THE FITZY WITCH PROJECT THE FITZY WITCH PROJECT
the transcribed script
SCENE 4
A kitchen in a house in Condorrat. They have managed to capture yet another local, called, Mrs. X, trapping him up against cooking appliances to be brutally questioned.
Local (IN THE BACKGROUND) : Where are yeez gawn?
Heather : "Ok, and your name is...sir?"
THERE IS A LONG SILENCE.
Jim (FROM ANOTHER ROOM) : Bob!
Mrs. X : Michael.
Josh : What about Mrs. X?
THE CAMERA TURNS TO JOSH
Heather : Mrs...
Josh & Heather : X!
LIGHTS FLASH ON AND OFF
Heather : When did you first hear of the Fitzy Witch?
THERE IS LAUGHTER FROM LOCAL AND JIM
Mrs. X : Yesterday...
THE CAMERA TURNS TO LOCAL WHO IS STANDING IN THE DOORWAY WITH JIM FLICKING THE LIGHT SWITCH ON AND OFF
Heather : Fucking piss off, asshole.
Local : I'm trying to make it look dramatic.
Heather : It's a fucking local!
Josh : Fuck you.
LAUGHTER
[CUT]
SCENE 4A
The same scenario as before, Mrs. X is standing next to cooking appliances being brutally questioned by the crew.
Heather : Ok, uhm...so...what did you hear about the Fitzy Witch?
SOMEBODY HICCUPS
Mrs. X : Erm...that he was big and ugly and ate lots of chocolate.
THE CAMERA TURNS TO JOSH AND MIKE (WHO IS BRANDISHING A 16 MM CAMERA NOW)
Heather : That sounds quite right.
Josh : Fuck you, man.
THERE IS A LITTLE COMMOTION, THEN THE CAMERA RETURNS TO MRS. X
Heather : Ok, thank you very much, sir. We'll be getting in contact for free...porn!
CLOSE UP OF JOSH
Josh : Get it on 16, man...
Heather : PORN!
[CUT]
SCENE 4B
Still in the kitchen, this shot has Mike filming the camera with his 16 mm.
Heather : Hey, baby!
Mike : Hey!
Heather : We got a 16 milli, man...woobydoobydooboo
LOTS OF HAND MOVEMENT AND WOO NOISES
[CUT]