| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
|
Our three-ring circus of Roger Willis, Ross Holman and
Dave Nicholls is back in town. Watch 'em put all the latest
arcade games through the hoops - and have a laugh at the
clowning around.
What's the score? Well, the marks out of five at the end
of each review is a sort of shorthand way of summing up
what each reviewer thought of the game. But will it be a
commercial success? For that you'll have to check out the
HIT and MISS system. Simple, eh?
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PIPELINE / S.O.S.
Viper / £7.95
Ross: You get two games for the price of
one here ... and both are pretty good!
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Pipeline is the better game, so we'll
deal with that one first. Featuring some
very colourful graphics and a fairly
original idea (at least on the Speccy), you
have to keep a pipeline completely free of
leaks so that the water flows through to
fill a tank at the bottom of the screen.
Trouble is that gremlins are about and
soon start causing all sorts of problems by
making holes all over the pipeline. So,
guiding your spanner-wielding workman
around the pipeline, you start making
repairs and bashing said gremlins on the
head.
The graphics are very large, but that
doesn't affect their smooth animation ...
very convincing! And if you want further
proof that this isn't such a bad package,
turn the tape over and load up S.O.S.
OK, so the idea's not that original (we've
all seen Lunar Lander
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clones before,
haven't we?) but it's not a bad game.
Overall, though S.O.S. isn't the best
thing since sliced bread, the two games
together make up a pretty decent package
that's definitely worth the money. 3/5 
Dave: Original, attractive and horribly
addictive ... indeed, it's enough to put
you off running a bath for ages! Go out
and buy it and have barrels of fun. 4/5
Roger: Great stuff. A program that all
plumbers should play before they come
around to your house and turn it into an
indoor swimming pool! S.O.S. isn't bad
either. Go-getters should go get it! 4/5
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| R O G E R ' S R A V E O F T H E M O N T H
|
TAPPER
US Gold / £6.95
Roger: Five different frothy, gargling,
screens of panic-stricken swilling have to be
attacked, as you desperately try to get the
bevvies in for different classes of rowdy
customer. Four bars, catering for Cowboys,
Jocks, Punks and Aliens have to be served,
hut overall behaviour suggests they must all
be football supporters ...
Thirsty yobboes constantly shuffle up the
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bars towards you and can be only kept at bay
by swift delivery of glasses of the amber
nectar. Serve one too many and you get
lumbered with a smashed glass. Serve one
too few and the irate punter, raving with
thirst, sends you for a nasty nose-first trip
down the bar. What's more, the wretches
chuck their empty glasses at you, and these
have to be deftly caught.
And if that ain't enough to put you off
hostelry employment for life, there's another
transitional screen in which lurks a bandit
who shakes up some of the tinnies you're
about to open - get a can overdosing on
fizziness and you'll be wearing the contents ...
The graphics are splendid 3D-ish stuff and
the action is blisteringly fast - too fast for
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poor little me using a keyboard. I got so tired
that I just had to go and assault
a different barman. 4/5
Ross: Tapper's a simple little game, but
things can get quite hectic and it's extremely
addictive. The accompanying graphics and
sound are pretty good, but if the dancing girl
graphics are meant to attract customers,
someone better think
again! 4/5
Dave: I like games that deal with subjects
close to my heart - and that means
Tapper's got to be a winner. You'll need
good co-ordination, though, so there's no
slipping away for a quick half before the
action starts! 4/5
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Have a heart! Well, it's a life actually and
they're very easy to lose. If you don't keep
the patrons of your bar sozzled on Sarsaparilla,
they'll pick you up and start mopping up the
slops with you.
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You'll never get bored in Tapper - you
won't have the time. You'll be rushed off
your feet for the whole game. I've noticed
that no green crinkly drinking vouchers ever
change hands at the Crazy Horse Saloon -
now that's the type of bar I like!
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|
One way of keeping the customers satisfied
is to work systematically down the
bars, throwing one or two pints of plonk
(assuming there are punters waiting) and
then moving on to the next. Only when
things get really hairy will you need to
change your routine.
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Now doggone it pardner, you better look
after these cowgirls and cowboys, otherwise
the west might just re-introduce lynching for
the lazy bartender.
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|
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Some of the regulars return to the far end of
the bar to sup their pints in peace. But
watch out for when they've finished 'cos the
empties come sliding back to you. If you
miss one, you can wave farewell to another life.
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Keep a careful eye on how many customers
you've got on each bar. You might have a
smashing time if you throw an extra glass
but the clientele won't be too impressed.
And that's goodbye to another life.
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| D A V E ' S R A V E O F T H E M O N T H
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| This is a mole-hill - if you watch it closely,
you may be lucky enough to see a moon-mole
stick its head out for a couple of
seconds. If you do, jump on it quickly as it'll
enable you to transform into a mole during
the rest of the proceedings.
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| NODES OF YESOD
Odin Software / £9.95
Dave: Well, it must be said ... this game
features the best music on the Spectrum this
said of Top Of The Pops (That's not saying much! Ed.) And not only that, but the
animation is up to the standard set by
Ultimate, and the speech ... well, words fail!
OK, you've probably gathered by now that
I like this one, so let's get down to the nitty-
gritty of the actual game. First off, you're
briefed by Commander Smith in an appalling
German accent and then it's into the action.
Your task is to make your way across the
lunar surface, jumping onto a moon-mole as
soon as it pops its head out of one of the
craters. You then move underground in
search of the eight Alchiems that go to make
up the great master key.
On your journey under the lunar surface
watch out for all sorts of baddies, such as the
Liver Birds, a big red fish, an alien pirate and
a bouncing Teddy Bear. Of course, if you
choose you can transform yourself into a
mole and deal with your enemies in a most
animalistic fashion. You can jump all over
the place, but mind you don't fall too far or
else you'll find your space-suit develops
leaks in the most unpleasant of places and
you'll lose a life.
The action is fast and furious throughout
Nodes of Yesod, which is amazing when you
consider the quality of the sprites and the
flicker-free animation. The game really does
pale into insignificance when you see it
being played ... the way the spaceman
bounces off the lunar surfaces is a joy to
behold. Some programming person has gone
to the most meticulous detail to make sure
that everything is just right. This one gets a
resounding yesod from me! 5/5
Ross: Nodes of Yesod may seem like a silly
name, but then the game's got some nice
humorous touches that make it very friendly.
You only have to read the instructions -
they're in rhyme - to know that someone's
got a healthy sense of humour. 4/5
Roger: Overall, I'd have to say that it looks
like an Underwurlde clone ... but then again,
I loves Underwurlde. And I love this game too! 5/5
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| A mole-hole is the only way you're going
to be able to get down into the underground
world of Yesod. Down here you'll find all
sorts of marauding meanies and bad tempered
baddies ... so watch out!
|
| This is the heartbeat monitor - as you
draw near to the end of your life the sine
wave begins to slow down. A nice touch!
|
| This is the Alchiem counter. Each time you
find a piece of the Alchiem, a square is filled in.
|
|
| Here we have it - the all-essential Alchiem.
All you have to do now is collect the other
seven Alchiems and then go in search of the monolith.
| Dressed to kill, here's our hero wearing the
trendiest space gear this side of Carnaby
Street. Note the tres chic Xammo jet pack on
his back - how else does your average
space-person get around these days?
|
| According to the instructions, this is a
Spring Monster ... but it looks more like a
Teddy Bear to me! S'shame it's not so friendly.
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| Watch out for this creature ... it's none
too friendly, and won't take kindly to
the normal way of dispatching with
unwelcome meanies. If you bounce this one
on the head, it'll bounce you all over the screen.
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| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
|
THE BULGE
Lothlorien-Argus / £9.95
Dave: No, it's not a diet program, we're
back in wargame land.
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This one's based on the Battle of
Antwerp which happened around the end
of WWII. If you cast your mind back to
Imagine's Stonkers, there are a lot of
similarities - such as using the cursor to
move troops around on-screen. Also like
Stonkers, you're kept up to date by
means of a ticker-tape display.
The actual playing area is about 12
times the size of the screen, so when your
cursor gets near to the edge of the screen
you scroll automatically into the next
area. Screen graphics are OK, but
nothing to write to Mum about in your
letter from the Front.
The game can be played by two
players, the Speccy taking the other side
should you have to play on your own.
Strategically, Bulge is quite good, but
I've got
|
a feeling hardened wargamers
may find the whole affair a bit easy.
However, for the novice,
Bulge is recommended. 3/5
Ross: On the whole, I find most wargames
boring. Having said that, though, The Bulge should satisfy the death-dealing
instincts of your average aspiring
Montgomery ... it looks complicated
enough anyway. 2/5
Roger: With a title like that I'm sure
there's something obscene I could say ...
but it might detract from what I thought
was a very good wargame. Definitely one
for the more violent of our
readership. 4/5
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911TS
Elite / £7.95
Roger: Stuck up past its hub-caps in
blatant
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advertising for Dunlop tyres,
including permanent on-screen logo and
an opening 'choice' screen featuring four
different types of competition rubber
from the aforesaid corporate enterprise,
this lump of software claims to transport
us through the experience of driving an
upmarket hairdresser's motor car through
various rally sections in less-than-glorious
2D scrolling action. (If, as Elite's
packaging blurb boldly states, the Porsche
911 is the "world's leading sports car"
then I'm Sir Clive Sinclair. This is
fortunately untrue, although we seem to
share similar intelligence and cash flow
problems ...)
Players also get a chance to 'buy' other
go-faster goodies besides tyres, before
attacking their first stage. There is, we
quickly discover, no pretension to driving
simulation. The game
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is nothing but a
simplistic 'dodge-the-random-object' slice
of kiddie-level arcadia.
Maybe I'd have been
better off on Pirellis ... 2/5
Ross: Many moons ago, I typed in my first
program into the 3.5K of the VIC 20 and
ended up guiding a spaceship through a
scrolling asteroid belt. 911TS is very
similar, only this time you control a
Porsche. Nuff said. 2/5
Dave: Elite seems to have caught on to
Ultimate's trick of bringing out two
games using the same techniques. Try
imagining Grand National with Porsches
instead of horses and you're halfway
there. Pretty boring. 1/5
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DON'T BUY THIS
Firebird / £2.50
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Dave: The games included on this tape are
apparently the worst games submitted to
Firebird for publication. Two of them star
a puppy called Fido who has to flatten
moles with his tail while avoiding birds
flying overhead - both games are
original and well worth a couple of
minutes' attention. Race Ace is another
'also-ran', featuring a character-sized car
moving around a single-screen plan view
race track - there are two speeds:
tediously slow or ridiculously fast!
Moving on, there's Weasel Willy and a
Fruit Machine.
And that's really what you want to do
when you're checking out this one ...
'move on'. The games aren't that bad as
do-it-yourself games but, they won't
provide that much fun. Take a
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good look
at the words printed on the outside of the
package before you buy ... the title
of the package really
does say it all. 1/5
Ross: Treat the title of this game like a
Government Health Warning ... except
this time, take notice of it! Believe me,
the Spectrum loading pattern is much
more exciting than the game. 1/5
Roger: Well, I for one will certainly buy it
They may not be great games, but they're
fun ... and that must count for quite a lot!
At least you know what
you're getting! 2/5
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VIDEO POOL
OCP / £5.95
Roger: As much as I deeply hate the
infestation of most of my favourite liquid
recreation facilities
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with 8-ball pool
tables, used by cretins who waste good
drinking time, I found myself appalled by
a distinct liking for this game -
evidenced by the fact that I sat playing it
for hours. Apart from a slight aberration
in that the Speccy version only appears to
have six balls, content is generally faithful
to the real thing.
The computer gives you a choice of
large or small pockets before starting and
then frame up the balls, which are
marked with values that multiply with the
marked values on the pockets. Sighting is
done by moving a target crosshair around
the border of the table and the force
beyond your stroke is self-governed by a
simple system of letting an on-screen scale
rise whilst holding the 'fire' key down.
Releasing it wallops the ball with the
appropriate amount of oof.
Beyond this basic game, which can be
played
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by two people and continue for
frame after frame as long as the three
'lives' aren't lost through foul shots or
stuffing the black down an orifice,
variations are available to experts, like
potting balls in a set order. There is also
an 'edit' facility, allowing superstars to
'set up' interesting problems on the table.
It could put the breweries
out of business ... 4/5
Ross: "Oh no, not another pool game", I
hear you say. Well, you're in for a
surprise - there are lots of nice graphics
and a darn good game of pool, with all the
usual options plus a great
'Edit the Table' feature. ?/?
Dave: If you're on the market for a pool
game, then this is the
one for you. 3/5
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| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
|
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Hill MacGibbon / £9.95
Ross: Well, the box looks nice ... and
inside there's a great book, Roald Dahl's
Charlie And
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The Chocolate Factory. Oh
yes, there's also a cassette with five games
on it, but the less said about that the
better!
Based on various episodes in the book,
the four games on side one of the tape
load as one and can be accessed in any
order from a menu. However, you're
going to have to beat all four games on
side one to get the code you'll need to
start playing the game on side two.
The first game features Augustus
Gloop being squirted around the maze of
tubes of the sweet-making machine -
your task is to guide him safely to the
flask. Game two has Violet Beauregarde
directing deadly blueberries at you from
gaps in the wall of the juicing room. In
the third game, Veruca Salt has to fend
off squirrels with poisonous nuts and
lastly, game four depicts Mike Teavee in
a levels game collecting chocolate bars
whilst avoiding killer
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TV cameras.
The game on the other side is a sort of
Jet Set Willy clone, but it's not good
enough to make up for the games on side
one. Overall, I'd say the package was
overpriced, with the best item
being the book. 2/5
Dave: I loved the film, but the game
doesn't quite live up to it. There's a lot of
variety, but I found the individual games
frustrating as they were either
too easy or too hard. 2/5
Roger: Well, if you've read the book and
seen the film, you'd be well-advised to
miss the game. Seeing as how Roald Dahl
is usually known for his horror stories,
he'll probably be very happy
with the Spectrum version! 2/5
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DON'T PANIC
Firebird / £2.50
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Dave: How many games seem to be
centred around the goings-on of a loading
bay? Are they really such interesting
places? Probably not ... but then again,
the games they inspire aren't that
interesting either!
Don't Panic has you controlling a droid
working in the loading bay, and it's your
job to get it zooming around the screen
loading odd bits and pieces in a rocket;
you do this by purifying the screen with
your laser and then pushing them into the
hold with further blasts from your laser.
Which all sounds easy, until someone
mentions the indestructible alien that's
hanging around to spoil all your fun.
The goods you've to pack on to the
rocket are all good fun, such as poisonous
Teddy Bears and so on, but overall the
game is quite
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frustrating. The fact that
the alien can not only move faster than
you, but also manage to deal out death
with astonishing accuracy, just made the
whole affair rather boring after a while.
Arcade aces will probably find it a
reasonable challenge, but there isn't
enough variety here to
make it a classic. 2/5
Ross: This ain't a bad game at all. Good
graphics and a simple idea make for a
game that's compulsive
and tricky. 3/5
Roger: And I thought this would have
something to do with Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy. How wrong I was! Still,
it's not a bad little number ...
pretty piccies anyway. 3/5
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FALCON PATROL 2
Virgin Games / £7.95
|
Roger: It would be easy to heap abuse on
this game, but I'm not sure whether it
really deserves it!
The format of aerial combat with
relatively limited sophistication in VTOL
aircraft control, some repetitive scrolling
scenery and a variety of unpleasant
helicopters bopping about looking for a
missile in the laughing gear, is so tired
and unoriginal that I started groaning as
soon as it was loaded ...
Assuming that it'd take less time to get
good at - and bored with - than it takes
Pete Shaw to hack into a ham sandwich, I
scrambled into action and discovered that
it was just a little bit tougher than first
expected. Learning 'vectoring' and the
technique of diving to fire missiles
downwards stretched my involvement
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and, finally, I got a bit hooked.
Sure, it's corny. Nevertheless, it's
competent arcade thuggery and, if
valued as such, earns
its keep. 3/5
Dave: Deep down, I've always wanted to
blast helicopters out of the sky ... trouble
is, most programs don't give you that
authenticity. Falcon Patrol 2, on the
other hand, fulfills all of my
warmongering ambitions. Great stuff
let's see more, please. 4/5
Ross: The graphics in this game are
amazing ... top marks to Virgin's back-
room programmers. A vast improvement
over Falcon Patrol. 5/5
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BATTLE FOR MIDWAY
PSS / £9.95
|
Dave: Wargames seem to be in vogue -
which means that the quality of said
games is improving by leaps and bounds.
This is true in part for Battle For Midway. The game, as the name implies,
places you in charge of the American
fleet around Midway island just after the
bombing of Pearl Harbour. The layout of
the screen comprises a map - and
various status screens are available for
you to discover pointers on how the
enemy is doing.
The naff bit for me came when the Japs
came flying in out of the sun - the action
suddenly altered to arcadia. It suddenly
becomes your task to shoot down the
enemy planes and sink their boats as well.
Perhaps I'm being old-fashioned but I
prefer a
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wargame to be a strategic affair,
and not a game that's decided on the
speed of pressing the keys. As a result,
Battle For Midway ends up being
between arcade and wartime simulation
- although I'm happy to report that
strategists with a forgiving
nature will enjoy it. 3/5
Roger: Pretty sophisticated stuff this.
Couldn't understand a word of it, mind
you, but that probably means that all you
would-be-warmongers will
have fun. 3/5
Ross: Yet another wargame. The playing
area's a bit cramped, the graphics aren't
too hot and it's incredibly
slow! 1/5
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| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
|
FAHRENHEIT 3000
Firebird / £2.50
Ross: How come the software houses are
still
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churning out Jet Set Willy lookalikes?
Who knows ... but here's another one!
The scenario this time is to shut down
the Dragon nuclear reactor and prevent it
from melting down. To achieve this
you've got to close off 64 (count 'em)
pressure valves before the core reaches
3000 degrees. Time is obviously limited,
what with all that leaking radiation
hanging about, but all you've got to do to
turn off a valve is to touch them. Of
course, if it's already leaking you're in a
spot of trouble ...
At first glance, all of these games look
fairly similar - but in play, few come up
to the high standard set by Jet Set Willy
or Manic Miner. Unfortunately,
Fahrenheit 3000 is no exception. The
incredible jumping power of our hero
makes the game a bit tricky to play
-
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probably the result of too much
radiation. The graphics are fairly
standard, a bit sparse and flickery too.
It's a shame that too much reverence
has been placed on the MMs and JSWs of
this world - a copy is never
as good as the original. 1/5
Dave: Yet another JSW lookalike, but
with superior jumping abilities and
smoother graphics. For £2.50 it's
probably worth it but I, for one, am
getting really bored with
this sort of game. 1/5
Roger: Now where have I seen this little
lot before? Good grief, JSW's got more
clones than Boy George! Why can't
someone come up with something
original for a change? 2/5
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| | | |
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| R O S S ' S R A V E O F T H E M O N T H
|
HERBERT'S DUMMY RUN
MikroGen / £9.95
Ross: Herbert last showed his face as the
little nipper crawling around biting ankles in
Everyone's A Wally. But now he's been
elevated to appear in his own adventure.
And hasn't he grown! Herbert's now an
inquisitive toddler and he's wandered off
unattended into a large department store. Of
course, being 'wallies', his folks Wilma and
Wally have deposited themselves in the 'Lost
and Found' office and are awaiting Herbert's
return. Herbert, on the other hand, has quite
a journey on his hands - as he searches all
over the various departments in the store for
his parents.
When you first start the game, the
colourful background and smooth sprite
movement will impress you the most.
Herbert is made up of quite a small graphic,
but he's only a youngster and he does move
well! The little chap has three lives and he
can carry up to two objects at a time; picking
up objects is done in the time-honoured
tradition of walking over them.
Herbert can move more or less anywhere
he likes in the store, but if you want to get on
you'll have to give some thought to matching
up the various 'finds' along the way. Some ot
the screens require jumping and timing skills
whereas other screens are much simpler; for
instance, one screen reminds me of
Breakout.
Of course, overall, the humour we've
come to expect from MikroGen wins out. I'd
have no problems recommending
this game ... 5/5
Dave: The usual high-quality graphics and a
standard MikroGen storyline. Great if you
like all the others. 2/5
Roger: I knew they'd do it eventually - at
last we've got an arcade game set in a
shopping arcade! Wally fans will love it. My
only complaint is that it wasn't all
set in Mothercare. 4/5
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| This is the Toy department - and
that's exactly where you'd expect our be-nappied
hero, Herbert, to be hanging out.
|
| To open the door, Herbert must leap up
at the handles - but first, he's going to
have to get past those spinning tops. Each
time Herbert hits one of the tops, the tear-drop
fills up ... and when it does, he'll have lost
one of his three lives.
|
| Jumping on top of the Jack-in-the-Box will
blast young Herbert up to the dizzy heights
of the top levels. It won't help you much, but
he will be nearer the honey-pot which he'll
need if he's going to deal with the Teddy Bear.
| Herbert's status is shown as the large tear-drop - as
this fills up so Herbert gets more
and more unhappy ... and less co-operative!
The smaller tear-drops indicate
how many lives our heroic youngster has left.
|
| Indicated here are the objects young Herbert has
in tow, complete with a brief description of what
they are. To pick up a new object, simply walk over it and
leave one of your possessions behind (you're only
allowed to carry two objects at a time).
|
|
Indicated here are the objects young Herbert has
in tow, complete with a brief description of what
they are. To pick up a new object, simply walk over it and
leave one of your possessions behind (you're only
allowed to carry two objects at a time).
|
| The pop-gun in the middle of the screen is
empty - young Herbert has to get the cork
and then he'll stand a chance of shooting
the duck out of the swimming pool. I wonder
if the RSPCA knows all this is going on?
| Here we are in the Sports department, and
Herbert's in dire need of some sticky
sustenance - sweets to you - to build up
his strength. To get past this room, all
Herbert has to do is get past the bouncing
tennis balls without getting hit too much ...
|
