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I am 27 years old. I was born in Blackburn and adopted when I was six weeks old…that has nothing to do with my addiction. I have an adopted sister. I was always a problem child, always the class clown, always seeking attention from others. I always did as I was asked because I wanted to please people. At an early age my parents got involved with school because I got bad reports. They took me to see a child behavioural specialist who said I was hyper-active and I was put on a special diet. I also had other problems like bed-wetting until I was 11 years old. I had treatment for that too. My behaviour problems continued into the secondary school stage. I also had a problem with fire; I was always lighting fires; I set fire to my old primary school. I set fire to a shed and this spread to the school causing a lot of damage. I was about 14 or 15 then. I also caused a big fire at my secondary school, for which I was suspended. I was accepted back at the school and although I never studied or did any work I got two grade C’s and 6 grade D’s which wasn’t good but not bad considering I had never shown any interest in lessons. I left school and didn’t do much at first, but then my dad said that I had better do something with my life. I went to Nelson College and did ‘A’ level in music. But I was expelled from there for causing trouble. I went to Burnley College to do an apprenticeship in plumbing and heating. I was alright there I passed all my exams and because it was something that I enjoyed doing I did well for a few years. I had started taking Ecstasy, amphetamines, L.S.D. things like that but it never affected my college work, I could cope with it. I worked for Hyndburn Council for three months but got sacked for messing about and then I went to Spain. I worked there for 5 months as a D.J. because it was something that I was interested in. But as usual I got bored with that and I came home. I always get bored with things. At this point when I got home I got into drugs. I had been drinking heavily in Spain so when I got back to Burnley it was a big come down. Something of an anti-climax. I had no money, no friends, no job, so it was the complete opposite to Spain. I started knocking about with three people from the village. One of the boys had been an heroin addict but he had got off it. He introduced me to heroin as we went for a drive one night he got some. The other lads and me had never had it before, we were curious, the type of lads who would say, go on I’ll have some of that. The four of us shared one £10 bag which isn’t much. But I didn’t like it. It made me sick. I told the others that I would go out in the car with them but I wouldn’t take any of the heroin. But I did - every day for three months. That’s when I had a really bad car accident and I nearly died, that was in 1998. I hit another car, going to get some heroin so I I suppose you could say that it was heroin that nearly killed me. I was in hospital, two months, when I came out I was bed-ridden. The boy who had introduced me to heroin had started seeing my sister so he came round to my parent’s house where I was living and kept saying things like ‘You’re in a lot of pain you can’t sleep can you?’ He said the heroin would get rid of the pain, so I started taking it. I don’t blame him, I could have said no, but I was in pain and I couldn’t sleep so I started taking it, and I became an addict. I was on it for a year and because my immune system was already low I got a serious bone infection and I was back in hospital for another month. I had to have emergency surgery.I kept getting abscesses on my legs, maybe it was the steel pin already in my legs but my immune system was low and then the drugs. The surgeon said if one of them had burst into my blood stream, I would have died. I was in for a month, I was clean when I came out I was clean for a couple of months. I went back on to heroin and the boy who had introduced me to it injected me. I had never injected before and I overdosed so ended up in hospital again. Four times I have been in hospital, four times I should have been dead. I have tried countless times to get clean I once paid £3000 pounds to detox but that didn’t work. I have tried subscription drugs from the doctor but they didn’t work, or I didn’t work them. I hit rock bottom. But in the six years that I have been an addict I didn’t commit crime, maybe it was because I was on crutches most of the time and I would have stood out like a sore thumb. But until just before I came here I didn’t have trouble. Then I started shoplifting, I took £90 from an old lady’s house and I stole from someone my parents knew very well. I have deep regrets for that. I would never go into rehab. I didn’t think they would work. My sister found one in Keighley but I thought it was too religious. But it made me think and through my girlfriend who has a friend who works at the needle exchange I got some literature about T.H.O.M.A.S. I liked the sound of it, the friendliness of it I thought that I would give it a try. I liked the idea of sessions and breaks during the day and the weekend activities. I contacted a project worker and got some information from him, I made it clear what I felt about rehabs. Then I spoke to another worker who asked me would I like to come in. They offered me a place in two weeks time. Before I knew it my parents were buying me clothes and bits and bats, because I had none. I had been living in a bedsit, but I had had a nice life with my mum and dad before that. I stayed with them for a week before I came in and it was the worst rattle that I have done. I’m looking forward to the next few weeks here. I have discovered that I can stay clean on a day-to-day basis, I have tried to do it myself before but it never worked. I have had a lot of support from my family and girlfriend but they didn’t understand like the people I’m with here, a lot of them are ex- addicts so they know what it is like. The sessions are very good. I can relate to their stories. It works because it helps you to get these thoughts out of your mind and that is important as well as learning to deal with it on a day-to-day basis when before I was always projecting to the future. I would like to pass on the message that this place works. It works for me and it’s worked for a lot of people. I meet them at N.A.meetings there is a lot of clean time out there and I believe this place will work for me rather than other places that I’ve been in. |
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