool. We talk politely when necessary Quite amicable Close Friends Living together as companions Partners
17	do you consider that there is a common root cause for all forms of transgenderism with other factors affecting the degree of transgenderism in an individual and how they express it yes - I consider that all forms of transgenderism share a common root cause with other factors influencing the extent and way in which it is expressed no - I believe that there are different basic causes for transvestism/ crossdressing/ drag queens and transgendered/ transsexualism I think some expressions of transgenderism share common routes - but not all. I don't know/ have an opinion
18	do you think that an individuals transgendered state is fixed or that TGs can tend to move from one state to another fixed it can change; TVs/CDs etc can become TS and TSs can revert to being TV it can change; TVs/CDs etc can become TS but TSs do not revert to being TV (some TVs may have thought they were TS then realised they were not) I have no opinion/ do not know
19	please consider the usual claimed causes of transgenderism and indicate what you consider to be their order of importance 1 most important, 4 least important - leave blank any factors you consider not at all relevant: conditioning / the way we were brought up genetic influences influences during the development of the foetus during pregnancy eg effect of testosterone other causes (please specify) I do not know/ have no opinion
20	what do you think of transvestism/ cross dressing: tick all you think apply - then select the three you feel strongest about. 1 disgusting 2 a sickness which can be cured 3 should not be allowed in public 4 they should not be allowed near children 5 ridiculous 6 they are all gay 7 they do it to attract men for sex 8 if that's what they want to do, let them get on with it - so long as I don't see it 9 it's sinful 10 not interested in understanding it 11 a medical condition which should be accepted
21	what is your view of transsexualism: tick all you think apply 1 disgusting 2 a sickness which can be cured 3 it's wrong to mutilate a healthy body by having sex change 4 should not be allowed in public 5 it's a sin 6 they should not be allowed near children 7 ridiculous 8 they are all gay 9 they do it to attract men for sex 10 if that's what they want to do, let them get on with it - so long as I don't see it 11 they are failed "men" 12 whatever they do they'll never be real women 13 treatment should not be allowed on the National Health Service 14 a medical condition which should be accepted
22	Would you agree or disagree with the view that "Transsexualism is a medical condition - whilst transvestism/ cross dressing is a perversion?" strongly agree tend to agree neither agree nor disagree tend to disagree strongly disagree
23	Schooling What level of education did you reach left without qualifications minimum high school qualifications (UK-GCSE) advanced high school qualifications (UK-A Levels) College/University Type of School Attended Single Sex - day Single Sex - Boarding Co-educational - day Co-educational - Boarding
24	Ethnic Background; are you: Asian Afro-caribbean White Other
25	Religious Background; are you: Christian - Roman Catholic Christian - Anglican Christian - Non Conformist/Other Jewish Buddhist Muslim Other None
26	Employment are you: (if unemployed - state usual employment) Managerial/Professional Social Services/ Nursing/ Teaching Military/ Police/ Fire Service or similar Skilled/ Technical Unskilled Student Other