My mum first went into hospital when I was ten, just after my youngest brother Nick was born. She was diagnosed with something called sarcoidosis, which attacks the immune system. Mum was in and out of hospital all the time. Sometimes she would be there for a month, other times it would be a couple of weeks. Visiting her was scary as she was always really pale and had loads of tubes connected to her. ‘My stepdad works long hours, so when Mum first started going into hospital, my nan and auntie Debbie would help us out. But as the eldest, I started to help tidy and do the washing- up and laundry. When my mum was at home but feeling ill, I’d often take days off school to help look after her. We used to tell school that I was ill, but no one questioned it. I wasn’t resentful about the situation – I thought I was helping out. I didn’t tell most of my friends what was going on because I didn’t want them to think I was different. But some people I told would make hurtful comments.

‘We noticed there was something wrong with my youngest brother Nick when he was about two. He wasn’t as advanced as other children, and he didn’t talk much. My cousin Timothy suffers from autism, which means he has problems interacting and communicating with people, and Mum recognised some of the same symptoms in Nick. ‘He wasn’t diagnosed with autism for another two years but my mum prepared us for it by talking about my cousin. I wasn’t scared or upset – I’ve always been close to Timothy – but I was worried that Nick having autism would make mum’s condition worse.

‘When I was younger, my family would help a lot with mum and Nick, but I began to take more control of things when I was 15. I learnt how to deal with Nick’s tantrums by ignoring him – which was hard when he was trying to headbutt things to get attention. I’ve needed to physically pin him down on the floor to stop him on occasions. Now and again I’d get frustrated about not being able to go out with my friends or go shopping, but I got used to things. ‘Everyone says to me: "I don’t know how you deal with it." But I’m used to it. I do get jealous of friends who have less to worry about, but I don’t dwell on it – it’s just part of my life. It’s a matter of organising myself. At school people will mess about during their lessons and then do their work at home. But I can’t do that – I try to get everything done at school. Last year I got a part-time job in a shop after my GCSEs. It’s great experience and it gives me a bit of money to spend on myself. It gives me independence as well – it’s good to get out and I really enjoy meeting new people.

‘I think my home life has affected my personality because I have more things going on than your average 17-year-old. It’s strange when I go round to my friends’ houses and their mums are running around after them. I’ll get up to do something and they’re like, "No, no don’t worry, I’ll do it!" I am concerned about what the future holds for Nick but I don’t dwell on it too much. I just concentrate on the present because I haven’t got the time to think about anything else.