"the Contessa"
Elizabeth SHALLOW
1915-1995
She lay dying in Mount Sinai hospital
in Toronto, wearing a paper crown, attended by a family
of whores. There were girls in tight skirts and heels,
girls in sweaters with plunging necklines, a girl in a
black sheath dress that winked out just a hint of tattoo.
One of the whores brought her kids along. Another brought
her hubby. It felt very family.
The dying woman's name was Elizabeth
SHALLOW. The girls, though, addressed her as Contessa.
They were celebrating her 80th birthday, and everyone
knew it would be her last. She had cancer and not many
weeks later, on Aug. 28, she died.
Elizabeth SHALLOW was probably Canada's
oldest whore, and undoubtedly the country's most famous
madam.
She achieved a certain notoriety in
Toronto in the late seventies, when police busted her
call-girl service and the story played the papers. But
Toronto was really just the last chapter in a story that
began in Regina when she was 17, with modelling gigs that
brought extra cash for doing, as she put it,
"personal favours."
She didn't stay in Canada for long. She
was very beautiful. She was poised, aristocratic and
ambitious, and soon there was an apartment in New York's
Fifth Avenue, the champagne parties and trysts with the
likes of Miguel Aleman, president of Mexico. She says
American president Harry Truman wanted into her bed, and
she says she turned him down. She received postcards from
Elizabeth Taylor. Cherished an autographed photograph
from Richard Burton. She made a lot of money. In 1951 she
married a Romanian count, and though the marriage ended
only a few years later, the "Contessa" she
remained until the day she died.
She also spent time in American jails
-- once for two years on what were then called
"white slavery transportation" charges. After
she was released, she returned to Canada, headed for
Toronto ("it was a good choice," she wrote
later, "it's a wealthy city") and started right
back into the business. She would eventually remarry (her
husband died in 1984), and though she was busted,
convicted and fined in 1979, she continued to work and
madam well into her seventies.
For most people, it's the tales of
presidents and movie stars that enthrall. The family of
whores know all the glamorous stories, but there are
others they cherish more. They talk of the Elizabeth
SHALLOW who always had room for a girl in trouble. Who
helped out with money. Who kept a smaller percentage of
the take than any other madam. Who was proud of her
profession, and who taught her girls to take the same
pride in their work as she did.
Some of them made it to that hospital
room for her 80th birthday party. They brought champagne,
and balloons, and streamers, and the hospital looked the
other way. The girls teased her, and she teased right
back. She took a particular shine to me that afternoon,
and wouldn't let me leave until I'd signed her guest book
and given her my phone number. Some people thought she
was a little ga-ga by then, but I like to think she could
still spot raw talent.
(nicked off the 'net)
SHALLOW
obviously wasn't her real name - and has thus been
changed to protect the family's innocence...
----------------------------------------------
"The
Prozac Royal Family"
With
Mother Inferior Advising her Queen
1961
- to be announced
-----------------------------
"Uncle
Pfizer"
1934
- Present day
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