Title: Fan fiction
Author: Wendy Parkinson
Email: wendyparkinson@hotmail.com
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Summary: Jack finds out what Sam has been reading.....
Date: 15/5/99
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko
Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created
solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no
copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity
to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Author's notes: This piece of silliness was inspired by the
"actors don't read fan fiction" thread on the list. It
set me thinking - OK, actors aren't allowed to read fan fiction
but no-one said anything about the characters....... (You really
need to suspend disbelief with this one <g>)
I'd like to dedicate this to everyone on samandjack who has ever
posted a story - if I haven't mentioned one of yours it doesn't
mean I didn't read it or enjoy it.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly
appreciated. No flames please.
Copyright Wendy Parkinson May 1999
FAN FICTION
Colonel Jack O'Neill breezed into the briefing room rubbing his
hands together.
"Morning Campers!" he said cheerfully, surveying his
assembled team.
"Jack."
"O'Neill."
At the far end of the table Captain Samantha Carter grunted
incoherently and raised her hand in acknowledgement of her
commanding officer's presence. She was totally absorbed in a
sheaf of papers which she was holding tightly, occasionally
turning a page as she read. Jack raised his eyebrows at her
uncharacteristic behaviour and, walking round the table, sat down
next to her.
"Must be exciting stuff," he commented.
"Mmm."
Frowning, he decided to try the direct approach.
"What's that you're reading, Carter?"
Sam seemed to snap to attention. Shuffling the papers together,
she replied, "Just some short stories I downloaded from the
Internet, Sir."
"Cool. What kind of stories? Sci-fi? Westerns? Horror?"
She looked puzzled for a moment, then answered decisively,
"Sci-fi."
"Great! I love Sci-fi! Can I see?"
Before she could stop him, Jack had grabbed the sheaf of papers
and started leafing through them.
"Libidinous, Touch, Dream Lovers, Shameless..... Carter, are
you *sure* these are Sci-fi stories?"
She nodded vehemently.
"They have a Sci-fi setting, Sir."
He was eyeing her suspiciously when Daniel interrupted them.
"Libidinous. That's by Vanessa Nicholls, isn't it? The Queen
of Angst?"
Sam and Jack swivelled to face him.
"The Queen of what?"
"Angst, Sir. Yes it is, Daniel. Have you read it?"
"Yeah, I've read all her stuff. I visit her archive all the
time."
Jack opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, then blurted
out, "Daniel, you read romances on the Internet?"
"Ah, but they're not just romances, Jack. They're
about..."
He hesitated as he noticed Sam shaking her head and making
shushing motions. Teal'c chose this moment to assist Daniel.
"They are about us, O'Neill. My favourite author is Jennifer
Goll. She wrote a particularly interesting story entitled
Fire."
"He would like that one," muttered Sam under her
breath.
Jack raised a finger in the air and cleared his throat.
"So you're telling me there are stories on the Internet
about us? You mean SG1?"
"Yes, Sir. Authors make up stories involving us."
Jack glanced back at the sheaf of papers lying on the table.
"Romances?"
Sam managed a weak smile.
"Sometimes, Sir."
Jack licked his lips as he tried to form the next question.
"Umm.... so who has the romance? You and ......?"
Sam blushed crimson.
"You, Sir."
He looked as embarrassed as she did. After studying his
fingernails for a moment he hesitantly looked up at her.
"Could I read them?"
He held his hand out.
"I think perhaps you should start with something a little
more..... well, perhaps a little less..."
"Raunchy," finished Daniel cheerfully.
Sam glared at him.
"You mean break me in gently?"
"Yes Sir. I'll just find the site for you."
She stood up and walked over to the computer. After a moment the
screen became sky blue and Sam beckoned to him. His eyes widened
as he read the screen.
"The Sam and Jack Relationship Archive?"
"Yeah, don't mind us, we're just projecting."
"Daniel?"
"Oh sorry, that's the motto of the mailing list."
"You're on the mailing list too?"
"I lurk," he muttered sheepishly.
"Daniel, as you're here *all the time* which story would you
suggest?"
"How about The Queen's Pleasure? That author couldn't write
NC17 if her life depended on it."
"True. There you go, Sir. Enjoy!"
As Jack sat down and began to read, Sam pulled Daniel to one
side.
"How come you read the Sam and Jack stories? You're hardly
in them."
"Yeah, but at least I don't usually get hurt. A man can only
take so much whumping before he starts to get depressed."
Sam nodded understandingly.
"Have you read Avalon Moon yet? There's a nice mythological
element to that one...."
"All right, people. I'm calling this meeting to order,"
shouted General Hammond as he marched through the door. Jack left
the computer and sat down with the others.
The following morning Sam was grabbing a bite to eat in the mess
hall when a shadow fell across her table. Raising her head, she
found herself looking up at the Colonel. Smiling gently he asked,
"May I?"
"Sure," replied Sam as Jack took a seat facing her. He
sighed, then took a deep breath.
"Sam, I've been through the archive. Did you know there's
one story where we've got four kids?"
"Ah, but in an alternate reality."
"What difference does that make?"
Sam shrugged.
"You read all of the archive?"
Jack nodded slowly, his brown eyes were boring into her. She
could feel herself beginning to squirm.
"Yeah, even the Adult section."
She looked at the floor, the walls, anywhere but at him. He
continued, "We've made love in a sauna, in a shower, in an
elevator, on a beach, even weightless in a space shuttle."
Sam's head jerked up.
"I haven't read that one."
"The Long Flight Home by Lori. I've got to admit I can't
help wondering what that would feel like."
She nodded in agreement, comforted slightly by his matter of fact
attitude. They both paused, uncertain of what to say next. Jack
broke the silence.
"Sam, can I ask you something?"
Trying to smile encouragingly, she waited for him to continue.
"There's something mentioned in several of the stories that
I don't understand."
"Yeah?"
"Why would anyone want to bite my stomach?"
Credit where it's due (stories mentioned or referred to in order
of appearance) -
Libidinous Vanessa Nicholls
Touch Siobhan Gormley
Dream Lovers Maria Guyan
Shameless H. Arla Jack
Fire Jennifer Goll
The Queen's Pleasure Wendy Parkinson
Avalon Moon Samantha Petersen
One of Those Days Rachelle Grubbs
Heat Vanessa Nicholls
One Late Night Jennifer Goll
Heat, Revelations, Elevator Rides and All That Jazz H. Arla Jack
Paradise Jennifer Goll and Wendy Parkinson
The Long Flight Home Lori
All stories are archived at the Sam and Jack Relationship Archive
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Station/4335/
except for Fire by Jennifer Goll which can be found at Heliopolis
http://www.sg1-heliopolis.de/