Age: 33

Secret Shames:

• Went on a date with Selma Bouvier
• Dumped by Selma because she thought he was too ugly to father her children

Drives: AMC Gremlin

Current Job: Runs a hot dog cart

Luckiest day: When Selma renewed his driver's license (during one of her happy moments when she was in love with Troy McClure) even though he's almost blind and can't see past the steering wheel

Extracurricular:

Taught class at the Adult Education Annex: How to Eat an Orange

His film, "Man Getting Hit by Football" was featured in the Springfield Film Festival. (In it, Hans gets hit by a football in the groin and instantly collapses)

Auditioned for the voice of Poochie

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