I first got addicted to drugs when I was about 17 or 18 years old, smoking cannabis, taking LSD and going to night clubs, taking ecstasy, dancing all through the night at endless numbers of parties, hence the ‘supporters’. I enjoyed the music that much that I became a DJ and got involved in the scene myself, with the illegal rave scene, in the town at the time, until the police put a stop to it. There’s no way you can take mind-bending drugs like you do with dancing, sitting watching TV. That’s when my life went down. I had a lot of friends who were taking heroin way before I started, close school friends and before long I was associating again with them and smoking heroin with them. That’s when my life started seriously to go downhill. Of all the drugs, heroin has a bad karma behind it; it has so many bad vibes, things that came along in my life like pure sorrow; bad vibes, bad things happening to me, bad luck. It didn’t feel good any more, there was no enlightenment from it, I just felt bad inside. I had no feelings, nothing for my family; I have a lovely family, they love me to bits, but I didn’t care, I just didn’t care, I didn’t care at all. I was still doing bits of DJ work at the time but obviously on heroin, not enjoying it. I ended up back at my parents in the area where all my old school friends were until my parents found out that I had an heroin problem and that was it. OUT the door and I had to go. My brother fixed me up with a bedsit but because I had done all my DJ business on my parents’ landline phone I lost all my contacts with that. Perhaps if I hadn’t been on heroin I would have sorted all that out. I love music still, I have a recording studio and I still make music, I should be releasing music now, but I’m that paranoid I just make it and it sits on a shelf going nowhere just collecting dust. I’ve never been in prison in England but I have been in prison in Switzerland. Stealing for funding my drugs through the parties before I was introduced as a DJ. It was a bit like Robin Hood really, that attitude – take from the rich to give to the poor - by going into the wealthier country and stealing money from people. I was in prison in Switzerland in Canton for 4 months solitary. I wasn’t treated well at all, I was kept in solitary in a tiny cell. People say if you are banged up in Switzerland it’s cushty, it’s not at all. I didn’t understand the justice system over there that was a problem. It’s a different justice system; it was difficult, very difficult, all I had was a translator, I didn’t have any legal representation at all. In the beginning I had a bit of exercise and they allowed me to write home to my parents, but I was exercising in a tiny cubicle of a yard walking around on my own, it was about 20 feet square. I wrote to my brother complaining about this and suddenly the exercise stopped. They extended my time, I was only on remand then but they applied to the British Embassy and got permission to extend my time. They couldn’t get a proper conviction on what we had done so I was released and they dealt with it in my absence. I came back t o Britain and 4 months down the line I got a letter stating that I had been found guilty with a fine of £3000. I realised that I needed to change my life, it was going nowhere, it was going downhill fast. It was just a case of the more money that I had the more I drugs I took. I was eventually brought to my knees with it and I had to deal with it. I came to T.H.O.M.A.S. 4 weeks ago to detox in one of their houses but failed miserably. I went out of the window at 7.30 in the morning, went to a friend’s house took some heroin and the depression double kicked in. I had to face my family again; I had to face my parents. They are in their late 60s, my father is not a well man and this has been punishing them more than anything. I needed to address that. I’m lucky that I have a family that loves me to bits. I did a home detox with my sister and sister-in-law who locked me in the house and that combated it; I got the demons out of me. Withdrawal symptoms have always been my problem. I was really poorly, I had breathing problems, I was sick. But today I’ve got past it, I’ve combated it and I feel good for it. I’m now back at T.H.O.M.A.S. My appetite is coming back, I’ve been swimming; I go to the gym now and I feel good for it. |
