Sunderlands kit for next season has just been unvieled.. It's all white with a pointed white hood and a flaming cross on the front.
A Makem fan is comming out of the stadium of S***e after another game lost in the Nationwide league. A prostitute comes up to him and says... "Do you fancy a blow job, pet..?" He stares at her in a dim, Makem like way, and says "Will it effect me Giro...?"..
Have you got what it takes to support Newcastle, Sunderland or Man United? Answer these questions to find out.
I support my team because
Watching my team
It's costly supporting my team because
Since the Taylor Report on Safety at football
To see some action in Europe next year
The sort of player who I'd like to see playing for us
A penalty is usually given
a) All too frequently against us
Your team narrowly loses the title to your deadliest rivals in a
thriving final league game. Do you
Your team wins the title. Do you
b) Wake up. Of course it was all a dream.
When I die
Mainly A's - You support Newcastle United
Mainly C's - We don't want to know!
Quasimodo asks Esmerelda if he really is the ugliest man alive. Esmerelda says "Go upstairs and ask the magic mirror who is the ugliest man aliveand the mirror will tell you." Five minutes later Quasimodo comes down stairs and asks Esmerelda"Who the f*ck is Peter Reid?"
After having their 10th child, a couple from Sunderland decided that was enough. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor told the man that he was to go home, get a fireweork, put it in a can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Makem said to the doctor "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a banger in a can next to my ear is going to help me." So the couple drove to Newcastle to get a second opinion. The doctor was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed they were from Sunderland. This doctor also told the man to go home and get a banger, place it in a tin can, hold it next to his ear and count to 10..
Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a firework and put it in a can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count,"1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." at which point he paused, placed the can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand...
A Sunderland fans wife get's on to the bus holding her 3 week old baby... The bus driver says " Hey pet, you're baby is the ugliest baby I've ever seen! " The woman pays her fare and goes off and sits up the back of the bus almost in tears. A man says to her "What's up, love?'"..... "The bus driver has just been very rude rude to me back there..." The man replies: "Although you are a filthy Makem, you shouldn't let him get away with that, I reckon you should go and say something, after all he is a public servant, he can't do that to you..." She says: "I will then, I'm off"...
The man replies "Do you want me to hold your monkey...?!"...
Two Makems standing on a cliff. One has two budgies on his shoulder, the other has a parrot on his. The first Makem jumps, screaming through the air to land in a crumpled heap on the ground below.
Seconds later, his mate jumps. Halfway down, he pulls out a pistol and blows the parrot's head off...but to no avail, as he crashes in a heap next to his mate. First Makem moans, then says to his mate: "This budgie jumping is over-rated you know! His mate half-turns his broken neck and replies: "Yeah, and the parrot-shooting isn't much better...
A Skunk, a Makem and a Manure fan were exploring deepest, darkest Africa when they came across a huge river. They were just wondering how they would get across when a leprechaun appeared on the riverbank. "If you can get across this river without being eaten by the crocodiles" he said, "I'll give you my pot of gold."
"No problem" says the Skunk. He gets halfway across before being swallowed by an enormous crocodile. The manure fan goes next but almost as soon as he touches the water, a crocodile gets him. Finally it's the Makem's turn. Before diving in, he gets out a permanent marker and writes "Peter Reid to buy £3 million player.!" on his shirt. He then dives in and swims straight across unharmed.
"Thats amazing" says the leprechaun, "How on earth did writing that stop the crocodiles from eating you?"
"Well", says the Makem, " Peter Reid to buy £3 million player.!? Not even a crocodile can swallow that..."
There's a Makem, a Rastafarian and a Geordie in a hospital waiting to pick up their newly born baby boys. The doctor comes in and says "I'm afraid there's been a terrible mix up and we're not sure which baby is which...". The doc leaves the 2 men and the Makem to decide who picks first, They draw straws and obviously the Makem loses. The Geordie wins and runs over to pick up the little black baby... "What the bleedin' hell are you doing, that's not yours..." cries the Rastafarian,
"F**k off, mate, I won and I'm not ending up with a Makem...".