|
EDGES MAGAZINE Issue 32 |
March 2003 |
Paul has just recently
completed stage one of our drug rehab programme I first heard about T.H.O.M.A.S. while I was in prison through Pam, one of the workers who visited prison every week.
I actually came into T.H.O.M.A.S. in July of this year. It has helped me in many ways and got me thinking about why I was taking drugs and what I’ve got to do to get on with my life.
I discovered whilst in the project that it has got a lot to do with your feelings and that you need to have a little bit of meaning in your life. I really do think that if you want to do it you’ll keep off drugs whatever happens. All you’ve got to do is do it for yourself.
I started taking drugs about six years ago now. It started with amphetamine, weed, E’s and trips. Eventually, it escalated to heroin which I was on for five years. It took me going to prison to come off drugs and to realise I needed to sort out my problem and that’s why I came to T.H.O.M.A.S.. I started taking drugs through boredom and wanting to be one of the crowd. I suppose I took them to escape reality for a while as well, when it got hard. Being on the streets and things like that gets hard so you do take drugs.
When you start on the slippery slope you don’t know what’s happening to you because you haven’t got the experience. It’s only when you meet other druggies and see what their lives are like that you realise. You think your own life’s alright but it isn’t.
The worst moment for me in the past was trying to see my kid and take heroin at the same time. I was living in this squat. All I had was a mattress. I didn’t have any clothes to wear and I felt an embarrassment picking up my son.
I went into care at the age of three. I got fostered out at the age of five. It didn’t work out. I then got put into Red House where I stayed for two years. From then on really I’ve never belonged anywhere and I’ve just wandered around from town to town, just trying to survive really.
When I came into the project I was very quiet through lack of confidence. My head was always down. It took me about three weeks to come out of this with the help of all the staff at T.H.O.M.A.S.. They made me believe in myself again and that I could actually do it. There was a reason why I was here and it was for myself.
