YSF BOOK

BOOK WORM DROPPINGS
SOME OF THE THINGS CUSTOMERS SAY!
QUOTES FROM THE BOOK OF THE SAME NAME,
BY SHAUN TYAS ( ISBN 1871615143)
ALL SUPPOSEDLY TRUE, ANYWAY THE ONES FROM US SADLY ARE .

"" I'LL TAKE THIS ONE. I KNOW IT'S GOOD I'VE READ IT BEFORE. I DON'T LIKE BOOKS I HAVEN'T READ BEFORE "
FROM THE BOOK NOOK, FORT WILLIAM.

MOTHER DRAGGING CRYING CHILD OUT SHOP
" SHUT UP I'M NOT BUYING YOU A BOOK TILL YOU CAN READ"

WIFE LEADING COMPLIANT HUSBAND AWAY
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ANOTHER BOOK FOR, YOU'VE GOT ONE ALREADY"

ARE THESE THE STAIRS THAT GO UP?

TWEEDY LADY WITH COLOUR SWATCH
"DO YOU HAVE A BOOK THIS COLOUR"
"PROBABLY...ON WHAT SUBJECT?"
"ANYTHING WILL DO AS LONG AS IT'S THIS SHADE
AND ABOUT 6"X 4", BUT NOT TOO THICK.
I'VE GOT A LOVELY TABLE CLOTH ON A SMALL TABLE, AND I THOUGHT A BOOK THIS COLOUR WOULD LOOK GOOD ON IT"

"HAVE YOU GOT THE COLLINS' FIELD GUIDE
TO SMALL SQUASHED THINGS YOU FIND ON MOTORWAYS?"
HATCHARD'S LONDON

"I'M LOOKING FOR BOOKS BY ARTHUR COAL-AND-OIL"

THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN GOING TO BED WITH A
GOOD BOOK ,
IS GOING TO BED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS READ ONE.

THE PROBLEM WITH KEEPING BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND
IS IT'S SO HARD TO TAKE YOUR TROUSERS OFF.E

Hurried,though no yet panicky,woman on the phone
"DO YOU HAVE A COPY OF EMERGENCY CHILDBIRTH AT HOME"
NO..............[click}

Two men looking at the bible
"THE MAN WHO WROTE THAT MUST BE FAIR RAKING IT IN"
Hatchard's,Paisley.

"HELLO, I'M LOOKING FOR A COPY OF JOY OF SEX."
OH,I'M EVER SO SORRY, BUT WE ONLY HAVE THE SEQUEL, MORE JOY OF SEX, AT THE MOMENT....
"OH, BUT DON'T YOU NEED VOLUME ONE BEFORE YOU GO ONTO VOLUME TWO?"
Mmmm, NOT NECESSARILY....NO, I DON'T THINK SO. OF COURSE, WE COULD GET VOLUME ONE FOR YOU.
"AH!, HOW LONG WOULD THAT TAKE?"
ONLY THREE DAYS FROM THE WHOLESALER, I SHOULD THINK.
"OH THAT'S NO GOOD, WE NEED IT IN HALF AN HOUR!"
Hatchard's,Paisley.

"Are your general paperbacks in any particular order, please'?"
Yes sir! [without turning round) A to Z by author,
top left to bottom right.
"Mmm, can you recommend a good thriller writer between K and Z?"
Yes, but why between K and Z?
"' Cos I' m only three foot fucking tall ! "
Westgate Bookshop, Sleaford.

"You found me that book on the Presidents' wives, the one written
in 1880."
Oh, yes, I remember.
"I was wondering if you knew whether the author had updated it to 1960?"
The Observatory, Sitka, Alaska.

"I' m looking for book-binding tape so I can mend my mac! "Whiteman's Bookshop, Bath.

"The gentleman sitting next to me on the train had an interesting book. "
Hatchard's, London SW3.

"Funny the sort of things you can learn about people from their hands..."
Is it? Of course, Sir.
"Even stranger what you can learn about people from their big
toes. People wouldn't wear sandals if they knew what I could tell
about them! "
Goldmark Books, Uppingham.

"I'd like a Bible, please."
Certainly, which version, Sir?
"There is only one, young man "
David Johnstone, Eaton Ford.

"outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend,

inside of a dog it’s too dark to read!"
(Thanks, John and Katherine)

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