Louise feels excluded and victimised.
She shares her story with Edges

It's like I am a ghost, I talk but nobody hears me, I do my work but no-one sees me, it's as if I don't exist.

This has been the situation now for about 6 weeks, although its been building up for at least 6 months. I have no-one to help me and the reality is no-one really cares. It seems that until I find myself a new job, I will have to wake each weekday morning with the dread of what lies in store for me each day.

In a way they are clever in their use of the management and their ability to get them to see their point of view. I am not the first this has happened to and I certainly won't be the last, I find some sort of comfort in this as it's easy to become paranoid and think its all your fault.

Management? I thought that as I have always worked hard and have good time keeping, tried always to be helpful, used my initiative in tricky situations, I thought when I had genuine cause to complain about an individual's treatment towards me, they would take this into account. How wrong could I have been? They took sides, they made it clear that they felt I was wrong, that I imagined things, that I should do my job and apologise.

Apologise, for what? For trying to do my job whilst trying to placate 13 incredibly self-centered, narrow minded, racist inadequate women. For the past 3 years I have had to listen to them tear others to shreds, be disrespectful to patients, consultants, doctors, nurses, anyone. Listened to their complaints and like a fool tried to help them, and at the end of all this still managed to do my own job and take on other tasks as well.

So what went wrong? I didn't let one of them onto the photocopier straight away, I had something to do, I asked her to wait. That is all I did, so as you can see, I really do deserve to be treated like scum, its quite acceptable to comment on how bad my work is, its okay to complain to Management and have me checked up on at least 3 times a day. Really I don't want to eat in the staff room at lunch I much prefer the locker room. No I didn't really want a cup of tea - even though you are making everyone else one. Keep your biscuits, I don't feel like one today, sorry if you didn't offer me one did you. Thanks for telling me I have a phone call. I have worked out your fun new code, if the receiver is thrown to one side and a "its for you" is barked at me - its delightful.

I am angry, I am upset, I don't try to let it show, they have ruined a part of my life, but not all of it - I still have a future.

If there was someone to give me advice, I would want them to say, leave, get a new job, move on, forget this experience - live your life and don't be scared anymore because you are worth better and you can do better and there is no law that says you have to stay.