St Mary's, Isles of Scilly
Oh, it was nothing really - nice of you to mention it. Bask, bask. Not that we can take all the credit (Oh, yes we ruddy well can! Ed). OK, we're taking all the credit but if anyone wants to thank Saga or acquire their own free and gratis add- on, give 'em a ring on (04862) 22777. Troubleshootin 'Pete.
KEYBOARD KLUTZIf you've got a 'real' Speccy keyboard, here are a couple of tips. If you want the dull thud of an IBM rather than the cheap klack as you hit each key, try the draught excluder method. This involves carefully prising off each key and laying strips of rubber draught excluder under each line of keys so that they hit it just at the end of its travels. You'll find this method works well with the Dk'tronics, Fuller, FDS, Transform and the new LMT.
Another trick to make the keys feel more solid is to invert each individual key and fill them with plasticene or hot candle wax!
Swords, Co. Dublin And if you come over here, boys and girls, I've got one that we prepared earlier. What d'you mean, it's dripping candle wax all over the floor? How was I to know you were going to switch it on and use it? You know how hot they get! Hahem, on to the next item, kiddies ... Ed.
DOUBLE TROUBLEHellooo. I'm writing on two matters of intergalactic importance. First, referring to ish 18, I have not, nor wish to have any connection with this Rump Numbrain person who is just an unoriginal wally. (Phew, I'm glad we got that one straight. People were starting to talk. Ed)
Secondly, I'm appealing to
|f o r u m|
If you've got something to say for yourself, then speak out! The star letter writer is in for a bundle of free software! Mail us a missive to Forum, Your Spectrum, 14 Rathbone Place, London W1P 1DE.
This command gets around
the problems involved in a
'crash set' ERR_SP by resetting this system variable. Also,
there's no need for an EI, as
this command is automatically
executed at the end of the
routine. Plus, the RST 8 is now
redundant as NEW eventually
drops back into Basic anyway.|
If all this sounds too good to be true, let me admit now that there is one disadvantage. You'll find that the system variables RAMTOP, P_RAMT, RASP, PIP and UDG are preserved by the routine but you can skirt round this with a bit of judicious POKEing (or LDing).
The only other minor annoyance is that any screen display is erased and you can't get round this with any amount of POKEs. But if all you're after is a spot of hacking, then this shouldn't have you tearing your hair out.
Now this really was an obvious piece of coding, so come on Ed, give Pennell a POKE up the user prot.
Founder member of the 'I think Gollum deserved everything he got' society.
I've consulted all the major medical dictionaries but as yet no luck on locating Andy's prot. If this is another sordid example of the Shaw family sending each other coded messages in their fiendish bid to take over this letters paaagh ... Ed. Now he knows where his prot is! Well, we Shaws have got to stick together. T.P. Grrr ... pass the superglue ... Ed.
SPACE INVADERNow look here Mr so-called Editor, I am a v. annoyed Speccy owner from Caversham, somewhere on the third moon of Jupiter and I have several problems. (You're telling me! So-called Ed). OK, insanity is one of them. 1 Why do I pay a six horned paper thing that rode all the way to your planet and back to fetch me YS only to find that they do not accept Mega noodles as currency in your mangey newsagents?
2 When I got YS 18 in my scaly paw I typed in the JSW II POKEs only to find that Eddie, my computer, NEWed. Is it me, is it Eddie or is the management prepared to accept responsibility?
3 There's no Star Letter in the August ish. Now come on, the drink can't affect you boys and girls at Castle Rathbone that much, can it?
4 If you don't print this I'll
Thomas 'The Original Erauqs' Smith
No, tell me it's not true. (It's not true. T.P.) Tell me there can't be two of them. (There can't be two of them. T.P.) I couldn't stand it if they both kept writing in repeating each other. (... repeating each other. T.P.) Aaargh! Ed.
NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESSFinally, you've driven me to dig out my copy of Tasword Two and pen this letter of complaint. Well, not a real complaint but a slap in the face for T.P. Take that. (Ouch, that hurt! TP.) In YS 18, he came up with a method of using the screen by addressing it directly. Could he have made it any more long-winded or more difficult? (Probably. Ed) Now, here comes my program. Just type in this code using an assembler or hex loader - aaaargh! (Well he hit me first! TP.)
All numbers are in hex.
Now to use the program, POKE the two co-ordinates and run the code then PEEK the address and bit number. The address is contained in the location where the HL registers were saved. So, why couldn't T.P. do that? (Where shall I start? Ed)
Please note that I haven't done any crawling. I've also not asked for a Trainspotter Award
Bet you think you're really clever don't you? But your solution hasn't got any pretty diagrams, has it? Na nardy na. Troubleshootin 'Pete.
FROM BAD TO VERSEIn computing circles (so I've heard it said)
There's a growing concern for a fellow called Ed.
He writes weird little comments on letters he's read
And we think that he isn't quite right in the head!
To add to the problem he's joined by a freak
With the terrible title of Troubleshootin' Pete
(Poetic licence, that bit) (Huh, off licence, you mean! TP.)
We've tried to decide which one is the worse -
But they're neither as bad as this horrible verse!
Miss J R Wood
Well, JR, what can I say?
Your verse quite takes my breath away,
T P.'s a freak, I must agree,
But what's this rot you say about me?
Writing here does take some guts
'Cos reading your letters just drives me nuts! Ed.
keep phoning T.P. and tell him
how mega amazing he is and
what a good editor he'd make
until he's unbearable.|
From just your normal average one horned, three eyed guy,
1 Change your newsagent, or better still take out a subscription.
2 The management admits nuzzing. It's you but it could be Eddie. Have you tried using a Spectrum?
4 More unbearable? Impossible! Ed
CUT UP ROUGHYahoo! Yippee! Ha haa! Whoop! Wahoo! (Pass the scissors, Pete, I'm gonna have to exercise my editorial prerogative. Snip! Ed). Whoo- eee! Whahoo! Eureka! (Still there, eh? Snip, snip. Ed). Burp, yeuch. (SNIP! Ed). I've found it, I've found it, I've (OK, wise guy, you were warned, here comes the
editorial red pen. Take that.
Ed). Say, those JSW II POKEs
sure are good. Of course, I
could've told you how to crack
it but I didn't want to show you
up in front of your fan.
(Careful. The pen is on
Finally, I know who this month's trainspotter is. Yep, it's yours truly! (Well, it's not - so all you're getting is an editorial short back and sides. Ed).
Roy Bridge, Bonnie Scotland
P.S. I'm a Devonian by birth.
I knew there had to be an explanation. T.P. went to Devon on his hols this year and he's never been the same since. Not that he was the same before, of course. Ed.
YOU CAN 'AVE 'IM ...I have kidnapped Dave Nicholls. Unless you send me a Porsche 924, a Trainspotter Award, a Discovery 1 disk drive, a VTX 5000 modem and
£1 million worth of Speccy
software, he will be released.|
Anyway back to semi-sanity. You made a right cock-up of last month's YS, didn't you? (There now follows a string of falsehoods, libellous accusations and perfidious pretenses that won't make it to the page, as no Trainspotter Award is forthcoming. Ed). Were you so gobsmacked at the disappearance of the hairy Hacker? If not, why not? If you give me the aforementioned objects, I may persevere in perusing your puny pamphlet. If not, I'll tell all my mates (Think of a number less than two and then halve it! Ed) not to read your mag. OK? (OK! Ed).
P.S. Hurry up with the ransom, he's getting up my nose.
Brian 'Wimpo' Hitch
Grimsby, Sth Humberside
OK, OK you win - the goodies are in the post. All except the Trainspotter Award - you must know by now that no-one has ever managed to beg, borrow, steal or blackmail one of these coveted awards. And may his Hairyness forever moult over your carpet. Ed.
Through rain and shine, I battled my way through Frank
Bruno's Boxing. My head was
smashed in by the Canadian
Crusher and my ribs were decimated by Fling Long Chop.
But finally I came through and
KOed Peter Perfect - and for
what I ask? I'll tell you what -
a bit of cheap advertising for
Scooby Doo and a line about
extra boxers on a new tape! So
now my thoughts are so rebellious
to good ol' Franky and
the Elite mob that I've negotiated
with my pet do to dish
out the vibes to all the wimps
who can't play the big fist on
their own. First though, you'll
have to use my game name
JAY, before entering the following EVBA membership
|Fling Long Chop||A9SINBD9A|
|THE YS TRAINSPOTTER AWARD|
|Ah-ha! think you can catch
all of us mere mortals out by
changing the piccies round,
OK, it's just because I don't work at YS and I don't get sudden urges to start rambling on about large amounts of Hex - my simple computer logic is: IF object = game THEN PLAY object, ELSE leave for someone else to explain it.
Rambling again. This letter's about my amazing bit of trainspotting in YS 18. Correct me if I'm wrong (Don't worry, we will. Ed) - I mean I only have Quackshot - but, you appear to have swopped the screen shot with some unknown game called Metabolis. [Note]
Please can I have a Trainspotter Award, nice Mr Headman, he whose shining armpits are the very substance of life to so many YS underlings (T.P. included). (That's what you think, matey. I wouldn't like to tell you what sustains me through the long hard grind that is YS, but it's certainly not his lordship's armpits. T.P.)
Peter Plumbley, but to all
|sane people, Matthew Exley,
14 + 2 weeks.|
Easton -in- Gordano, Bristol
C'mon, made-up name, made-up town, in-Gordano my foot. But you're still this month's trainspotter. And for why, you ask? Well, just look at what I had to wade through. Threats from Crispin 'Hawkeyes' Tucker - "this is voted Trainspotter Award by my gerbils, Harry and Angus, who'll bite your ankles if it isn't". Oh no, not the gerbils. Or this from a Vogon called D B Edwards, "So, Earthlings, I present you with a simple choice, either die in the vacuum of space ... or tell me I've won the award." Such is the hoover of life, eh? Then there are jokes like this one from Paul Edwards - "I went to the Costa del Sol for my holiday this year, does this make me worthy of the Spain Trotter award?" Did I say jokes? And then there's Chris Richardson going for the sympathy vote, "Just send the award to the above address and I'll be happy. If you don't I shall cry." You're all gonna have to do better than this next month! Ed.