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| D O U G I E ' S R A V E O F T H E M O N T H
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CRITICAL MASS
Durell Software / £8.95
Dougie: This is the biz! Critical Mass is one of
those all too rare games that combines some
of the tried and tested methods of a golden
oldie, Asteroids, with plenty of new and
refreshing elements.
Far out (Man? Ed) in the galaxy, at the outer
edge of man's expansion, a colony of humans
is under attack - only this time the aliens are
being very sneaky about their subterfuge.
Now there's none of the old full frontal
onslaught - after aeons of playing computer
games we humans have learned how to
handle that! No, they've sneaked in the back
door and captured the colony power supply
that's located on an asteroid. It's from there
that they're threatening self-destruction
unless the colonists capitulate immediately.
Stay calm - help is at hand!
You have to penetrate the alien defences on
the asteroid and disable the anti-matter plant
before it can reach Critical Mass. That's the
only way of ensuring that the asteroid and
everything else within a few billion light years
of it, doesn't disappear down an extremely
large black hole.
You hover above the barren surface of the
asteroid in your land skimmer - a tricky task
on its own as it's a ground effect vehicle and
so extremely hard to manoeuvre. Plus, you
must also defend yourself against marauding
alien ships, look out for rocks and watch out
that you don't run over the land mines. If your
ship is hit, it'll eject you just before it's blown
to smithereens, so you've a chance to reach a
replacement pod. But keep a sharp eye out for
the Dune-style worm creatures that come
wrigglin' and writhin' out of the sand on the
trail of breakfast.
The graphics and playability of this game are
superb, making it well worth the money. 9/10
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Your ship uses a
hovercraft-style
principle so it's pretty
tricky to control. You
have to turn the ship in
the direction you want
and then apply the
thrust in the opposite -
direction!
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Mined the Gap!
Stationary landmines
are no hassle but the
spinners move around
and are almost always
fatal if you hit them ...
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Alien ships don't
really harm you but
they do get in the way
and slow you down.
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When you're flying,
the arrow shows the
direction of the next
alien attack wave. If
the ship is destroyed,
it shows the direction
of the nearest
emergency pool.
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The place is riddled
with Sandworms,
particularly if you're
using your emergency
jetpack. But they can't
actually kill you as
long as you've got
some energy left!
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Mind the rocks and
heaps of jagged
crystals as they'll
drain your shield if
you hit them.
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Don't go crazy with
the laser - you've
only got a limited
amount of energy and
you'll need it to make
it to the next zone ...
|
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This indicator keeps
track of your score
and the time left till the
reactor blows - when
it reaches zero, it's all
over folks!
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| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
|
ASTROCLONE
Hewson Consultants / £7.95
Ross: Not only is this game a follow on
from the arcade adventure Dragontorc
but also from the Seiddab Trilogy. It's
obvious innit 'cos it combines similar
adventure sequences and
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arcade action.
In the adventure sequence you control a
figure who is on a space station moving
from room to room in a search for hidden
objects. Control is much the same as in
other games except that you can request
your figure to perform different actions.
Pressing the fire button displays a series
of icons that allow you to move the figure
around, move both his arms
independently and control a laser.
Objects can be picked up, carried and
dropped with the arms.
The status area in the bottom centre of
the screen displays your laser's energy
level, the available oxygen and any
objects you're carrying. This part of the
game is very similar to other Hewson
productions but it does have a few twists.
Well, what about the arcade action I
hear you cry. In this section of the game
you must gain control of your 24 fighter
craft so you can
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destroy the Seiddab fleet
encroaching into various local star
systems in a last ditch attempt (we hope)
to destroy civilisation as we know it. It
plays very like Defender which is pretty
good considering the memory that it must
have been squeezed into.
Hewson has made an excellent attempt
at mixing two completely different styles
of game in Astroclone but I can't help
wondering whether this will appeal to the
buying public. The question is, do
adventurers want to play the zappy bits
and do arcade freaks want to solve the
puzzles? 7/10
Rick: Oh no! Not another Avalon
clone! There's no peace for the wicked. 4/10
Dougie: Avalon was never in itself state of
the art but it has a big following so I've
no doubt it will sell by default alone. 7/10
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RUPERT THE BEAR AND THE TOYMAKER'S PARTY
Quicksilva / £7.99
Rick: Hey, this one is really weird man!
See, there's this bear who wears these
wacky yanky
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golfing pants and he can
walk, jump and - wait for it - climb the
stairs. But he doesn't drink lager, well this
is one for the kids, innit?
Rupert (that's the bear's name kids) has
got to collect his many invitations to see
his even weirder friends Bill the Badger
and Podgy the Pig - you know one of
those parties! Well Rupert needs more
invitations than Podgy's had hot dinners,
and not only that, naughty toy soldiers
and toy trains try to trip him up along the
way, though some will be very good
sports and help him. They'll need to 'cos
you have to go through four linked
screens for each of the eight levels.
Unfortunately Rupert also has an
embarrassing speech impediment which
means all the screen instructions are in
dum-di-dum rhyming couplets which will
maim many an innocent ear to the power
of poetry.
The toymaker's castle, its corridors and
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castellations were presumably built by
Barrett - or does that reflect the quality
of the graphics? Rupert does look quite a
lot like he did in the comic, though some
wish he'd stay there. Oh, and he still
wears that scarf to hide his love bites.
Quicksilva hasn't aimed so much at the
mega-tots but their spinster aunts who
feel that if Toby or Fenella have to have
one of those awful computer games then
this safe, competent platform game is the
one to get. I'm afraid though that little
Toby will be out on the corner with that
vulgar Wayne doing a deal for a quick
Buck Rogers. 4/10
Ross: Frankie goes to the toymaker's
party in this cute number. Not as good as
the (dare I say it?) Commie version, but
it'll do. 6/10
Dougie: Frankly, I'd still prefer a copy of
the annual in my Christmas stocking. 4/10
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| | | | |
| R I C K ' S R A V E O F T H E M O N T H
|
THE CUSTARD KID
New Generation / £4.95
Rick: Well scroll on, New Generation's
Custard Kid is the one to play with your
spotted dick - if you see what I mean. The
Custard Kid is a variation on the old favourite
Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, but
this time Our Kid, who shows no yellow
streak and is certainly not one for the Birds,
has to search a custard factory to find 12
recipes. Funny I only know one way to make
the stuff - open can, pour into saucepan ...
With over 600 locations it wouldn't just be
Laurel and Hardy who'd enjoy the custard
pie potential of this game, which incidentally
has a 'find an object and save it for a rainy
day' facility. If you wanna be a successful
cordon bleu of blancmange you'll have to do
the mapping yourself!
You're in a bit of a sticky situation 'cos you
gotta search the scrolling yellow corridors
before you go for the chests with coloured
keys. These keys are used to open certain
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Keys aren't reusable
but doors once
unlocked stay
unlocked. Once a key
has been put in a door,
the appropriate
window turns black.
| 
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Custard features can
only pick something
up if he's not already
holding something.
Fortunately, his
cavernous pockets
hold a great deal ...
|
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If it moves, it's
dangerous. One false
step and you could be
reduced to a bottle of
St Ivel Five Pints.
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The milk bottles show
how much life you have
left ... and no, milking
the cow just doesn't
help!
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|
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Every screen has its closed chest. Walk over
it to discover what's inside - it could be a
key, a nastie or even a copper!
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rooms, one of which may contain the custard
detector. You'll also have to fill up with milky
victuals to keep the stamina up. Only then
can you pass to the green corridor to look for
those illustrious recipes.
But you'll need a lotta bottle to search
those chests - they might contain the
yellow peril - the feared custard monsters
or even worse the custodians of the custard
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who'll send you to jail. Along the way a few
useful Items can turn up - money to bribe
the guards, spoons to devour the custard
monster, whose help might mean a grapple
with a globule isn't Kid Custard's last stand.
Non-sexist, non-racist and very very violent
(and extremely messy) this is one for jelly
and ice cream and good games freaks
everywhere. 9/10
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| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
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GRUMPY GUMPHREY SUPERSLEUTH
Gremlin Graphics / £7.95
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Ross: Poor ol' Grumpy Gumphrey. It's a
hard life being a store defective -
especially when you're getting on a bit
and you reckon it's about time to take
things easier. I mean, the shoplifters are
getting younger and it's hard to spot them
if the old eyes aren't what they used to
be. On top of that the boss is out to get
you, as he thinks you're a lazy old beep
and he's got you running errands all over
the place. So you'd better be on your toes
'cos as soon as you put a foot wrong,
you're out on your ear, P45 an' all!
Your day at the store starts at 9am. Not
only do you have to catch any shoplifters
but when the boss says jump, you jump -
and you'd better not be late with his tea.
In between times, you'll have to cope
with floods, fires and even an
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escaped
gorilla monkeying about in the store.
Playing the game is pretty simple,
although the controls aren't exactly
responsive and the lifts between floors are
prone to get stuck sometimes - I haven't
sussed out if that's a feature or a gremlin.
Overall, this game's not bad but it feels
as if there's something missing - not fun
but perhaps addictiveness. I certainly
don't think you could class it as one of
the Gremlin Greats. 5/10
Dougie: For a complex 3D game, I'm
amazed at how they've overcome the
colour problems. Get's my vote on that
alone. 7/10
Rick: So, Gremlin's taken the leap off the
platforms into something altogether
different. Out of the frying pan? 'Fraid
so. 5/10
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BIG BEN STRIKES AGAIN
Artic / £6.95
Ross: Big Ben Strikes Again, or does he?
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Bungling Ben, the hopeless hack from the
Chronicle, has just received a report of a
leak in Parliament. So off he bumbles
down to Westminster for the scoop of the
century - or that's the theory anyway!
As Ben you've got to chase around the
House looking for the six politicians
who'll help you unravel your story.
There's no doubt that Spitting Image
would certainly be proud of the
caricatures of the leading MPs! But you
can't just go charging up to them and
expect them to hand you the story on a
plate. Oh no siree, you have to collect
gifts for them in exchange for their
snippets of information. Like all
politicians they just love to be pampered!
Hurry though, you must have your story
before Big Ben strikes twelve. Perhaps
you've never seen the wrath of an editor
when you hand in late copy -
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it starts
'em foaming at the mouth. (Grrrr! Ed).
One of the best features of this game is
the screen editor and designer that's
included in the program. It's strides
ahead of some of the game designer
packages I've seen. It lets you completely
re-design and add new features to any of
the twenty screens, so you never have to
play the same game twice. Give it a go if
you're into designing your own games. 6/10
Dougie: Hmm, the age of flickering
graphics isn't dead - thanks to a
comeback in this game. 4/10
Rick: It's worth taking a look at this one if
only for the cracking caricatures of our
illustrious (ho hum) leaders. Whether it's
worth playing is another matter. 5/10
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INTERNATIONAL RUGBY
Artic / £7.95
Ross: I say chaps let's have a game of
rugger - at
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least it's a real man's sport.
None of your wimpy Everyone's A Wally
stuff for us, eh? Right, on with the shorts
and on with the matcho.
International Rugger's another sport
simulation of the type that's so popular at
the moment. We're here for the Rome
International Rugby Tournament with the
choice of siding with England, Scotland,
Ireland, Wales or France. And your job?
Even a rugby player could wrap his brain
cell round this one - you just have to
win the Triple Crown or the Grand Slam.
You have the choice of playing by
yourself or against the computer and you
can make it hard or easy on yourself.
There's everything you'd expect in a real
rugby game - drop kicks, tries,
conversions, line outs, scrums, the lot -
except
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for bruises and, broken bones!
And if you don't know a rugby ball
from a ball bearing, don't despair - you
can always give it a go on the practice
mode. For a sports simulation, the
graphics and the playability aren't up to
the standard of, say, Imagine's Basketball,
but then that's a completely different
ball-game. If you're a rugger fan then
you'll still have fun chasing the ball
around the screen. 5/10
Rick: You control these little people three
pixels high, bearing no resemblance
whatsoever to rugby players - and I
loved it! 7/10
Dougie: You control these little people
three pixels high, bearing no resemblance
whatsoever to rugby players - and I
hated it! (OK, who's been looking over whose shoulder? Ed). 4/10
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RIDDLERS DEN
Electric Dreams / £7.95
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Dougie: Riddle me this. My first is in
arcade and my second is in adventure.
What am I? (D'you really want me to answer that? Ed) Riddlers Den, of
course. This is an arcade game that plays
like an adventure.
So, instead of rushing about like a
headless chicken through loads and loads
of rooms (that all look much the same)
and collecting as much treasure as you
can before you run out of energy, you'll
have to get the ol' grey matter into gear.
Otherwise you're not going to get far at
all. Not that you can't rush about like a
loony if you want to - there's even a
bank where you can stash your loot.
Your task is to get your mitts on the
Golden Tusk, but don't expect to come
close without a
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lot of brainache. And just
to make life interesting, there's a full complement of goblins and ogres,
dragons and gargoyles, plus a raging bull
and a giant spider.
Just like in a true adventure you can
only carry a certain number of objects
that can then be used only at certain
times or places. Overall, Riddlers Den is
both absorbing and frustrating at the
same time - it's just a riddle why other
games can't reach this sort of standard! 7/10
Ross: Who could resist playing the part of
a cute little elephant in search of the
Golden Tusk. Great graphics make for a
great adventure. 8/10
Rick: Good riddlance to this! It had me
going flat out on my tasks for the tusk. 7/10
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| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
|
STARQUAKE
Bubble Bus Software / £7.95
Dougie: Great galactic gargleblasters, an
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unstable planet has just emerged from a
black hole and the galaxy is gonna go
Boom unless you stop it!
As BLOB (Bio-Logically Operated
Being) you're the man for the job, the
man in the know, so off you go.
Starquake is a mega-massive arcade
adventure in the Sabre Wulf / Nodes of Yesod mould. All you have to do is save
the galaxy from total destruction - so
c'mon, by now that should be a complete
doddle.
For openers, you must find your way
about the inside of the planet, locate the
missing pieces of the core and rebuild it.
En route, you'll come across a whole host
of objects that'll come in handy including
your flexible friend - Axes or sumfin!
I'm reliably informed that there are 512
different screens in Starquake, but I can't
verify this as I
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ran out of fingers and
tootsies! There are also over twenty different monsters and fifteen teleports -
only one problem, you have to find the
correct teleport codes and I've been
sworn to secrecy. (Used notes only
please, in a plain brown wrapper.)
If you're into arcade adventures,
Starquake's one of the best around at the
moment. And you don't even have to
take your brain out of neutral to play it. 7/10
Ross: If it weren't for Ultimate, I'd say
this game was totally original - but then
Ultimate does exist! 5/10
Rick: This matches, even beats the
standards of most games. Now it's
cracked the technique, perhaps Bubble
Bus'll have a go at coming up with some
fresh ideas. 7/10
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WORLD SERIES BASKETBALL
Imagine / £7.95
Dougie: Watch out, the Globe Trotters are
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about. Keep your feet on the beat and the
ball on the bounce!
We can all name sports that haven't
translated at all well into computer
games, but Basketball's one of the
exceptions. As soon as the players come
bounding out onto the court you can tell
that this game's better than your average
offering. All the men are well animated
and move smoothly around the screen at
a speed that must have the sprite routine
working overtime.
You can play Basketball against one of
your buddies or against the computer.
Each game lasts six minutes and is
divided into two halves of three minutes
each (Cor and how else might they be divided? Ed). If the outcome's a draw,
you're given another thirty seconds to
battle for those baskets.
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You'll find controlling the players is a
touch tricky at first so it's just as well
there's a practice mode for improving
your dribbling skills and passing
techniques. Once you've got the hang of
that, you're in with a good chance of
taking the computer to the cleaners. But
you'll have to maintain very accurate
passing and shooting before you win.
Basketball is not only fun but it's also
one of those games you keep coming
back to. Net yourself a copy! 8/10
Rick: Done 'emself proud, has Imagine!
This is a worthy follow-up to World Series Baseball. 9/10
Ross: Imagine's certainly making a name
for itself with this series of sport
simulations. What d'you mean it made a
name for itself once before! Still, a
goodie. 8/10
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MAZE CRAZE
Partyline / £6.95
Rick: I s'pose it makes a change from
painting
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the town red. Partyline's Maze Craze could cause a yellow fever of
excitement if you've never been dazed by
a maze game before. Otherwise there's
little here that an awayday to Hampton
Court couldn't provide.
The game is simplicity itself. And the
more simple you are the more you'll
enjoy it. You've got to guide your man
about the maze, choosing a level of
difficulty between one and nine
depending on how much you like
wriggling your wrist.
As the man progresses he'll excrete
something yellow to colour the maze.
You better be quick though 'cos one of
the beastly beasties has a taste for this
sort of thing (rabbits do something
similar, I believe) and he'll gobble up
your trail.
On leaving the yellow brick road you've
to
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collect moths of various value whilst
avoiding the statutory plonkers and munchies! The moths get reincarnated
and die as quickly as interest in this game
and if you catch a frog or a bug you can
enter one of the four special mazes.
Here the 'ugly bug ball' continues and
pretty terrifyingly for those in awe of
arachnids. 'Cos here comes a spider to sit
down beside yer - and only a kamikaze
dive with the poison bottle can save you.
The khazi isn't the first place I'd despatch
this game. Little 'uns who like pulling the
legs off spiders or zapping flies in the
microwave might get a kick out of it. 3/10
Ross: Urrrgghhhh! 0/10
Dougie: Even if the game's a pile of old
dross you've got to give it to Partyline for
being brave enough to release it. 1/10
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THE GREAT FIRE OF LONDON
Rabbit Software / £3.99
[The screenshot printed in the magazine was upside down.]
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Rick: Rabbit Software takes a few Pepys
into the past (Groan! Ed) with a re-
enactment of the Great Fire of London.
1666 style, that is, not the summer of '81
or the autumn of '86. Forget all that stuff
about it starting in a baker's shop in
Pudding Lane because Alfred burnt his
cakes while watching a spider. This fire
can start anywhere and if you choose the
variable wind option this bright spark of a
burn-up will need some fast thought and
action if it's to be extinguished.
Don't be diverted by the flashing
graphic depicting the fire - even if it
does look more like a stroboscope.
Essentially this is a strategy game with a
degree of maze built in. A pretty accurate
scrolling map unfurls as you, the mayor,
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frantically beetle around mobilizing water
pumps, demolition gangs and gunpowder
men to deploy in a complete frenzy to
contain the conflagration.
All in all a thorough quick-fire strategy
game, which, if not exactly hot stuff has
no obvious defects and might give you
something to do other than fiddle while
London burns around you. 6/10
Ross: Not quite state of the art
programming but it's addictive and a
pyromaniac's dream. 8/10
Dougie: Being a Scot, I didn't half enjoy
burning London down! And I'm sure
everyone would enjoy seeing parliament
go up in smoke! 8/10
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| J . . O . . Y . . S . . T . . I . . C . . K
| JURY
|
HACKER
Activision / £7.95
[The screenshot printed in the magazine does not appear in the game; I've used an actual one here.]
Dougie: Phew, my brain hurts! A trifle
perplexing this little number - the only
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instructions on the packaging tell you
how to load the program. Nothing else,
zilch, zero ...
Panic not - we've already pieced
together the plot. It seems you take the
part of a computer hacker who's just
about to finish off a night on the phone.
But then he accidentally dials a wrong
number and the intriguing words
LOGON PLEASE appear on the screen.
Of course, you're an experienced hacker
so you try all the normal passwords -
FRED, HELLO, GUEST and so on -
all to no avail. No problem though, 'cos
after you've tried to log on three times,
the program lets you into the system
anyway.
So, we're in and we're off! And the first
thing you have to do is complete a laser
test on the SRU (Subterranean Remote
Unit). It's a trifle tricky at first, but once
you discover the Infrared Video Image
Sensor, then the Asynchronous Data
Compactor, the Hydraulic Motovator, the
Phlasmon Joint and the
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Thelman Port are
a doddle to find.
Now, the plot thickens as you discover
that you're in the computer of Magma
Ltd. The firm has discovered how to use
the Thermal Differential of Magma as a
virtually unlimited power source. And
with that, world domination is only a
matter of days away. It's your duty as a
citizen of the free world to stop them.
And as much as I'd like to help you with
more info - well the cheque from
Magma to stop me talking came in handy.
This is definitely a game for those of
you who like pitting your wits against the
machine. 6/10
Ross: A very clever idea that'll let you get
the feel for hacking. I'm just not sure
whether Activision's pulled it off. 7/10
Rick: A great game that lets you avert an
astronomic catastrophe without incurring
phone bills of astronomic proportions.
Well, how'd you like to be cut off in your
prime? 8/10
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ORM AND CHEEP - THE BIRTHDAY PARTY
Macmillan / £6.95
Rick: Orm and Cheep doesn't exactly roll
off the tongue like Starsky and Hutch or
Arfur and Tel
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but they're the teeny
heroes of the TV screen. Macmillan are
definitely aiming this little offering at the
under eights. However, in the best
tradition of Watch With Mother (or Dad)
this game is well presented and requires
enough thought to allow oldies to play
along too.
The game starts with a reaction test
which will determine the ability level you
start on. A memory test follows with
Cheep, a flighty little thing, having to
choose the ingredients for Orm's (the
caterpillar with the gorms) birthday.
Cheep, the chatty little canary, then has
to round up all the guests for the party
too. Hedgehog, snail and mouse can be
found through a simple maze which even
has signposts to help the lost. Mole's
underground tunnels are a little more
complex and require some mapping out
- all good practice for a budding
computer buff. It's not that easy
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though -
you've got to avoid those nasty baddies
the cat, crow and rat whilst you search.
Once the gang's all there they have to
be seated in the correct chairs. Having
achieved that, the crow turns up and
causes a kerfuffle - so you have to start
again. Never mind. The program
cunningly adjusts the skill level the more
accomplished you become.
Good, clear and colourful graphics,
excellent sound effects and unpatronising
instructions and attitude toward the
younger user all go to make this a solid
starter and, dare I say, educational game. 8/10
Ross: Takes you back to your childhood,
dunnit? Shame about Cheep's broken
wing though ... 7/10
Dougie: Educational software always
seems to have the best graphics routines
- why can't other publishers get to this
standard? 8/10
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| R O S S ' S R A V E O F T H E M O N T H
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MARSPORT
Gargoyle Games / £9.95
Ross: So, this is the first in a trilogy, eh?
Well, if this one's anything to go by, you can
stand by for a real treat. And don't be put off
by first impressions - sure, this game looks
very similar to Gargoyle's previous offerings,
Dun Darach and Tir Na Nog, but the scenario
and the problem solving are very different.
The year is 2494 and once again those
nasty alien, space invader thingies (these
ones are called the Sept) are trying to get
their slimy claws on Mother Earth. Your
mission is to prevent the impending
catastrophe. So, you must penetrate the city
computers on Marsport where the aliens are
holed out and escape with the plans for a
force field to surround earth. No problem, as
they say ...
Well, I've got news of you - It ain't that
simple. Not only do you have to find your
way around Marsport but you've got to do it
without being blasted away by the baddies.
Start off by mapping your progress - this'll
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The lifts move you
between levels but
you've no control over
where they stop. So
it's easy to get lost or
worse - you could
end up on a level
where the computer's
defences are
activated!
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Take a good look
around any new
corridor using the
camera function. You
can only see one wall
at a time and it's easy
to miss something
vital on the opposite
wall.
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All too much for you?
Nip into one of the
Mars Bars for a quick
drink.
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Rule One: Make a map
or the maze of
corridors will beat you
every time.
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Keep your bearings
with the compass -
otherwise you can
wander for daze!
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Early warning system:
this screen will tell
you when the bad
guys are about to
make an
appearance ...
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help you find the objects you're gonna need
if you stand a hope in hell of penetrating
further into the base. It's also the only way to
prevent that dizzy feeling you get from going
round and round in circles, like I did before I
got the hang of it!
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The graphics are beautifully animated, the
controls are excellent and it's great fun to
play. And if you're into sci-fi, like me, you'll
enjoy it even more. An all-round winner
that's well worth lashing out the megabucks on. 9/10
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