THE FITZY WITCH PROJECT THE FITZY WITCH PROJECT
the transcribed script
SCENE 13
Complete darkness, yet again. All is silent for a second or two then there is a small continuous screeching noise in the background, and a few bangs. The crew are in a bathroom. To Heather's right is Josh and in front of her, with his back to the door is Mike, who has re-joined them.
Heather : What the fuck is that noise?
ALL IS SILENT AND THE CAMERA MOVES AROUND, OCCASIONALLY PICKING UP SOME LIGHT.
Josh : What the fuck is that?
HE SHINES THE TORCH ON THE LAVATORY PAN, HEATHER TURNS TO FACE IT WITH THE CAMERA.
Mike : Holy shit.
Heather : Oh, shit...holy shit!
Mike : No way, man.
Heather : Holy fucking u-bend.
THERE IS SOME NERVOUS LAUGHTER. HEATHER ZOOMS INTO THE PAN A LITTLE CLOSER. MIKE MUMBLES SOMETHING, BUT THE ACOUSTICS IN THE ROOM ARE PISHYPANTS, SO IT IS DIFFICULT TO PICK UP WHAT HE SAYS.
Heather : It's a fucking toilet...hold on, man.
JOSH LAUGHS. HEATHER MOVES CLOSER TO THE PAN AND BEGINS TO UNDO HER FLIES.
Heather : I'm dying for a pish.
THERE IS SOME LAUGHTER
Mike : I need a dump.
THE CAMERA MOVES UP.
Heather : Come on, man, we...take this seriously.
Josh : Fuck, man.
THE CAMERA MOVES TOWARDS A SMALL MIRROR RESTING ON A SHELF.
Heather : What the fuck is this?
JOSH SHINES THE TORCH ON IT AND HEATHER TOUCHES IT WITH HER HAND.
Heather : It's fuckin'....Blair Witch shit. Fucking mirror. Shit, man.
Josh : Fuck.
Mike : That wasn't there this morning.
Heather : We weren't in here this morning.
JOSH LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.
Josh : Oh, fuck, man...
Mike : It all looks so similarilar...
Josh : Fuck, man.
Heather : Fuck! It all looks so fucking similar...
SHE RAISES HER VOICE AND SOUNDS LIKE A BIG MAN
Heather : We've been here like forty times!
Mike (YELLING) : Well, it's not my fault! FUCK...
Josh : Fuck this, man.
Mike : ...SAKE!
Heather : Look, there's the door, let's just go.
WE BRIEFLY SEE THE BOTTOM HALF OF MIKE'S FACE. AN EVIL GRIN SPREADS OVER IT.
Mike (YELLING EVILLY) : GAAAW...
[CUT]