Mulder:  "If its no bother -- if its not too big a deal -- maybe you can get me a few photographs of that thing which bears absolutely no resemblance to a horned beast."
Scully:  "Sure.  Fine. [*SNAPs* Latex glove] Whatever."

Mulder (To White): "She [Scully[ tends to be rather rigid; but rigid in a wonderful way -- not like she was today."

Mulder:  "I was hoping you could help me solve the mystery of the horny beast."

Astrologer:  "I think the whole town's lost it's marbles."

(Description: White throws Mulder onto his motel room bed, straddles him)
White: "Maybe we can solve the mystery of the horny beast."
Mulder: "Maybe we should just watch some television...uh...there's, there's a movie on the TV.  Actually, its the same, the same movie on every channel."
White: "Weird.  I like weird.  I feel weird. [kisses him]"

Astrologer:  "I'm just waiting for authorisation."
Mulder: "I'm a federal agent."
Astrologer: "Last I heard the federal government couldn't pay it's bills."

Astrologer: Well for the same reason my dogs been trying to mate with the barbecue grill for the last two months. A cosmic G-spot."

Scully: "Mulder, what the hell's going on here?"
Mulder: "Something cosmic."

Mulder & Scully:  "Put that gun down!"

Principal Bob: "I think that it was Satan.  Yes sir...Satan it was."
Mob: "Oooooohhhhhhhhh...."

Terri: "You know, maybe if we weren't virgins we wouldn't be so scared."

Mulder: "It looks like a... goat.  Some kind of horned beast."
Scully: "A horned beast?"
Mulder: "Yeah, right here.  In the circle."
Scully: "I think you guys are seeing something that isn't there."

Margi (Like sportscaster): "Hate him, Roger."

Terri: "Points though for improved dermatology, Gene."

Terri: "Scott Simmons.  Babe-o-licious in overtime, Gene!"
Margi: "Minus the Brenda appendage."
Terri: "Hate her."
Margi: "Hate her.  Wouldn't want to date her."
Bob: "Maybe Harvey's got something to hide.  We got two kids who are prepared to say he took them on a camping trip and made them play naked movie star games!"

Scully: "The bones... turn out to be the skeletal remains not of an infant but of a beloved 14 year old Llasa-Apso, formerly known as... (pulls out collar) Mr. Tippy."
Terri: "Mr. Tippy!"
Mulder: "This may not be any time to mention it, but somebody is wearing my favourite perfume."

(Continued on page 59)