Haulfryn Funnies

Last updated: 08/12/2001

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Subject: The perfect day

FOR HER

8.15      Wake up to hugs and kisses
8.30      Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday
8.45      Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
9.15      Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10.00     Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer
10.30     Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12.00     Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12.45     Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained 7Kg
1.00      Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3.00      Nap
4.00      Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card id from secret admirer
4.15      Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to  work on such a perfect body
5.30      Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror
7.30      Candle lit dinner with champagne for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10.00     Hot shower (alone)
10:50     Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11.00     Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11.15     Fall asleep in his big strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM

6.00      Alarm
6.15      Blow job
6.30      Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7.00      Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench
7.30      Limo arrives
7.45      Several Whiskeys en-route to airport
9.15      Flight in personal Lear Jet
9.30      Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9.45      Play front nine (2 under)
11.45     Lunch Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12.15     Blow job
12.30     Play back nine (4 under)
2.15      Limo back to the airport (Several Whiskeys)
2.30      Fly to Monte Carlo
3.30      Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew (all nude)
4.30      Land world record Marlin (1200lbs) - on light tackle
5.00      Fly home, massage and hand job by naked supermodel
6.45      Shit, Shower and Shave
7.00      Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; marijuana and porn legalised
7.30      Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice-cream served on  a pair of tits
9.00      Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV screening international match of the day; Australia beating South Africa by 11 wickets
9.30      Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies)
11.00     Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale
11.30     A night cap blowjob
11.45     In bed alone
11.50     A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

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