Title: Seize the Day
Author: Wendy Parkinson
Email: wendyparkinson@hotmail.com
Category: Angst, S/J, missing scene
Spoilers: Point of View, First Commandment.
Season/Sequel info: Set during Point of View, season three
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: none
Summary: When Jack visits Samantha in her room, she gives him
some advice.
Archive: "Heliopolis" and "Sam and Jack"
Date: 11/1/2000
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko
Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created
solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no
copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity
to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly
appreciated. No flames please.
copyright Wendy Parkinson January 2000
SEIZE THE DAY
"Come here."
Samantha stepped forward into his embrace and shuddered as the
tears overtook her. "I miss him," she sobbed into
Jack's shoulder. He stroked her hair gently. It felt soft and
silky as it slipped gently through his fingers. He had to push
back the urge to play with it, to run his fingers through it.
Long hair had always held a fascination for him. It was strange
how he'd fallen for women with short hair, first Sara, then Sam.
Jack stopped himself. Sam? Where had that come from? She was his
second in command, not his lover, no matter what his fantasies
were.
"Oh Jack," murmured Samantha, "You even smell like
him. Same after shave." She nuzzled her face into his neck
and took a deep breath. He felt the air drawn across his skin and
shivered. She pulled back. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"You shivered. I felt you."
He shrugged, feigning innocence. "Someone walked over my
grave, I guess."
Pursing her lips, Samantha continued, "Jack O'Neill, I know
you." A frown crossed her features. "Well, kind of,
anyway. You're uncomfortable holding me. It's reminding you of
her, isn't it?"
"No," he whispered, his voice husky, his eyes not
meeting hers.
Samantha looked at him reprovingly and gently shook her head.
Stepping back, she took his hand in hers and led him across the
room to the bed. She sat down and patted the cover next to her.
"Join me?" He carefully seated himself, leaving a small
space, a kind of no-man's land, between them. "So
alike," she whispered to herself as she wiped her eyes.
Samantha turned to Jack. "You know before, when I said you
didn't think of Major Carter in that way, you never agreed with
me, did you?"
Jack found his mouth going dry, his stomach churning. His eyes
were drawn, almost of their own volition, to hers. It felt like
she was staring into his soul. He swallowed and blinked, then
licked his lips and said, "No, I can't think of her like
that. She's under my command."
"Waving the regs at me, Jack?"
"Sorry?"
"When I asked my late husband out for the first time he had
doubts about 'us' because we worked together. He couldn't see
past the difficulties. Jack could be stubborn and frightened to
express his feelings but he was a loveable, gorgeous, handsome
man and I'm betting you're very like him." The colonel found
himself blushing at the compliment and turned his head away so
Samantha didn't notice. "So.... you still didn't answer my
question. Do you think of Major Carter like *that*?" She
stressed the 'that', filling it with meanings Jack tried to push
to the back of his mind.
He smiled ruefully. "You're not going to let this drop, are
you?"
"No," she smiled, "And I warn you, Jack O'Neill, I
can tell when you're lying."
"How?" He found himself hovering somewhere between
confusion and panic, he wasn't used to someone speaking to him in
that way.
"Now that would be telling, wouldn't it? And stop trying to
change the subject." She prodded him playfully in the ribs,
then waited, an expectant and slightly amused look on her face.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he asked sulkily.
"That sounds like another attempt to change the subject to
me...." She paused and tipped her head on one side.
"Well?"
"I can't.... we can't...." he began hesitantly, his
eyes darting around the room, looking everywhere except at
Samantha.
She sighed. "I know the regulations, Jack. I'm not asking if
you two getting involved is a court martial offence. I'm asking
if you're attracted to her."
Jack nodded wearily. Samantha wasn't going to let him avoid
answering and he wasn't even sure if he wanted to keep his
feelings a secret any more. Perhaps it would be a relief to say
how he felt out loud, even if it was to the wrong woman. "Oh
yeah, I'm attracted to her. What man wouldn't be? She's
beautiful, bright and the best second in command I've ever
had."
Samantha sighed with relief. "Thank you! You know, that was
reminiscent of pulling teeth." Jack laughed. He wasn't sure
if it was at her joke, or the light-headedness that had overtaken
him when he'd admitted he had feelings for Sam. Samantha smiled
at him and stroked his arm. "So... what are you going to do
about it?"
"Nothing. I can't. It's against...."
"Regs! Don't say it! Jack O'Neill, you're beginning to sound
like a broken record! I'm guessing you don't always follow the
regs, my Jack didn't."
He shifted slightly on the bed, trying very hard to hide his
embarrassment. Samantha really did seem to know him. Very well.
"I've had my moments," he agreed.
"So tell her how you feel. If she feels the same, you'll
find a way round the regs."
"I can't..."
"In other words, you're frightened to try."
Jack's eyes flashed with annoyance. "What are you, my
conscience?"
"No, just a friend who knows what the two of you are
missing. Jack, I had something wonderful with my husband. I think
you and Major Carter are enough like us for the same thing to
happen to you."
His shoulders sagged, he let out a deep breath and shook his head
sadly. "She's never given me any indication that she thinks
of me as anything other than her commanding officer. What would
someone like her see in someone like me anyway? She could have
anyone she wanted."
"Has she?"
"What?"
"Had anyone she wanted? Is she seeing anyone?"
"Not that I know of. She seems kind of attached to Martouf
but I think that's sympathy. I don't think it's a romantic thing.
She was engaged to Captain Jonas before she joined the SGC but
she ditched him over three years ago."
Samantha's eyes widened in horror. "Jonas? That creep! How
on earth did she get involved with such a loser? He once made a
real idiot of himself at a base party. He wouldn't leave me
alone. In the end, I agreed to dance with him in the hope it'd
shut him up."
"Did it?"
"No. He got a bad case of wandering hands. You and
Kawalsky.... sorry, Jack and Kawalsky took him outside and gave
him a good talking to."
"Just talk? No physical violence?" Jack was
disappointed. When they'd been on that mission and found Jonas
behaving like a god, he'd been sorely tempted towards
unprofessional behaviour, particularly when Jonas had hit Sam.
Samantha smiled. "Charlie told me afterwards that was the
reason he'd gone too. He said it would have been a shame for
Jack's career to end on a murder charge."
"I miss Kawalsky," murmured Jack quietly.
"He's a good friend," said Samantha. "He was
Jack's best man at our wedding."
"In this reality, I'd have to ask Daniel to do that, though
I'd dread to think what kind of speech he'd make."
"So you've thought about marrying again?" she asked
mischievously.
"Fantasised would be more accurate."
"Jack, you've got to tell her. Don't just let things drift
on as they are. In this line of work, who knows how long you've
got. Jack and I only had a year. I hope you have longer but
you've got to make a move, say something. You've got to seize the
day."
"I'd like to but I can't just walk up to her and say 'excuse
me Major, I think I've fallen for you. Would you do me the honour
of being my wife?'"
"Of course you can't. You ought to call her Sam."
Jack's head shot up and he found himself looking into Samantha's
laughing face. She raised her hands in submission. "Joke.
But you could tell her that Jack and I were married and ask her
how she feels about that, or ask her how she's coping with
another one of her running around in her reality."
Jack nodded. "Yes, I could ask how she's doing with the
whole twin thing. Get a dialogue going. Thanks." He leaned
across and kissed her on the cheek. A comfortable silence fell
between them, then Jack cleared his throat. "Well, I'd
better let you get your dinner before it gets cold."
"I think what you meant to say was 'I'd better go and find
Major Carter before I lose my nerve'."
He laughed. "You do know me, don't you?"
Samantha reached across and squeezed his hand. "She could
too."
"I hope so. Good night Samantha."
"Good night, Jack."
With a quick glance back at Samantha, he stood up and left the
room, closing the door quietly behind him. He set off down the
corridor and was immediately confronted by the sight of Major Sam
Carter walking towards him. His heart skipped a beat. There was
no turning back now, he had to talk to her.
Sam spoke first. "Sir, General Hammond told me the news. I
took the liberty of informing Major Kawalsky."
"Thank you. I was just on my way to do that." Jack
quietly cleared his throat. He had to say something. Anything.
Sam's voice penetrated his thoughts.
"I thought I'd drop in on..... Samantha. See how she's
doing."
"She's fine. I think she'd rather be left alone at the
moment. Stop in tomorrow." His stomach had clenched into a
tight ball, the blood was racing in his ears. He had to say
it....
"Oh, all right. Good night, sir."
No! She was leaving. Now, O'Neill, now.....
"Carter, how are you doing with this 'twin thing'?"
Sam's brow creased slightly, then she laughed. "Do you have
a couple of hours?"
It was happening... it was finally happening.... Jack was unsure
what to say next, he hadn't really planned anything past 'how are
you doing with the twin thing'. "OK," he said
nervously, after a considerable pause.
The major looked confused. "That was the answer."
Jack's heart plummeted to his toes. He might want to bare his
soul to her but at the moment she didn't feel the same. He
managed to mutter, "Oh," as his mind raced, wondering
how to stop her walking away.
"Good night, sir."
Too late.
Blissfully unaware of her commanding officer's inner turmoil, Sam
turned and made her way back down the corridor.
Jack berated himself. Nice one, O'Neill. Real smooth. Well, it
wouldn't be tonight but one day he'd screw up the courage to tell
her how he felt, what she meant to him. He stood alone in the
corridor and watched her disappear out of view. "Good night,
major," he whispered.