B A N G !
Pssst. Hey, you. Wanna become a hundred per
cent real person? NO, this ain't no jibe. Peter
Shaw and Louise Cook welcome you to the
Pleasuredome to talk it over ...
Welcome to the Pleasuregame, says
Ocean, and you're welcome to try it, says
us. Frankie may go to Hollywood, but
here in Mundanesville life ain't so easy
for the likes of Lenny Lowscore.
Picture downtown Liverpoole, a
downmarket version of Brookside Close,
those typical Beatlesque back-to-backs -
this is your lot in life, being a zilcho
percent person. Wouldn't you find the
Pleasuredome an irresistible temptation?
So along comes Flash Frank, passing the
pleasure pills and taunting you to trade in
your UB40 for a life of leisure. And what
do you have to do? Frank would pass
your task off as simple, but where do you
start, Lenny Lowscore?
Having been trained in the Merseyside
Mothers + Toddlers Muggers
Association, you're already clued up on
the finer points of breaking and entering.
Once inside the terraced treasure-
trove, there's lotsa goodies for the taking
- including those pleasure pills Frankie
promised. Although most of the doors
are already open, Tricia Tenant has left
some handy keys around for those that
aren't. Check out the kitchen, and
amongst the clutter you'll see such
delights as milk, fish and floppy disks.
Not too exciting - but hang on to them,
Frankie works in mysterious ways.
You've got a long journey ahead of
you - don't overdose on the Pleasure
pills, once your supply has run out you'll
be lucky to find a pusher in
Mundanesville. Relax Lenny Lowscore -
aren't just a fantasy of the pill popping
antics - you've got to do well to prove
yourself as a real person.
Once you're street wise enough,
Frankie presents you with a game of
psuedo-Cluedo. Miss Mundane lies dead
in the sitting room, killed by an unknown
object by an unknown person - solve
that one Lenny, you'll need to to become
a real person - remember!
Lust + Fear + Love + Faith x Frankie
= a tough task for Lenny. Don't relax -
go to it!
The path to the Pleasuredome is perilous, so persevere. Our plan follows a
typical game of Frankie. Just by looking at the background colours on the
screens you can tell which of the pleasure measures will be affected by your
actions. As soon as each of the four pleasure powers is filled to the brim,
you're on your way to the big BANG! - at the top of each bar chart. As you can
see we couldn't manage it - but then you probably know that we're not real
|Follow the yellow brick road - to the pink door. Behind here you'll find an
open back door that'll transport you onto another street. And if you want to
watch telly, look out for the aerials.
||THE STREET |
|Back to t'roots in Mundanesville, eh lad! You're going to find life ain't a
bed of roses. When you start on your search, it's an idea to set off slowly,
and systematically check everything.
||Welcome to Coronation Street land. There are four identical streets in Frankie
- only the colours of the doors change. Pink means the house has a back door
and red tells you the second door in the kitchen leads to an arcade game.
|This boxed-off bit lets you know how many bases you have left. If you're
baseless then wave goodbye to the game.
||BATTLE OVER MERSEYSIDE |
|The planes aren't the problem - the bombs are. If you want to keep your
bases then you're going to have to shoot down the bombs before they blow.
||It may seem a trifle laid-back but our top tactic for this game is to sit
in the middle and keep your finger on the fire button. As soon as you start
jigging around, you'll start to miss everything.
|The aim of the game is to build the ZTT logo but to do it, you'll have to
press the buttons in the right order. A handy hint is to start in the top
left hand corner and finish where the finger is now.
||THE ZTT ROOM |
|As soon as you've broken down the barrier at the beginning, this stairway
springs into action.
||Start by shooting down an armed barrier. The slow but safe method is to
hotfoot it in, fire one shot and then hightail it out again. Trouble is
you'll be collecting your pension before you're finished.
|This ain't no Habitat heaven - more a Shabitat let-down. But you're going
to have to check out every drawer, retirement clock and video recorder in
your pursuit of Pleasure pills ...
||THE SITTING ROOM |
|As things start to come right for you, Frankie rewards you with pleasure
power on this bar graph. When all four peak, the equation: Lust + Fear +
Love + Faith x Frankie is complete. BANG!
||To open these drawers, you'll need to adopt the typical Merseyside strut -
with arm outstretched. It's what your right arm's for! Sometimes you'll find,
though, that it just isn't enough - and then you'll really have to stre-e-e-tch
for the high spots.
|Give us a Cluedo - this has all the cloak 'n' dagger elements of the full
blown Basil Rathbone (no, not Baron Rathbone - BASIL! He made films stupido!)
||MURDER, MYSTERY AND SUSPENSE |
|You'll turn up clues to the whodunnit as you wander around the other rooms.
It's elementary my dear Frankie.
||You've got no chance of answering the quiz until you've uncovered all the
clues. So, if you wander back to this room and you're asked whodunnit, don't
fret that you've missed a clue - Frankie says relax.
|Even defective detectives have a good chance here. Once you've found the body,
the clues appear as if by magic. Being a gumshoe was never this cushy in the
|So, Miss Bland has a son in the RAF, huh? Well, if Frankie says the killer has
no children then she's in the clear. Otherwise bear her in mind for the court
||It's all a case of logical deduction. Write down the clues and cross off the
suspects as you go. When you're left with just one name uncleared, set off
for the sitting room and accuse your suspect.
|As you get better, the game gets harder - typical that! The number of hits
you have to make increases rapidly - you start off needing only 21 in 200
but it can rocket to 25 or more.
||THE SHOOTING GALLERY |
|It's Maggie - just one of the host of targets you have to shoot at -
popping up at random on the firing range. Your best bet is to position
yourself in the middle of the screen.
||Your gun sight automatically returns to this point when you're not pushing
it elsewhere. After you've shot a bullet, it's a good idea to let the sight
fall back here for re-loading. It's trickier than you think trying to take
|Worrisit then? Is it a skateboard? Is it a hula-hoop? No, it's the lust
symbol on its edge - and it's just waiting to swallow you up.
||THE SEA OF HOLES |
|You'll only have to take your chances on this game the once to earn your
pleasure power, so steer well clear of it. Why? 'Cos it'll bore you all
the way back to Mundanesville, that's why!
||Here you have to make it to the purple line. Trouble is, it's all down to
chance and where you're thrown out of the hole.
|It's the boy-wonder of the B-movie, Ronnie Raygun. You take his part here
on the left, while the Russkies are on the right. Sounds like someone's
got the politics slightly skew-whiff!
||WAR OF WORDS |
|The Russians are coming - make sure you get 'em before they get you.
Sacrifice one of your barriers and when the Moscow muppet is firing you
only need to go up one step to shoot.
||Your missiles make it through your layer of defences but break up the
computer's. If you've got a partly destroyed defence barrier on your side,
it'll build back to full strength if you fire at it.
|Every second or so, one of these windows pops up and fires out a pleasure
symbol. All you have to do is shoot it as it flies past - and the pleasure
is all yours.
||WAR - GO FOR IT ... |
|As soon as you've popped a pleasure symbol another window will appear -
just walk right into the next bit of arcade action.
||If you miss a symbol and it hits you instead then you risk being put
straight back onto the streets. And watch out if you're caught behind a
window - you can get zapped without even realising it.
|To enter the arcade, just walk into the window. It's a whole new world in
there. Playschool eat your heart out!
||PUSSY GALORE |
|The Power of Love. Too much attention to love makes the heart grow fonder
but it ain't going to make you a real person - keep your eye on these
so you can pop a pill if things get low.
||Fill the cat's bowl with milk from the bottle and you'll probably run into
the moggy as he comes for a quick slurp. As a reward, pussy will give you
an arcade to play.
|Hey, this is really way out, man. Actually, it's the way out - your escape
route. From here it's back onto the streets or into another arcade game.
But don't look for a plan - it's all random.
||THE CORRIDORS OF POWER |
|Jumpin' Jehosophat! Watch out for Frankie's great balls of fire while
you're on your travels. Zap 'em and new doors shall be opened unto you!
||As you make your mark in Mundanesville, you're gonna start clocking the wicker work gates. So, what are they for? Well, c'mon in ... you'll find yourself in surroundings not unlike these.
|Leave here and you'll be back in back-to-back land on another Coronation
Street look-alike. But remember - there's a whole new set of objects to
add to your collection there.
||THE KITCHEN |
|PLEASURE PILL! PLEASURE PILL! Wow, man, can hardly wait to get hold of the
promised power-pushin', score-liftin', real-man-makin' antidotes to
||Here's everything plus the kitchen sink - but there's not much in the
way of kitchen sink drama. You'll find the objects you're after in the
drawers, fridge and on the worktops. The hot programs are keeping cool
in the fridge - take them to the computer room to use them.
|If you want to get passed, get a pass! You'll need security clearance to
make your way round the computer, so remember to pick up a pass at the
||THE COMPUTER ROOM |
|Put your floppy disks into the computer but mind out - they have a nasty
habit of being corrupted. Sounds remarkably like Microdrives!
||For the power-crazy, this ornamental gateway leads you to the Corridors
of Power. But this is no flak free zone - so, remember to take your flak
jacket with you.
|So, Sherlock, you've solved the case - but don't come over all smug
'cos there's still some way to go before you become a real person and
take a trip to that Pleasuredome.
||CASE SOLVED |
|If you can't crack the case then tough! - no way will Frankie let you
carry on your quest for ultimate pleasure.
||This time you've cracked the case, but it'll be a completely different
story next game. And remember to make notes while playing the whodunnit
or you'll have no chance of solving the mystery.