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EDGES MAGAZINE Issue |
October 1998 |
"I DIDN'T FINISH MY A LEVELS"
...
For the last two and a half
months I have been homeless and living in a temporary shelter and just
recently I've moved into a flat, at the moment I have got no gas or
electricity or anything. I was thrown out by my mum and dad for being
unemployed, just dosing about, going out with my mates and coming back
in the morning, not seeing them all day and then going out again at
night. I got thrown out of college twice, and I got sacked from my
job. I
started college in 1996 and I was doing A-Levels in Media Studies,
English and Medieval History. I got thrown out for messing about with
my mates and never turning up because I found it boring. I went to
College a year after that and got thrown out of there as well because
I found it boring and I was again just messing about with my mates. I
got 7 GCSE's, A for English Literature, A for English Language and A
for History, B in Geography, C for Science, C for Maths and C for
French. I found it boring because when everyone else was doing the
lessons I was having a good time; whilst people turned up for there
lessons I was living my life quick. I started doing "acid"
in the 3rd Year of Secondary School and that just wakened me up. I
realised I didn't want to spend all my day doing lessons - I wanted to
be out. I don't believe in Heaven or anything like that,
you've got to make the best of your life, your 70 years if you can.
Some people can, and some people don't manage it. That's why I don't
want to just get a crap job, I've worked in a supermarket - it bored
me senseless. I don't want to get a stupid job working for 4 an
hour and wasting my life just getting a pension, and live in a grotty
house. I want to leave something when I die, something people can
remember me by, be famous or something. I'd like to be a Journalist or
own my own business. When you are homeless you just live
for the day. As soon as I became homeless I went to an emergency
shelter and then all I was waiting for was to get temporary shelter,
then all I was waiting for was to get a flat, now all I'm waiting for
is gas. There's always something you've got to do; you can never just
chill out. All I do is wake up in the morning and try and get some
food and try and get some fags, next day wake up in the morning try
and get some food, try and get some fags - no future though, so that's
why I want to go to college. That's all it is every day, get some
food, get some fags, get bored get some dope, take some trips or
something. You find time's running out - I'm 19, if I was 16 it
wouldn't be too bad, but I'm 19. I can't get a job because I haven't
worked for a year, only jobs I can get are rubbish, so I've got to get
myself through college and so I can do something good that I enjoy
doing every day, a job that when I wake up I want to go to, I suppose.
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