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| Homer : Don't worry boy, people die all the time, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Goodnight. Homer : English, who needs that ? I'm never going to England ! Homer (to the flintstones theme tune) : Simpson, Homer Simpson, He's the greatest guy in history, from the town of springfield he's about to hit a chesnut tree, aahhhhhh!!! Homer : Some day you'll thank me boy Bart : Not bloody likely. Homer : When I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mit. But my dad would'nt get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the cafe table. The doctor said I might have brain damage. Bart : Dad ? Whats the point of this story ? Homer : I like storys. Homer : Beer, is there anything it can't do ? Homer's Mind : Pick up Bart, Pick up Bart. Homer (to himself) : Pick a bar ? This quote is from when Homer ran out of the house in the nude : Ned : Hey Homer, I can see your doodle! Homer : Shut up flanders ! Homer : So I says to the guy : "You're car was upside down when we got here and as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that". Moe : This deep frier can fry a buffalo in 40 seconds! Homer : Ooh. but I want it now ! Homer : No beer no TV make Homer go something something... Marge : Go crazy? Homer : Don't mind if I do !!! Homer : (talking to himself) Donuts, is there anything they can't do ? Homer : And when I woke up I was covered with a warm slimy gew. Moe : Hey Homer you want some more peanuts ? Homer : Mmm... peanuts (drooling). Homer : I don't want to look stupid, just give me one of those moomoo's. Homer : Look, Marge, this can has springy snakes, but suckers think it's beer nuts. Heh, heh. (looks up, turns back to can) Mmm...Beer Nuts. (opens can) D'oh ! Homer : Stupid Bug ! You go squish now ! Homer : Kill my boss ? Do I dare live out the American dream ? Homer : Hey Flanders look at my new automable Upon entering clown college, Krusty The Clown asks where all of his students are from. MAN 1 : Texas MAN 3 : New Jersey MAN 3 : California Homer : Homer Homer : D'oh ! Homer : I'm sorry Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for any of these back door shenanigans. Homer : Ohhh, he card read good. Homer : (Behind burns back) LOOK THERE !! (Takes burns donut and eats it) Burns : I saw that ! Homer's Brain : Food goes in here. Homer : It sure does. Marge : You know Homer, It's really easy to criticize OTHER people. Homer : And fun too ! Homer : That man is my exact double, ... that dog has a fluffy tail, Hee Hee! Homer : Ahh suger fresh !!! Bart : Dad. Homer : Yes, son? Bart : You don't have any money in your wallet! Homer : Why not? Bart : I took it all. Homer : Why you little ...! Homer : Bart can kiss my hairy, yellow butt! Homer : (to postal employee) Hello, my name's Mr. Burns. I believe you have a package for me. Postal Employee : Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name ? Homer : I don't know. Homer : It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography. Homer : Hello, Operator ? Give me the number for 911 ! Homer : (looking up and talking) Lord, why hast thou forsaken me? Marge : Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle Bart threw up and there. (knocks the waffle down with a broom) Homer : (catches the waffle) I know I shouldn't eat thee... (munches on waffle) Mmm, sacreligous. Mr. Burns (Golfing with Homer) : Use an open-faced club! A sand wedge! Homer : Mmmmm... open-faced club sandwich. Homer : "Marge, Marge the doll tried to kill me and the toaster's been laughin' at me" Homer : Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again ? What about bacon ? Lisa : No. Homer : Ham ? Lisa : No ! Homer : Pork chops ? Lisa : Dad, those all come from the same animal ! Homer : Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal. Homer (Upon finding out he's been admitted to college) : (Singing) I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T! Old man : Take this doll, but beware it carries a terrible curse. Homer : Ooo, that's bad. Old man : But it comes with a free serving of frogurt! Homer : That's good! Old man : The frogurt is also cursed. Homer : That's bad. Old man : But it comes with your choice of toppings! Homer : That's good! Old man : The toppings contain potassium benzoate... Homer : Old man : That's bad. Homer : Can I go now? Homer : Mmmmm... 64 slices of American cheese. 64 (munch munch munch)... 63 (munch munch munch) (cut to much later) Homer : 2... (munch munch munch) ... 1 (munch munch munch) Marge : Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese? Homer : I think I'm blind. Homer : Eow.. pointy.. Ew... Slimy.. Awww... 20 dollars !? I wanted a peanut. Homer's brain : 20 dollars can buy many peanuts ! Homer : Explain how. Homer's brain : Money can be exchanged for goods and services ! Homer : Woo hoo! Lisa : Dad, we did something very bad! Homer : Did you wreck the car? Bart : No. Homer : Did you raise the dead? Lisa : Yes. Homer : But the car's okay? Bart & Lisa : Uh-huh. Homer : All right then. Homer (praying) : Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy command will be done (munch munch munch). |