EDGES MAGAZINE Issue 12

CHRISTMAS 1997

HOW COULD THEY DO
THIS TO ME?

Edges Magazine report on the story of Lilly's Life.
She spent most of her life locked away

"I am not stopping here to die". Lilly's determination enabled her to see that dream come true. Holding her frail hand, in the privacy of her home, a few days before she died, enabled me to share in her joy of freedom. After spending over forty years in what came to be known as a mental institution, personal liberty was granted to this lady of courage in the evening of her life. Living in a terrace house for the last fourteen years of her life, resulted in her embracing that gift of autonomy. On the 25th October, 1983, Thames Television ,presented the documentary, " Don't Look Back". It described the life of Lilly and two other ladies who had spent almost all their human existence isolated from the outside world, deep in the Lancashire countryside. Lilly was confined to this form of institutional living, not because she was mentally defective, her only defect, if that's what you want to call it, was that she caused a problem to the authorities. Orphaned at the age of thirteen, she was sent to a convent, but didn't like it because she was made to pray several times each day. On numerous occasions she would run away. Her running away was an expression of her confusion and a call for help; consequently the authorities kept transferring her from place to place, eventually it was thought that the only place that could deal with this rebellious youth was an institution for the psychologically unbalanced. In those days it was known as a mental institution.

The world was at war; Lilly was also about to experience an inner war that lasted the biggest part of her life. "There was nothing mental about me", Lilly calmly expressed. "When I arrived it was evacuation time, all the doors were locked, it was like being in jail. In the early days we were made to get up at 5.30am and help out in the dormitories; we would wake up the physically handicapped and give them a wash. A full day of duties would then follow". Listening to Lilly speak reminded me that history provides us with a tool, that enables us to look at the mistakes of a previous society. Victorian values were still operational in Lilly's early years; values implemented by God fearing people who attended church. Although we cannot really blame them for their misconceptions, we can learn from their blunders. Mistakes have been constantly made ever since the fall of Adam. A break down in communication takes root in the history of humanity and Man's revolt against God will be the foundation of a fragmentation in human relationships. Confusion and misunderstanding will reign in the midst of life. In Lilly's early years such people as prostitutes, drunkards, unmarried mothers' were locked away; although society has changed its attitude regarding its perception of how to deal with moral defectiveness, the cries of the voiceless still rise up daily in contemporary society. Under different disguises we see the Lilly's of our world crying out in the wilderness.

Society always finds it difficult to understand those who do not fit into the standard norms. Subconsciously, we can be guilty of closing our minds and refusing to understand the various peoples' whose ways of living are incompatible with our own understanding of life. Normality and abnormality have never been able to live side by side; yet when people express their peculiarity and eccentricity, we can find the very uniqueness of their individuality. Developing a theology and a ministry with various peoples' on the fringes of society makes me consciously aware of the difficulty people face in changing the mask of their appearance if it does not fit in with the general norms. The reality must be, that the mask does not need to be changed, if underneath the surface, the values of the kingdom can be found.

In those final days of Lilly's life there was no animosity expressed for what happened in the past. Like the Mandelas of our world, Lilly carried her cross while travelling on the road of life. Yet, her attention was not focused on the actual carrying of the cross, instead her mind was inspired by the one nailed to the cross. He gave her the vision to hope. Through the years of her institutional life, she prayed; looking back at her life this enabled her to see light in the darkest moments. Eventually her span of freedom would be terminated by cancer. The carrying of the cross became very real again; however, her experiences of the past taught her to hope when there was despair. Facing death with courage and faith exhibited her integrity and solidarity with the suffering Christ. Her life personified the words of St Paul to the Romans, "if God is on our side, who can be against us". Words that are meant to inspire the many people in our country who are confined to the edges of society.

Lilly was a victim of bullying high-mindedness of a bygone age.

Edges Reporter


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. Material Copyright © 1997 THOMAS (Those on the Margins of a Society)
THOMAS is an integral part of Catholic Welfare Societies, Registered Charity number 503102