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EDGES MAGAZINE Issue 19 |
October 1999 |
 |
I
had a decent upbringing, good parents, good environment, and was
supported in whatever I wanted to do. I had got to high school, I
had started having music lessons by then, and I was playing in
orchestras and stuff. I made many friends, like you do. It was a bit
of a big world, but I was doing well at school and I did not have a
problem. I was a bit cheeky and stuff, but I was doing my work and
finding it all right. I got through school, did well in my GCSE’s,
and then started going to college. I did not like the college course
I was doing, so I stopped, which gave me a year off.
I had already been taking Cannabis and LSD up to then, and then I started taking loads of Speed, and loads of Ecstasy. I started with a bit on the weekend, like you do, and got more carried away as the year went on. I started getting smashed all the time, but then the next year I started college. Everything was going really well for a year and a half, I picked up and was getting straight distinctions, and I was doing really well and was quite pleased with myself. Then my dad died. Over six months afterwards everything started going wrong. I got busted and put up on a drug charge with intent, and in possession of a class A. Things started to go down hill from then. I started to take a bit of Charlie on the weekends, having nights out with my mates, and then I started selling Charlie. Things then progressed and I was taking a number of Ecstasy on a Friday night and a Saturday night, with a few grams of Coke on each night. It ended up that I was having Charlie for breakfast, dinner and tea everyday, and just dossing. Then I started taking crack and things really went down hill. I started getting a hundred or two hundred-pound debts every week. I was taking Crack most days a week, three or four day binges, non-stop. My Coke and Crack supplies then ran out, I was unable to get it from anywhere. I needed to make money really; I had to pay these people off. So, I started to sell Heroin. It was there all the time so I started taking it as well. This was about two and a half years ago. I lost my girlfriend, more or less within a couple of months. Things were going bad before that, It was not much to do with the Heroin, but it did not help. I started to hang around selling Gear all day. I got with another girl and a kid. I stayed with her for a year, but there is no way you can have a decent relationship. The times when I was not selling, things were bad because I did not have it, and I was rattling. I would wake up at six in the morning, and she is there trying to get to sleep. I would be feeling rough and throwing up and stuff, so it was no good. There were loads of things that went on with that relationship, and it just all really went wrong. I was staying at my mum’s for six months up to a year, and my mum found out what I was doing. She totally could not handle it. This was after I was selling it again and I start taking loads, and I just screwed up. I got kicked out of my mum’s house; my mum would not have anything to do with me. I split up with my bird and I was living on my own, and I started to get really depressed. I then got busted for credit card fraud. They came and raided my house, and found some Heroin and stuff. My girlfriend provided them with an eye statement telling them it was I, so I had to admit to that and I was put on probation. Just before I was put on probation, there was one night I was thinking of doing myself in. I had been really depressed for months, and I was crying all the time. I was on my own; I did not really have any friends, and I did not go to see any. My benefit claim was not going well. I was on the sick and they thought I was ripping them off, and half the time they would not pay me. Everything was really bad. Things started to pick up when I was put on probation. I got two counselors and a good probation officer that tried to support me in sorting myself out. I went to a place called Bridge in Bradford, which is a detox unit, but it was too far away and there was not much to do, so that went out of the window. Then I heard of this place here. I had already started to try and sort myself out. I went camping on my own, got a job, bought a watch, and stuff like that. I was just trying to be normal. Then I heard of the THOMAS organisation, through a bloke who had been over. Originally, I had just planned to come and do my detox, but when I got here, I realized there was a lot more to it than that. Here I am. Everything has been going pretty well. I have been off for a couple of weeks now. I am in one of the flats, doing my washing, doing my washing up, and I feel pretty good. My mum, brother and sister have just been over to see me, my friends are writing to me, and everything is looking pretty good. I expect it to stay that way. I can’t see anything going wrong here with the support that I have got and the opportunities that are available. I am really quite pleased with things. It has taken me years to get round to this, to say that I need help, and I need to change. I am now doing it and I feel really good about it all. I am really grateful to Father Jim and all the people here who are helping |
