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Restoring Trust

Recovering and Rediscovering Trust
Overcoming a Legacy of Mistrust and Betrayal

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veryard projects > trust > restore > mistrust

There is a clear difference between a simple absence of trust, and positive mistrust.  Mistrust is supposedly a consequence of
past actions.  In fact, it is often a consequence of a complex set of beliefs, perceptions, associations and interpretations.

Mistrust is usually more difficult to deal with than simple absence of trust.  How do I deal with other people's mistrust of me,
whether this is fairly deserved or not?  Do I tackle false beliefs head-on, or do I try to dissociate myself from the events that
triggered the mistrust, or do I simply switch my identity and reappear under a new guise?

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veryard projects > trust > restore > forgiveness

Can we forgive people and companies who have abused our trust? Should we?

'Consumers are more willing to return to a company that has made a mistake but then rectified it, than to one that has not made a mistake in the first place: the act of admitting an error confirms the authenticity of the relationship more than the efficient delivery of a service.' [Mulgan, p117]

"A man caught on the rebound from failure can be a wonderful investment An opportunity to reestablish himself in his own esteem, when he has forfeited it, is something for which a man will give you a great deal in return." [General Sir John Hackett, The Profession of Arms (Sidgwick & Jackson, 1983) pp 220-221]

While society values a person's or company's ability to respond authentically to error -- whether technical, functional or moral -- this often appears unfair to those who have not erred. (This relates to the story of the Prodigal Son -- for whose resentful brothers Jesus created the parable of the lost sheep.)
more Authenticity

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veryard projects > trust > restore > strategems

Here are some of the available stratagems for achieving trust and overcoming mistrust.
Renewal Constantly refresh self and relationships.
Restart / Repeat Try again - with different partners and participants.
Repair Reintegrate. Mend fences.
Relax / Reduce Increase tolerance to minor issues, reduce dependency.
Retaliate Engage in tit-for-tat, to punish and (hopefully) correct error and betrayal.
Renunciation Forgo trust - attempt to do without trust altogether.
Redemption Rely on a higher authority.
Reversal Engage paradoxically with trust. Deny trust in order to affirm trust.
more Patterns of Change

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This page last updated on December 10th, 2001
Copyright © 2001 Veryard Projects Ltd